wow, this is a very personal, very powerful thread
Tabitha,
my heart is touched by your story. I too was abused. The prior post which I wrote contains the things that I have done to seek to forgive. As I was reading the posts, I was reminded of things forgiven and I think you are right, forgiving the harder ones, like rape and murder, help forgive the simpler.
I'd like to encourage you to consider what you might need to further heal. Since I don't know you, my thoughts may not be relevant. But when I was overwhelmed by the emotional pain and oppression caused from my past, I sought out Christian women who would pray for me. I remember one time calling someone on the phone while in tears and just asking them to read the Bible to me. I knew I was a baby asking for the milk of the word, but sometimes getting ministered to like that helped me. (I still love it

After taking the painful memories to God over and over and over and over, I finally can honestly say that there is freedom in Jesus Christ.
Actually, I am amazed!

because I see God's priniciples working in my life in many areas and on many levels. So I just cannot say enough good stuff about praying, praising God, and crying out to Him. He has become so close to me. It's amazing. I feel like a changed woman. I hope it is okay to testify like this. I really am boasting in the Lord. I always wanted closeness with God and I have found it in prayer, praise and worship--even in crying out in anguish--He is there. Praise God!

I hope that you can smile even though the thoughts of what happened may be painful. You are never alone when abiding in the lifechanging word of God. He lives in your praises.
Dreamweaver, there is a song sung by Michael John Poirier called "Love is Stronger." Before I became a Christian, about ten years ago because I've been a Christian for six years, I heard him sing this song. I loved it so much and it has always reminded me of my family in Texas.
They found that my nephew was murdered by drug dealers. Since I don't live near Texas, I couldn't go with them, but they went to court and went through all that.
I know it was the love of Jesus that has kept my parents in Christ's mind and heart toward the murderers. I wish I could send you the beautiful melody, but I can key in the lyrics. Be blessed, Big Bro.
LOVE IS STRONGER
In the early hours, the telephone rang
shattering peaceful dreams
A precious life was taken in the night
police report said "Homicide"
Drunks at the wheel, theives who kill, a lover's fatal fight
leave the families of the victims, still reaching for the light
Why God, must there be such evil in this world?
Why God must there be such sorrow?
And the courtroom technicalities desecrate our memories
The family versus the accused
every lawyer has his job to do
While the anger rages how do we turn the other cheek?
How do we love despite the evil done?
How do we forgive the guilty one?
Why God, must there be such evil in this world?
Why God, must there be such sorrow?
Why God, must there be such evil in this world?
Why God, and how do we face tomorrow?
O MY grieving child, the choice is yours to make:
to forgive or lose everything to hate
Come and let me hold you through the anger and the pain
I'll show you love is stronger,
love will conquer,
love will never fail
Let ME give you grace to fight the evil in this world
strength to forgive and carry on
I'll hold you through the anger and the pain
and show you love is stronger,
love will conquer
love will never fail
Love is stronger
love will conquer
love will never fail
MY love is stronger...
MY love will conquer...MY love will never fail.
Dreamweaver, I feel I must tell you the songwriter lost his grandmother to murder. I am confident that he wrote and sang the song from his experience and heartfelt forgiveness.
May we, all of us, learn to forgive.
selahjoy*