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Willowbirch
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« Reply #195 on: October 30, 2004, 12:08:33 PM » |
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Symphony posted a thread on the bonebox that supposedly belonged to Jesus' brother.
I asked what kind of bone it was made of.
I am going to vote.
I looked in the fridge this morning and found an old package of Brie cheese that expired last month.
I opened the package.
I am going to vote
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"Man dreams and desires; God broods, and wills, and quickens."
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nChrist
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« Reply #196 on: October 30, 2004, 01:21:06 PM » |
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Steven Wright........
I tried to unlock the house with the car key. It started up, so I drove it around the block.
I am going to vote.
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Shylynne
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« Reply #197 on: October 30, 2004, 01:35:28 PM » |
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You all are putting me in stitches!!!!!!!
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.” — Joni Eareckson Tada There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God - Shylynne |
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Shylynne
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« Reply #198 on: October 30, 2004, 01:39:48 PM » |
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We offer you TONTO for President
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for presidential position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.” — Joni Eareckson Tada There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God - Shylynne |
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nChrist
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« Reply #199 on: October 30, 2004, 04:20:26 PM » |
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sincereheart
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« Reply #200 on: October 31, 2004, 07:16:55 AM » |
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I looked in the fridge this morning and found an old package of Brie cheese that expired last month.
I opened the package.
I am going to vote
But did you eat it?  |
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« Last Edit: October 31, 2004, 07:26:49 AM by sincereheart »
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Shylynne
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« Reply #201 on: October 31, 2004, 04:28:22 PM » |
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why, would that get her two votes?
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.” — Joni Eareckson Tada There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God - Shylynne |
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sincereheart
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« Reply #202 on: November 01, 2004, 09:01:23 AM » |
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why, would that get her two votes?
Probably would mean that she'd get no vote! Being hospitalized for food poisoning on election day can do that to a person!  |
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Willowbirch
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« Reply #203 on: November 01, 2004, 04:14:36 PM » |
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why, would that get her two votes?
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"Man dreams and desires; God broods, and wills, and quickens."
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sincereheart
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« Reply #204 on: November 04, 2004, 09:57:56 AM » |
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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner and this one had an "Elect John Kerry" bumper sticker on it.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.
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Brother Love
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« Reply #205 on: November 09, 2004, 05:33:33 AM » |
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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner and this one had an "Elect John Kerry" bumper sticker on it.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.
LOVE IT++++++++++++++++++ Isn’t today a good day...
By placing our faith in Christ’s shed blood and nothing else, we can have eternal life. Isn’t today a good day to place your faith in Christ? There will never be a better time. In fact, there is no guarantee of another day. Trust Christ today.  |
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Shammu
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« Reply #206 on: November 11, 2004, 02:15:13 AM » |
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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner and this one had an "Elect John Kerry" bumper sticker on it.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.
[size=12] ROFL!![/size] Now thats funny, wonder why I didn't think of something like that! |
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sincereheart
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« Reply #207 on: November 11, 2004, 07:54:57 AM » |
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Sure makes me look forward to retirement, cause I was really dreading the whole golf thing! |
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Shammu
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« Reply #208 on: November 13, 2004, 01:32:53 PM » |
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Bumping out of empty space.
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Shylynne
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« Reply #209 on: November 13, 2004, 02:17:56 PM » |
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OUCH! watch it with that cane mister  |
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.” — Joni Eareckson Tada There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God - Shylynne |
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