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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
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Author Topic: Things Women Don't Know  (Read 14788 times)
Shylynne
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« Reply #105 on: October 16, 2004, 06:19:54 PM »

Grin   I'll take Politics of Borneo for $100 Please.   Grin

Oh no you dont...women choose the clues!




 And i`m geographically impaired so no  picking  things like islands in the south china sea to make me look blond  Tongue
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« Reply #106 on: October 17, 2004, 01:42:08 PM »

(By Email - Is this real?)

Subject: KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.


ROFLOL Grin Grin Grin



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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
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http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

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« Reply #107 on: October 19, 2004, 08:41:37 AM »

Sad News  to report:

It is with the  saddest heart that I must pass on  the
following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon  of the
entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of  celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the CaliforniaRaisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima
delivered the  eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later
life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times he  still, was a
crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two
children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his  elderly dad, Pop Tart.

The funeral was  held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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nChrist
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« Reply #108 on: October 19, 2004, 12:55:37 PM »

Sincereheart,

 Grin   Grin  The news of my demise is greatly exaggerated.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2004, 12:58:44 PM by blackeyedpeas » Logged

Allinall
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« Reply #109 on: October 19, 2004, 04:28:05 PM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy
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sincereheart
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« Reply #110 on: October 20, 2004, 08:24:54 AM »

Sincereheart,

 Grin   Grin  The news of my demise is greatly exaggerated.

ROFL!  Grin

(you're way too skinny  Wink)
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sincereheart
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« Reply #111 on: October 20, 2004, 08:26:59 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
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Kalthzar
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« Reply #112 on: October 21, 2004, 02:11:18 PM »

you know that makes me glad i have no sisters
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« Reply #113 on: October 24, 2004, 01:46:02 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
Then you'll be infor trouble, Allinall.  Been there done that, not much help I know but..................

Its a blast watching them grow up.
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Brother Love
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« Reply #114 on: October 24, 2004, 11:30:21 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
Then you'll be infor trouble, Allinall.  Been there done that, not much help I know but..................

Its a blast watching them grow up.


I agree Smiley


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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

<Smiley))><
Shammu
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« Reply #115 on: October 24, 2004, 11:35:37 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
Then you'll be infor trouble, Allinall.  Been there done that, not much help I know but..................

Its a blast watching them grow up.


I agree Smiley



Thats a first........ Wink
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Brother Love
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« Reply #116 on: October 24, 2004, 11:37:30 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
Then you'll be infor trouble, Allinall.  Been there done that, not much help I know but..................

Its a blast watching them grow up.


I agree Smiley



Thats a first........ Wink

Your BAD Grin


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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

<Smiley))><
Shammu
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« Reply #117 on: October 24, 2004, 11:40:40 AM »

Men need to Learn to put the Toliet Seat DOWN!!!!!! [/b]  Tongue Tongue
Why there are no women in my home....... Grin

I've got 3.  I jest with my wife that when my girls get older, there will be a week every month when I disappear.  She jests back that I'll probably only have 1 week when I'd want to appear.   Cheesy  She funny!  And probably right, so DW...when can I move in?   Grin



Yes.  I'm kidding.

You sure?  Wink

I just spent the last few days watching my girls be sick with colds.  The oldest cried at everything that happened.  Not just a tear, but wailing and sobbing.  The younger got angry at everyone and everything and yelled until she ended up sobbing.  This, is NOT[/b] a good sign of future circumstance.   Cheesy

*gulps* Just wait till they become teens!  Lips Sealed
Then you'll be infor trouble, Allinall.  Been there done that, not much help I know but..................

Its a blast watching them grow up.


I agree Smiley



Thats a first........ Wink

Your BAD Grin



Least I am in good company. Grin
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Shylynne
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« Reply #118 on: October 26, 2004, 02:01:13 PM »

Clue: Now that you have (if you have a clue at all) finally come to the  conclusion you will never completely understand women, then dont even begin to think you will ever understand teenage women!

   Grin
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nChrist
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« Reply #119 on: October 26, 2004, 06:05:54 PM »

Clue: Now that you have (if you have a clue at all) finally come to the  conclusion you will never completely understand women, then dont even begin to think you will ever understand teenage women!

   Grin

 Grin   Grin

I'll have you know that my wife gives me a clue and tells me whatever I need to know any time I want. AND, my grown daughter with children helps her. SO, I am not clueless! I write all my clues down and keep them in a safe place. I just can't remember where.   Grin

 Tongue
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