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nChrist
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« Reply #1635 on: March 13, 2008, 06:41:26 AM » |
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Ammunition Substantiation
An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced an infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had already been bitten.
So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that the post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a snake present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was justifiable.
The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe box on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very live, rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a short note. The note said, "I missed!"
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nChrist
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« Reply #1636 on: March 14, 2008, 06:42:57 AM » |
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Dangerous Dog
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware of Dog" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1637 on: March 15, 2008, 02:36:00 AM » |
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I've got to know - did you try to lick your elbow?  Love In Christ, Tom Yes. I did.  |
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Let us fight the good fight!
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1639 on: March 15, 2008, 05:53:26 PM » |
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YES - I tried it twice - one for each side
 I actually had seen that "lick your elbow" thing quite a while back in an email from my daughter and tried it then, so this time I already knew it was impossible! |
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Let us fight the good fight!
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1640 on: March 15, 2008, 06:04:19 PM » |
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So here's an odd thing. I was just searching for some political jokes and specifically to spoof Obama. Guess what. Can't find any current ones. There are Bush jokes, Clinton jokes, McCain jokes, but no Obama jokes. Whats that all about? Has he become sacred? Holy? Untouchable? Hands off? What's up with that?
Grammyluv.
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Let us fight the good fight!
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nChrist
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« Reply #1641 on: March 16, 2008, 01:35:43 AM » |
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So here's an odd thing. I was just searching for some political jokes and specifically to spoof Obama. Guess what. Can't find any current ones. There are Bush jokes, Clinton jokes, McCain jokes, but no Obama jokes. Whats that all about? Has he become sacred? Holy? Untouchable? Hands off? What's up with that?
Grammyluv.
Sister, I haven't looked. If this is the case, maybe we can start some Obama jokes. After all, he is the Benny Hinn of Politics. |
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1642 on: March 16, 2008, 11:34:54 AM » |
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So here's an odd thing. I was just searching for some political jokes and specifically to spoof Obama. Guess what. Can't find any current ones. There are Bush jokes, Clinton jokes, McCain jokes, but no Obama jokes. Whats that all about? Has he become sacred? Holy? Untouchable? Hands off? What's up with that?
Grammyluv.
There aren't any that I could find either that is specifically about Obama that I would call funny. The closet I could come up with is the following that I think actually ruins a funny commercial.  Time to dig out my graphics software.  |
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« Last Edit: March 16, 2008, 11:36:27 AM by Pastor Roger »
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1643 on: March 16, 2008, 11:45:25 AM » |
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 A Vote For Obama Takes Us Here. |
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1644 on: March 16, 2008, 12:19:21 PM » |
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1646 on: March 16, 2008, 01:34:20 PM » |
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ROFL! YEAH! This one is brilliant and will be all over the Internet in no time at all. The only thing I want to know is who pulls all the strings in the back. Could it be George Soros? Him and his muslim entourage. |
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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nChrist
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« Reply #1647 on: March 17, 2008, 11:13:28 PM » |
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City Kids Camping
Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten.
Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: "we might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!"
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Shammu
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« Reply #1648 on: March 18, 2008, 11:20:33 PM » |
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City Kids Camping
Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten.
Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: "we might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!"
Hello Mudder - Hello Fadder
Here I am at - Camp Granada
And it's very - entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining
I went hiking - with Joe Spivey
He developed - Poison Ivy
You remember - Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine pois'ning last night after dinner
Take me home, oh Mudder, Fadder
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me, out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear-ear
No I don't want - to-oo scare ya
But my best mate - has malaria
You remember - Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organise a searching party
Take me home, I promise I will not, make noise
Or mess the house with oth-ther boys
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day
Dearest Fadder - Darling Mudder
How's my precious - little bruddah
Let me come home - if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me
Wait a minute - it's stopped hailing
Guys are swimming - guys are sailing
Playing cricket - gee that's better
Mudder, Fadder kindly disregard this letter
Ay! it's my turn to bat! |
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Shammu
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« Reply #1649 on: March 18, 2008, 11:29:43 PM » |
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So here's an odd thing. I was just searching for some political jokes and specifically to spoof Obama. Guess what. Can't find any current ones. There are Bush jokes, Clinton jokes, McCain jokes, but no Obama jokes. Whats that all about? Has he become sacred? Holy? Untouchable? Hands off? What's up with that?
Grammyluv.
Hillary, Obama and Edwards walk into a bar. The bartender says, what will you have? Hillary ducks out to call her advisors. Edwards looks around the bar at the people and says, “I will have what all of them are having.” Obama looks deeply into the bartender’s eyes and says, “just give me the usual.” The barrtender smiles, sensing immediately what he wants. Hillary comes back and orders a Diet Coke. While they are drinking, a kangaroo comes in and orders a pint of beer. The bartender, thinking he is an easy mark, says that will be 20 dollars. “And by the way,” the bartender adds, “we don’t get many kangaroos in here.” The kangaroo answers, “at 20 dollars a pint, it’s no wonder.” Hillary goes out to call her advisors again. She comes back. “Give me what the kangaroo is having.” ~~~~~~~ "Osama bin ... Osama ... Obama" - Democrat bumbling Senator Ted Kennedy ~~~~~~~~ "Do you know what Barack Obama's middle name is? Hussein. Could've been worse. Could've been Kerry." - Jay Leno ~~~~~~~ "Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser." - Jay Leno ~~~~~~~~ The Reverend Jesse Jackson told CNN that he's planning to endorse Barack Obama for president. Experts say this is a risky move for Jackson, because hardly anything rhymes with 'Barack Obama.' |
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