Is Love Selfish?

[nimble]

I was thinking about it and there isnt one instance of love where I dont benefit. If I am constantly gaining value, by loving someone, is that not selfish? Selflessness is where I sacrifice value and gain none. So if I gain anything by being in love, then it makes love a selfish thing.

[JudgeNot]

Think harder.  Your question/comment makes no sense.  You might as well be asking "is breathing selfish".

Humffph!

[nimble]

no, can you show me please, how it isnt selfish?

[JudgeNot]

I define love as 'giving'.  People give love.  How can you be selfish when you are giving something away?

[nimble]

because you are getting more in return, are you not? It is the equivalent of me GIVING you a 20 dollar bill, then getting a 100 dollar bill in return. How is that not selfish?

[JudgeNot]

Sorry, nimble.  I'll not get caught up in any of your anti-theist games.  I’m sure you are well versed in all of the anti-God rhetoric, and I’m also sure, for some reason known only to you and your cohorts, that it is great sport to attempt to disrupt Christian forums by revealing what you consider personal wisdom.  I’m not buying it; I recognize the difference between wisdom and mockery. I come to this forum to interact with Christians.  You aren’t one.  Maybe someone else will choose to play with you.
Adieu.

[nimble]

thanks for being helpful, your patience is appreciated

[nimble]

this is not anti-god rhetoric. It is a valid argument. I was merely inquiring, your insight? I have not insulted you. I have not mocked you. I have not even acted in a manner which would demean you or your beliefs, so why are you evading the question? I dont understand your reaction.

[Xtreme]

If you truly give, you will not expect anything in return. Then if you do get something back it is not being selfish. However, if you give with a greedy heart not worrying about how you give, or what you give, or who you give it to, and just worry about what will get in return, that is being selfish. In the aspect of love, love is not selfish, so if you are truly in love you will care more about that other person than yourself, even if you do get something back. However, if you care more about yourself than that other person, it was not love in the first place. Love is a two part thing, so a man and a woman must love eachother more than themselves. If a man loves a woman, but she doesn't love him back, and visa versa, then it's not true love. But if the two are truly in love they can rest assured that they will get something in return, even if they don't expect anything.

Praise Jesus, The Lamb of God!
Xtreme

[nimble]

If i know i love the person to whom i am giving, then I know that I will always benefit in the long run. Its hard to avoid that fact. I can try to ignore that, so that I may give not knowing that i will receive, but ultimately it is unavoidable. Just being in their prescence is a value to me...and will be of more value than any thing i can give.

[Gracey]

If i know i love the person to whom i am giving, then I know that I will always benefit in the long run.

Yes, but does the other person benefit from the love you give? It does go both ways.

The bible also reminds us to love those who don't love us; to love our enemies. Jesus loves those who don't first love him.

Just being in their prescence is a value to me...and will be of more value than any thing i can give.

...and value to the person you also love.

There is nothing wrong in receiving. But why do you love? Do you love because you know you will get something back? Do you know why you love? How do you know when you love something you will something back? Sometimes you don't (unreciprocated love).

1Co 13:4  Love has patience, is kind; love is not envious; love is not vain, is not puffed up;
1Co 13:5  does not behave indecently, does not pursue its own things, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;
1Co 13:6  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth.
1Co 13:7  Love quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Peace
Gracey

[Heidi]

Love is wanting what's best for others even if it means we will be hated for it. That means caring about their souls even if they themselves don't care about them. What's best for everyone is God's love.

[bluelake]

Love is selfish if your always taking.  
Are you giving or taking?

bluelake

[Aiki Storm]

Love always has benefits.  If you were really this distressed over whether or not your love was selfish, you may not know love.  Do you?    Look at the greatest love known.  Jesus died for us and paid an aweful price for us because He loved us.  He gained (as far as I am aware) children that will worship Him forever.  

[digme]

my real name is sam.  i don't usually post here, but regularly read what others struggle with and what others respond, and i am always amazed... this question though, has forced me to jump in.... it is the most simple and the most brilliant in my mind, because of the implications.  Contrary to what others have thought about the intent of the question, it is a legitimate christian question.  and i have thought deeply about this question for a long time.  Here is the most profound answer that i came with:

a) all three are God, my Father, My savior the Son, and The indwelling The Spirit -  you don't believe this you might want to refer to other threads

b) all three are coexistent, co-equal, different roles
c) Jesus commissioned himself to die for the sin of the world - famous canonization passage in Phillipians illuminates that point

here is the most important part of all of these things:

- Our Lord savior was in love affair with the Holy Spirit and God the Father, for God would not be love if they were not in Holy Communion, for Love would not be defined.

- when Jesus Christ died on the cross, that Love broke for a moment when the wrath of God was upon the Son.  And that my brethren i believe, was what terrified my savior more than the torture, more than the humiliation and the treason.  Lord Jesus Christ never experienced that separation from God the Father and the Holy Spirit until He carried our sins on those two pieces of timber, and He knew it that at that moment there was going to be that separation from the communion he so ever much enjoyed with the The other two memebers (for a lack of a better word) of the Trinity (which we will never know until we fully experience the trinity in heaven) which Lord Jesus in infinity had never experienced. THAT IS LOVE!

Love is defined by that experience of Jesus Christ - it might be hard for us, it sure was for me when i came to this conclusion at first- but think of it- God is the essence of all beings, all good things. What me may know of love in this life and form, God has multifold experiences of that.  That is Perfect Love, for that Love trusted the Father, even in his God-ness that for a moment of that Separation of the communion- which was unpredictable to him( at least this is what I think) - He had to rely on God the father.  ALL LOVE THAT EMENATES FROM THAT IS TRUE LOVE!

my friend, read this and mull over all the other love descripitons about intent too....

I most probably will never post again or most probably not respond to this too- (unless i see my hurt burns and churns within me, for i am in tears now.... God bless you guys and gals in your faith... we need us to start to weep for the world and the pain that we see left and right.......