BULL

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to Brother Love,

ROFL - Laughter is good medicine to start another day.

   Thanks Brother!

In Christ.
Tom

[Brother Love]

Oklahoma Howdy to Brother Love,

ROFL - Laughter is good medicine to start another day.

   Thanks Brother!

In Christ.
Tom

Ame Bro

Brother Love

[Ambassador4Christ]

Oklahoma Howdy to Brother Love,

ROFL - Laughter is good medicine to start another day.

   Thanks Brother!

In Christ.
Tom

DITTO

[Ambassador4Christ]

Blonde Cookbook

MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food
cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The
neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra
bowls.

TUESDAY:
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said
serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a
surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly
before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but
I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.
It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of
lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up
to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the
garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all
ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have
been something wrong with this recipe. When I got
back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY:
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a
chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).
For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast.
All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash
of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the
controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much
to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for
tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on
Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to
surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

 

[Ambassador4Christ]

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to
come out of the bottle.  During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother..........Then she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now.   She's hitting the bottle."  

[Ambassador4Christ]

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it.  What he
saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in
between the pages. "Mama, look what I found",
the boy called out.

" What have you got there, dear?"  

With astonishment in the young boy's voice,
he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

God is Like...

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:

BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

a FORD
He's got a better idea.

COKE
He's the real thing.

HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

SEARS
He has everything.

ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him.

SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there.

DELTA
He's ready when you are.

ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him?
Don't you wish everybody did?

the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

 

[Brother Love]

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to
come out of the bottle.  During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother..........Then she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now.   She's hitting the bottle."  

LOL

Brother Love

[Brother Love]

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother.  The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."

Brother Love

[Saved_4ever]

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother.  The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."

Brother Love

HEHEHEH  

[Saved_4ever]

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Redneck are captured by a fierce tribe of Indians.The chief walks up to them and says, "I have bad news and good news.The bad news is you will all die, and we will use your skin to make canoes. The good news is you can choose the way you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." When given the poison, the Frenchman shouts, "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for m! e." When given the pistol, the Englishman puts the gun to his head and shouts, God save the queen!" and shoots himself in the head.

The Redneck asks for a fork. Puzzled, the chief hands the Redneck a fork, and he begins stabbing himself all over his body, his stomach, his sides, his chest ... everywhere.

As the blood from the redneck begins gushing out all over, the chief is appalled and screams, "What are you doing?"

The Redneck looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, Bubba!"

Brother Love

HEHEHEHE    That's soooooo wrong.

[Symphony]

Yeah, that ketchup one is good too.
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to
come out of the bottle.  During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother..........Then she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now.  She's hitting the bottle."  

LOL  

Reminds me of that old Doris Day movie, knock at front door, salesman, shown down to basement to try to interest Day in marketing her delicious ho-made ketchup.  Meanwhile, phone rings, Day's little boy answers, it''s James Garner, Day's husband, calling from work.  "May I speak with Mommy?".  Son says, "Shes down in the basement with a man right now".

   

[Brother Love]

Cagey Cajun
 
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Southern Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou  well known for its fishing.
 
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
 
"Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Dese here are my pet fish."
 
"Pet fish?"
 
"Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I whistle and dey  jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home."
 
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
 
The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de >truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really  works."
 
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
 
The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited.
 
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
 
"Well, what?" Said the Cajun.
 
"When are you going to call them back?"
 
"Call who back?"
 
"The FISH!"
 
"What fish?"

 

[Ambassador4Christ]

~~Headlines for 2043~~


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as the California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern
United States crops &livestock.

Baby conceived naturally....
Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "Chad" sells at Sotheby's for $1.6 million.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2044.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2046.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

[Ambassador4Christ]

Cagey Cajun
 
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in Southern Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou  well known for its fishing.
 
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
 
"Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Dese here are my pet fish."
 
"Pet fish?"
 
"Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I whistle and dey  jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home."
 
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
 
The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de >truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really  works."
 
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
 
The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited.
 
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
 
"Well, what?" Said the Cajun.
 
"When are you going to call them back?"
 
"Call who back?"
 
"The FISH!"
 
"What fish?"

 

This one makes my top 10 Brother LOL