I have an issue i need desperate advice on. My heart is wondering what to do. My girlfriend Tammi and i of one year have been arguing over something. I dont like how she sometimes says hi to ex-boyfriends at times or looks at other guys. I just get so mad and feel not good enough and disrespected. It was 2 weeks ago. We were texting back and forth from our cell phones. I was telling her how i dont feel respected and after more back and forth arguing our arguement escalated until i just felt so mad i just lost it and told her that she should just go see other guys and i broke up with her. I didnt want to break up but i was just acting foolish. So she didnt respond back until the next day and said she was severely heartbroken because she felt i didnt love her. She said she was so hurt that she thought about doin drugs or killing herself. And i apologized and tried to tell her i was just mad and snapped and acted foolish. I tried to get back together but she said she needed time to think.
So a few days later i text her sister to see how she was doing and i had this weird intuition that she was seeing another guy so i asked her sister. She said she thinks she is seeing a guy at work. So i felt horrible. I finally talked to Tammi and she said they were just friends. But 2 days later she said he asked her out and she was thinkin about it. My heart dropped!!!!! I was wondering why she even THOUGHT about it because she loved me so much. I asked if she liked him and she said she had feelings but they werent strong. She said "it was your fault to tell me to see other guys when u put me out there with a broken ,open heart". I said " i didnt mean date or get serious. I meant just go on a dinner date to see whats out there and compare me to guys to see if you were missing anything so you could maybe appreciate me more. And i dont understand how she could be interested in another so fast after we dated for a year. Anyways, we had a long talk face to face and she looked pale and very depressed. I knew i had broke her heart like never before. I asked if anything happened between them. She admitted to sleeping with him but said right after they began she started crying and had to stop.
And now we decided we arent going to date for a while. We do love each other and i feel we both want to get back together. I told her that i do forgive her and i will give her time. She said she wasnt going to get serious with anybody,just date around. I said " If you went that far once i think you will do it again." Im scared she will get serious with other people. Now we havent talked in a few days. Im trying to give her time to think and hopefully realize i do love her to death. Its killling me not to be with her.
MY QUESTION IS THIS..... If she does decide she really wants to be with me, should i forgive her and let her come back?
? I mean, i understand how people get vulnerable and try to fill a void in their heart with sex or drugs but i dont want to excuse her VERY WRONG actions!!!! We all have self-control right?
Is it excusable the way she lost her self-control or did it out of spite or what?
I mean, i can look at this 2 ways. Some people say "Kick her to the curb because she did you wrong!!!" But on the flip side i feel like i really want to forgive her and let her come back because we all make mistakes. And some are bigger than others. Thats what forgiveness is right?
WHAT SHOULD I DO??? WHAT SHOULD BE MY NEXT STEPS FROM HERE?
? PLEASE HELP!!!!!