Jest for laughs

[Shylynne]

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!  

[Shammu]

OUCH!  watch it with that cane mister  

Sorry I didn't see you there.

[Shylynne]

OUCH!  watch it with that cane mister  

Sorry I didn't see you there.

gonna getcha a seeing eye dog  

[Shammu]

OUCH!  watch it with that cane mister  

Sorry I didn't see you there.

gonna getcha a seeing eye dog  

Nope, cause I "Bumped" this thread outta olbivion. Or it would have disappered from the threads. Didn't you see the bump sign?

[Shylynne]

OUCH!  watch it with that cane mister  

Sorry I didn't see you there.

gonna getcha a seeing eye dog  

Nope, cause I "Bumped" this thread outta olbivion. Or it would have disappered from the threads. Didn't you see the bump sign?

Now all i`m seeing is yellow spots thanks!  

 

[Shylynne]

A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu.  The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road.  So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?"

The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever it is that Mom has."

oomph  

[Shylynne]

It`s all funny!
You girls are so somber!

[sincereheart]

There, there.... don't cry!  

 

[Shylynne]

There, there.... don't cry!  

 

       

[Shylynne]

Newlywed Bride: "Will you love me when I'm old?"

Newlywed Groom: "Love you? I shall idolize you. I shall worship the ground that you walk on. I shall.... errrr....uhhhhh..... You're NOT going to look like your mother, are you?"
 

 LOL!  

[Shylynne]

Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape.

The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!"

Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?"

"Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"


   

[Shylynne]

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.

One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it.

The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.

Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings."

"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.

"Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?" she asked!


 

[Shylynne]

Marriage

Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.

Judgin' from the specimens they pick for husbands, it's no wonder that brides often blush.

On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past... but never the present.

A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make beds, and is in good health...and he's already used to taking orders....

   

[nChrist]

Shylynne,

     Thanks Sister!  - I needed those laughs.

[Shammu]