BULL

[Brother Love]

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."


Brother Love

[Saved_4ever]

This one is deffinately for the boys but I have found it to be true.

How do you tell the difference between a male piece of equipment and female one?

If you can fix the problem like the Fonz it's a male piece of equipment.

If you try to fix it like the Fonz and it gets worse, it's a female piece of equipment.

 

[Brother Love]

This one is deffinately for the boys but I have found it to be true.

How do you tell the difference between a male piece of equipment and female one?

If you can fix the problem like the Fonz it's a male piece of equipment.

If you try to fix it like the Fonz and it gets worse, it's a female piece of equipment.

 

How True, LOL

Brother Love

[nChrist]

   All good ones - Here's my groaner:

Recommended Short Books:

A Guide to Arab Democracies

A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman

Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean

Different Ways to Spell "Bob"

Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches

Easy UNIX

Ethiopian Tips on World Domination

Everything Men Know About Women

Bob Dole: The Wild Years

Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette

One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA

Popular Lawyers

In Christ,
Tom

[Ambassador4Christ]

Thanks for all the laughs Brothers

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
 

[Brother Love]

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

Brother Love

[Early57]

WHY MEN DIE FIRST
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but,  now  we know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do housework...you're a pansy.
If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a promotion ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.
If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive Boy
If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a  chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself.
If not....................you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't..........there must be someone else.




So why do Men die first?


Men die first because they WANT TO

[Saved_4ever]

Men die first because they WANT TO

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 

[Ambassador4Christ]

Men die first because they WANT TO

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 

DITTO

[Ambassador4Christ]

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

[Symphony]

Person(take your pick), to spouse:   "Honey, have we really been married 25 years?  Or does it just SEEM like 25 years??"


   

[Brother Love]

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!” It worked.  

Brother Love

[Coyote]

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!” It worked.  

Brother Love

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I'm gonna ry that with my daughter Sunday...  

[Ambassador4Christ]

This is the best one ... A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

[TigerLily]

  A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. "I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted. "So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."    



  A man went to the doctor to look at a dog bite. The doctor did some tests and came back a few minuets later and said "I'm sorry to inform you that you have rabies."
The man quickly pulled out a pen and pad of paper and started writing. Thinking he was making out his will, the doctor said "There is no reason to make out a will. Rabies is treatable these days. You're not going to die from it."
The man looked at him and said "Oh, I'm not making out a will. I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."