Jest for laughs

[Shylynne]

A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"  She then prepared a bowl of soup.

Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner.  The pastor began to feel bad.  Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give.  Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

 

[nChrist]

     ROFL - Thanks Sister! - I needed that laugh!

[Soldier4Christ]

That one got my wife and son laughing, too.  

[Shylynne]

dats what we canucks call an air-head    

[Shylynne]

Todays Blessing

Peace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.

May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or Return it within a limited time frame.

May the mail you receive not require you to take action to prove Your love, friendship, or concern for the welfare of the sender.

May the mail you receive not start with Fw Fw Fw, not contain Strangely named attachments and contain a "<" for every ">".

May the mail you receive not require you to look closely at Those on the playground to see if they are the non-missing children You are to be searching for.

May the mail you receive not cause you to change Your eating habits to avoid plagues, pestilence and the eating Of parts of things that you can't buy at Wal-Mart.

May the mail you receive not encourage you to carry a steel Plate on which to sit in theaters or other public places.

May the mail you receive not encourage you to learn the 800 Number for the National Missing Child Bureau, Center for Disease Control or the FCC.

May your inaction to the mail you receive not cause the Death of monks, missionaries, mothers or the misguided.

And above all may peace and harmony be yours until Tomorrow.  

   

[nChrist]

 ;D

[nChrist]

The Diet Worked:

A blond is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
 
When the blond returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
 
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
 
The blond nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
 
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
 
"No, from skipping!"

 

[Shylynne]

In a small southern town I saw a wonderful nativity scene, but
one feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing
firemen's helmets. Unable to come up with a reason or
explanation, I left. At a convenience store on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!"

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything
about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.

Sticking it in my face, she said, "See, it says right here, 'The
three wise men came from afar!'"

 

[nChrist]

     I've been to afar before. It grows on you.    

[Shylynne]

Southern speak  so amuses me!  

[Shylynne]

Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.  

Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange and painful side effect from coffee.  I'm fine when I drink it black, but if I use cream, or sugar, or both, I get a stabbing pain in one eye."

Linda took a sip of her coffee.  "Oww!" she cried.  "There it goes again!"

Said Jill, "Take the spoon out of the cup."  

 

[nChrist]

   UG!! - It grows on you.  

[Shylynne]

UG!!?

[nChrist]

    

 

[Shylynne]

Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife, Sarah, was sitting at his bedside.  His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, Sarah continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.  Later he woke up and said, "You're cute."

"What happened to 'beautiful'?" Sarah asked.

"I guess the drugs must be wearing off," he replied.