Hi All,
You know, there are women who I feel terrible about. Their husband is like an additional child. He brings home the paycheck AFTER he stops at the bar. Any chance to run away and escape responsibility WILL be taken advantage of. The wife has to hold the man to his responsibilities. She's got to make every decision in the house--plus, she has an additional child who has full control of all the household's money plus a driver's license. He does not take a lead in the household. None. He thinks he's a good father because the kids love him best because he's their best friend--he never scolds or disciplines. The disciplinarian is the mom. It's a terrible terrible situation. In no way am I ever going to begin to say this is the way things should be.
The mom has to carry the whole weight. Then there's also families where the mom is some sort of lazy person that doesn't know how to use a broom. You go over to their house and there's not a full square inch of carpeting without some sort of grime or crud on it. It's disgusting. And the husband is no where to be found until the paycheck is gone. And there's another baby on the way. This world isn't a right place. I do agree with the Word in the way that God ordained families to be. But in this world, it's not always that way. People that need help need help in the place that they are at.
Thought I would point that out.
My point is, I'm not arguing with the scriptures, but I think that women in communities make a big difference in places where people need role models and guidance. Women lead by the Holy Spirit can make a difference in many people's lives.
So, I guess I'm saying these things because its not about arguing what the ideal thing is, its about living in the world. We can sit in our lofty places and say all kinds of words, but what we want to do is LIVE OUT HIS LOVE. We want to LIVE OUT what we know. We want to interpret the scriptures with our lives and not just with our minds.
Peace
Candice,
I can relate with what you said. My first marriage was exactly like that. I believed that it was my DUTY to stay with him no matter how bad it got and things got really, really bad. I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally. I was one of those wives that felt like I had to do whatever he said I had to do no matter what it was or who it hurt. He was one of those husbands that wanted a wife and children at home but wanted to be able to do the "single guy" thing. It didn't matter how much I pryed for him. My mother's words that she said to him came crashing down one day when he abused me with my kids in my arms. Se when, I was barely 18, she told him he was satan himself. He laughed and said, "Yep, you found me out." At the time, I ignored what she said. 10 years later, and still trying to get away from him, I believe that he isn't rightw ith God by no means and follows satan's wishes.
To make matters worse, I remarried almost 3 years ago. At the time, my husband was a Christain. Notice, I said "at the time." After about a year, he started resorting to pills and alcohol. I soon found myself in a place where I felt like I was rasing another child. We have 6 kids between us. 4 that are mine and 2 that are his kids but we claim each otehr's kids as our own. Not like I didn't have enough children to raise but to raise a grown man on top of it (that's how I felt). After a year of trying to solve the problems on my own by limiting his money, the amount of time that he was alone with the car, trying to watch every move that he made, and several fights over me being too controlling, I decided that it was in our best interest to turn the problems over to God and let him deal with them instead of me. Once I did that, my husband saw where he was wrong asked me for help and is currently getting the Godly help that he has needed for a long time. I have noticed a BIG change in him over the past 7 months that I attribute solely to God. We still have a ways to go until our family is completely reunited but when that day comes, we will have a great testimony to share of how satan riped our family apart but God put it back together again.
God Bless You,
Christina
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