any parents of the STRONG WILLED and REBELLIOUS child here?

OMGOSH...I can SO relate to this topic(it will explain why I haven't been on as much)...

First off, a bit of a difference...I'm dealing right now w/ TWO thirteen yo boys(20 days apart....one is mine and my husbands and the other is his from an ex g/f)....
Anyhow, my stepson came and lived w/ us in July...the planning has been going on since May/June. (we also have 2 daughters, 11 and 7)....
Let's see...my dh got a call from NY state (DCFS), stating that it was best for his son to get a fresh start and if we'd take him(I love how they treat kids like animals...NOT)...of course we would. (Previously, about 5 or so months b/f that, he (dh) rec'd a call from the mom, she was freaking b/c my stepson was busted at school for buying pot. He was also busted for breaking into cars, drinking, stealing cigarettes, etc...has a nasty temper, punches holes in walls, cusses out anyone, etc.
Sooooooo....July comes around, we get him. Things were wonderful for a couple weeks, then all holy heck broke out.
(oh yeah, we also rec'd in the mail that we were being sued for arrears from 1997 - present, not true, and she went onto state aide and child support had jumped to $515/month...and we were paying that even WITH him living w/ us!!!
OK...moving on...stealing from a store was involved, I took care of that w/ the manager, sucker punching my son in the back of the head, the back, kicking him in the chest and leaving marks, throwing him across the room(he has 50lbs on my son and about 7inches...hit my middle daughter, slammed her forward in the car twice, called names I can't even repeat, don't even want to....cussed me out, pushed me, threatenedme, called his dad a fag, told him I suck, this house sucks b/c we have rules, rules suck, if we loved him, we wouldn't discipline him, etc. The list goes on...my dh had to leave to take care of the court things...he was gone a week, and what a week that was. I've been lied to my face blatantly by him...from the beginning, called names a trucker would be ashamed of, etc. The ulcer flared up, started w/ the throwing up all over again, stress overtook me, and I handed that over to the Lord a WHILE ago!!! (during this time, my daughter broke her arm, my dh was severely burned and is STILL on w/c and can't walk normal ,and my aunt passed on...all w/in 8 days of each other)....
Anyhow, I kept trying to talk to him...he would scream, YOU HATE ME...and I said, no, I don't hate you , I love you, but I don't like you or your attitude. I DEMAND respect. He didn't care. I always drive by this one church, and when things were at their worst w/ my stress, the sign simply said, "Love conquers all"...I was like, I've TRIED that....but, I prayed about it long and hard, and I'm finally feeling the stress lift.
He has apologized to me, is starting to change his ways and conform, is bringing home passsing grades now(failed one subject, and just missed failing another last quarter), and he even apologized to my mom and step dad for what he said and did to them...on his own.
I know it takes a LOT of time, persistance and patience....and, of course, LOVE...as you show your daughter. I'm starting to see attitude from my 11 yo, she has fluctuated though since she was 6(when she was dx'd w/ diabetes) and her sugars just are going crazy w/ puberty. She also has a hard time w/ her halfbrother, the doctor labeled her w/ panic disorder b/c of all the chest pains she was experiencing and suggested counseling for us.
It's been quite the ride, and I pray to God all is finally settling down. I know I refuse to stress anymore, and faith and love is really all I need w/ this situation.

I understand it is a tad bit different than yours, but I can definitely relate to a strong willed and stubborn child!!!

Sorry this is so long winded!!!
God bless!!!