My Story

[Kristi Ann]

Hiya Everyone!!           January 31, 2004                                      
"My Story"


 I was born in California in 1960 north from San Francisco. This is my story below.

Doctors discovered my birth defect Pectus Excavatum right after I was born. I don't remember the doctors or the hospitals I was taken too. I know my mother told me I was taken to Shriners Hospital and others before I could remember anything.  My mother and father moved from Northern, California in 1964 to Southern, California. My daddy took a higher paying job and their were better prospective hospitals in Southern, California in 1964.  I had to wear a  special T brace from age 2 to five, I also had to do special exercises rocking back and forth while holding my ankles with my hands while on my chest. I wasn't allowed to ride a bicycle at all until 1968 or 1969.  Wonderful doctors at Los Angeles Orthopaedic Hospital Foundation treated me so nice and gentle. Well, 1965 came around, many x-rays, more than I care to remember, brrrrrrr, it was cold in there. My one wonderful, loving doctor, Dr. Bruer operated on me in 1965 at the Los Angeles Orthopaedic Hospital . My center Sternum Bone was Fused to my Back Bone when I was born. I missed a lot of school in  Kindergarten . I remember to this day 39 years ago today, nurses rolling me into a big room, I asked my doctor what the big light was for, he said "It will make you go to sleep sweetie". I don't remember the surgery to well, thank goodness! What I do remember is me laying in my hospital bed looking down at myself laying there with all this machines hooked up to me, and my mother and father crying. I now know what I was seeing. My mother told me much later in my life the hospital kept me unconscious for three or four days after my surgery. So, I must have left my body and watched them and myself. It's no wonder I believe in God (Daddy) from then on!  I spent a long arduous road healing in 1965. I don't remember how long I was in the hospital; I do know it was a long time though.  My pin came out of my chest in 1966 or 1967, I got an ambulance ride to the hospital, kewl, and I didn't feel any pain. I truly thought my mother poured ketchup on me . The pin had threads on it so it would work its way out all by itself. My mother still has my baby book with the pin and my wrist band in it to this day! Anyhow, I was put to sleep again so Dr. Bruer could remove my pin. This pin was inserted into my chest bones to help keep them steady from clasping back in again. I had to wear a special made brace from 1965 to 1968 around my chest area. After I seen my doctor again in 1968, he gave me the go ahead so I could have a bicycle now. I was elated, and so happy I could have a bicycle now!! I got to pick the any bicycle I wanted at the Schwinn dealer; it was a happy day for me!!! As I was growing up, I had pains in my chest bones. The doctors said it's because I was growing.  

In 1995 I contracted pneumonia and had x-rays done on my chest again. The doctor told me after I got better; he wanted to show me something I had no idea what it was either. After I got well, the doctor showed me my x-rays and explained I had wires in my center sternum bones. As I looked at them and showed him my birth defect he then knew why the wires were there for. I had no idea, not even my mother knew I had stainless steel wires holding my chest bones together still. I was shocked myself to know I had those wires within me still. My doctor explained to me they were probably put there to hold my chest together while I was healing. Plus he told me they are deeply imbedded with in my sternum bones that it's impossible to remove them. I am happy now I'm alive to this day I thank God for helping me through my life. I wrote this poem for my personal feelings and my birth defect below.

My Heart Poem

Be careful with my heart,
I gave it to you for safe keeping,
It's a very fragile and weak heart that gets hurt real easy,
Why is this too be,
My heart was a nice heart,
Ask my doctors who moved my heart and lungs around,
God only knows why my heart hurts all so bad,
Trusting, Believing, and safe satisfaction that someone will take care of it,
My heart believes in Love and Security,
Caring of others to no end,
Why is my heart so low and sad,
It will heal in time,
With ever-loving tender kindness,
Please be kind to my Heart,
It Loves you too no end.

Copyright ©
March 11th, 2001
KristiAnn

Update 2004; Sad news now. I have arthritis in my rib cage, and have to take special medications to help control my pain. I believe everything happens for a purpose in our lives. I am awaiting Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) from the Social Security Administration (SSA). I am disabled due my pain and a non operable herniated disk in my neck. I have a lawyer fighting my case with the (SSA) because; the (SSA) turned me down twice so far. My attorney is fighting my case on contingency, thus meaning I don't pay him anything unless I win my case. I have faith in God and believe He will help me through this. My Past was taken care of, so my future will be as well.


Blessings,  \o/

MsGuidedAngel

PS... Depression, I thee wed...  

[Kristi Ann]

I don't mind questions at all, this how we support and learn of each other YaY! I am so happy I took vocational tying in high school, tee hee.. My mother always took me too a Baptist Church while I was young. My mother is a good Christian YaY! I learned so much in the 1960s from attending Church. I truly loved Vacation Bible School woo hoo! My Earthly daddy never went to Church, he was very bitter for some reason or another about Church. It wasn't until later in his life, that he told my mother, "Do you believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit". Well, this over-joyed my mother and I, so many years of praying, God answers prayers in His timing not ours. Only at this time my Earthly daddy had cancer of the rectum, colon, plus Lou Gehrigs disease. The Lou Gehrigs took my daddys mobility, and the when the cancer spread to his liver, it was very painful. One day while my mother was getting the mail and newspaper last year February 26th, 2003. The Post Office Box and newspaper is 7 miles from where they live in very Northern California. At this time my daddy was in a wheelchair because of the Lou Gehrigs disease. My daddy used to be an avid out doors man, hunting, raising horses. My mother and father lived so remotely in Very Northern California, near Eureka, California. That it usually takes 45 minutes to drive and get the mail and newspaper. While my mom was gone, my daddy rolled himself out too the middle room where his gun reloading bench was, he used my mothers .357 revolver and shot himself in the head, he committed suicide because of the cancer and Lou Gehrigs, both were Very painful. I live in Very Northern, Oregon is a city called Gresham, Oregon. A Deputy Medical Examiner came and gave me the news of what happened around 8:30pm. A Deputy Medical Examiner came and gave me the news. I had a lot of grief over this; my Earthly daddy and I were estranged from each other. We didn't talk to each other for four years. I wanted too, however he wouldn't talk to me. I am an only child of my mother and father, which hurt me a lot. What hurt my mother and I the most, we both didn't get to say goodbye to my daddy. My mother found my daddy on the floor when she came home with the mail and newspaper in a pool of blood. My mother and father were married 45 years! Not being able to call me because she was very upset about this (which, I understand). The Deputy Medical Examiner had to give me the news about my daddy. I had a job then and my employer wouldn't give me emergency time off from work. I couldn't sleep that night and I had to be at work at 9:30am that morning. A good friend of mine in Oregon came to stay with me to calm me down. I thank God for friends like her! It's a little more than a year later; my mother gets grief therapy in a support group. I haven't had any yet, I believe God has helped me with my grief. Thank God for taking this from me!! My mother and I see it this way. Since my Earthly daddy professed his Faith, my mom and I see him in Heaven, New Body, no more pain and whole again, most of all smiling. Sorry for the long story.

I Love God, when I had no daddy on Earth, I grabbed onto my Heavenly Father God (Daddy). Thank God for Jesus and the Holy Spirit, YaY! Woo hoo!

I sometimes question God about my suffering and pain. Jesus answered the question His Disciples Him about the blind man from birth, Jesus said this below;


John 9:1-4

1 AND as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.

5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

Holy Bible -- King James Version


He gives me this answer which I love called Footprints in the sand below;

Footprints in the Sand

One night a woman had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes of her life. For each scene, she noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to her, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that many times along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in her life.

This really bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I Love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."


I have a lot of Faith in God (Daddy) He loves me for how I am no matter how I look . He takes care of me all the time. I have seen it, when I think all is lost He comes and tells me Sweetie; I am in Control, Please Trust in Me! Oh I do Trust in God, thank God for Jesus!!

I love all my Sisters forever and ever. How can I have this love?! God says for me too;

John 15:12-17

12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.


Holy Bible -- King James Version


Darlins Love is all embracing; "God's infinite Wisdom". YaY! God is in Control even when I feel like I control things He says woe young lady, Stop remember Me, uh huh, Thanks for the reminder! One of the Greatest Attributes God gave me (everyone) is learning YaY. God might have given me the smarts, but He is in the drivers Seat!


Love Always & Forever,

MsGuidedAngel

[Kristi Ann]

I might have rods in my back, I am not sure about anything anymore.

I am not feeling very happy right now at all, I feel like crying, having no income for more than a year has hurt me very badly.  It's the Social Security Administration (SSA) and the US Government that make me angry and hurt. The USA can spend billions of dollars on Iraq and not much for the disabled here in the US.

The USA has hurt me so bad I cannot even explain how. I don't feel like living right now, it's hard when I feel the US Government don't care.

My depression is so deep, I don't know what to do sometimes, and cannot think straight either.  I feel lost and hopeless, and am loosing my knowledge that I have carried with me for so many years.

Oh, I am not the Poster of the Legal Advice, my room-mate is. When I moved to this board from Sudden Launch, I transferred a lot of posts from there.  I know nothing of legal stuff at all.

Maybe I need grief theapy for loosing my daddy to suicide and then loosing my job right after that. Plus maybe new anti-depressents as well. I have been on 100mg of Zoloft for amost four years now.

I am very tired, and need to rest........

[Kristi Ann]

To add more to my depressing story. My Jeep Grand Cherokee license tags expires August 23rd, 2004.  I have no money to pay for car insurance, nor to re-register my Jeep for another two years.  And the renewal is only $54.00.

This means I cannot drive anywhere, I cannot get my Zoloft, my Trazodone, or my pain killers Vicondin, nor my others meds by myself anymore.  I blame the SSA for NOT getting my SSDI claim in order.  Again, President Bush can spend billions of dollars on Iraq and we (The Disabled) awaiting SSDI or SSI hearings don't get one red cent!!! Is this fair NOT!!!!!!!

We need new leadership in office that cares for the USA! We need an Health Care Overhaul, Social Security Administration OVERHAUL!!! and many more!  

I haven't been outside in a month, I have no energy, or drive to do anything anymore.  My initiative is gone, thanks to the SSA, and the Bush administration!!

Blah, blah, blah, Me a Broken Record that is so broken I cannot think what to say new anymore.  I might have to leave my Board for awhile and let the moderators take over. I have nothing to do, but to Administrate Kristi Ann's Haven. I haven't written one of my Poems for along time now.  Where is my Muse (Angel) when I need her signing in my ears, where is she tonight, I want to be as bright, please my Angel stay, I need you to play for me a song or two..............

Blessings,  

MsGuidedAngel

[Kristi Ann]

I had too buy myself w/ my tax return a walker, because I am too unstable to walk with a cane anymore. The walker helps me stay stable and it's made by Nova, the same people that makes my cane above. My herniated disk in my neck makes me unstable, plus I get really bad headaches lately.  Below are pictures of the one I bought, it only weights 12lbs, it's one of Nova ligthest models. I love the basket for my purse, it takes pressure off my neck. Mine is dark blue, blue is my favorite colors YaY.





I thank God for giving me something I can walk w/ better! I'm really depressed lately too. However Church yesterday really put me in a good mood. Hopefully they have a Wednesday night service. Going to Church and being able to Praise Jesus helps me a lot!


KristiAnn

[Kristi Ann]

I am getting major migraine headaches from my non-operable herniated disk in my neck, I took two Vicodins yesterday.

My Story is in desperate need of Prayer, Because I am in so Deep Depression over being severely Disabled and not having any income for more than a year..  


hurting in Oregon,

KristiAnn

[jive4005]

Lord... Abba, please bless this saint today. Be her way-maker. Show the world Your power, greatness and love... thru her. Let Your healing powers manifest in her life. Grant her family and friends a new song of victory that they might sing it to her! Strengthen and empower, save and renew, in Jesus' name, amen

Deke

[Kristi Ann]

From MsKathy one of my moderators at Kristi Ann's Haven.....



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


I'm placing Kristi Ann on the prayer list, but I want to start letter writing, emailing campaign for her benefit.

Kristi was born with a rare disorder in which her breast bone was fused to her backbone. She has several surgeries on her chest. As you can imagine her organs are displaced and she has difficulty breathing. She is often in pain and has difficulty walking without a cane. Kristi still takes time to work on her Christian web forum and she's an inspiration to all who visit KristiAnn's Haven ( http://ka7.proboards30.com/ ). Some days she is in such pain that we do not hear from her.

The obscurity of SSI decisions is that she is not disabled and cannot receive help for her meds (she takes anti-depressants and pain meds)or income. She has not worked nor been able to in over a year. She has written her state rep for help as she has lost her apartment and now lives with a friend who did not want to see her put out on the streets.

I asked Kristi for the address of the Social Security office where she applied and for the local media in her area.
I'm asking that we bombard these places with Kristi's story.
I will look up the TV station addresses on line and list them in this thread. If you should locate them before I do please feel free to post them here. Meanwhile here is the info she was able to give me:

Social Security Office of Portland
2625 S.E. 98th Ave.
Portland, OR 97266

MEDIA
TV Stations:

KATV Channel 2 ABC
KOIN Channel 6 CBS
KGW Channel 8 NBC
OPB Oregon Public Broadcasting

She also gave me this as the name of the Newspaper:
   
The Oregonian Newspaper

Disability Resources Oregon is the rehab agency. I will be looking for the addresses as well.

Meanwhile, read Kristi's "My Story" at her forum and write to these agencies to help her.

Thanks and stay blessed.

[Shammu]

I have added you to the prayer list I have started, MGA.
http://forums.christiansunite.com/index.php?board=8;action=display;threadid=4713

[Kristi Ann]

I have added you to the prayer list I have started, MGA.
http://forums.christiansunite.com/index.php?board=8;action=display;threadid=4713

Thank You!!!! DreamWeaver

[Kristi Ann]

Depression I thee Wed, I am tired all the time........


I am very tired right now.  My depression does to me; I am so sad right now.

My room-mate I am staying with right now.  She thinks she is a Christian, when she goes to Church she is different.  When she comes home she is NOT a Christian at all. She is into Pornography and thinks Bestiality is okay too. YUCK!!

I am trying to count my Blessings Staying here until I get my Social Security Disability Income. It's very hard on me though.  Once I do get my SSDI, I am moving out on my alone to Astoria, Oregon.  I need to be alone with God and me again.  I DO NOT like my room-mates anger at the World at all anymore.  I feel like I am walking on egg shells all the time now.

I am so unhappy with the Social Security Administration because they are taking a too long to get my hearing for my SSDI in order!!!!  I have been waiting for more than one year and this is making very depression and sad.

I gave my heart to God along time ago, I trust Him to keep me safe through all I am going through.  It's no fun to have Stainless Steels wires holding your rib cage at all.  Plus, I have Rods in my back where they removed my sternum bone.  I have a non-operable Herniated Disk in my upper Neck. I walk with a walker now, because of two bad knees.  I have arthritis in my whole body now.  I have lived in pain since birth; I would rather be in Heaven right now in no more PAIN!  It's not fun to take Vicodin for my pain everyday, and in Oregon, I can get arrested for taking this while I am driving I have heard.  I know it's a narcotic and I am very careful with this. I don't drink, never smoked, nor ever took drugs.  I couldn't smoke even if I tried; it would kill me, because I have very weak lungs from the doctors operating on them, plus my heart too. Even if I got hit by someone in my center sternum bone, my rib cage would collapse in and I would die from this.


Crying in Oregon  

Love Always,

KristiAnn
AKA
MsGuidedAngel

[sincereheart]

I don't mind questions at all,
I have some.....

my Earthly daddy and I were estranged from each other.
I think I read somewhere that he had disowned you. Why?

...and then loosing my job right after that.
What kind of work did you do and why did you lose your job?

My Jeep Grand Cherokee....
With no money, how did you get the vehicle?

Bush....
How did Bush cause your problems?

My room-mate I am staying with right now.
Did she move in with you? Or did you move in with her?

When she comes home she is NOT a Christian at all.


I am so unhappy with the Social Security Administration because they are taking a too long to get my hearing for my SSDI in order!!!!
How long does it normally take?

Praying for you!  

[Kristi Ann]

I don't mind questions at all,
I have some.....

my Earthly daddy and I were estranged from each other.
I think I read somewhere that he had disowned you. Why?

...and then loosing my job right after that.
What kind of work did you do and why did you lose your job?

My Jeep Grand Cherokee....
With no money, how did you get the vehicle?

Bush....
How did Bush cause your problems?

My room-mate I am staying with right now.
Did she move in with you? Or did you move in with her?

When she comes home she is NOT a Christian at all.


I am so unhappy with the Social Security Administration because they are taking a too long to get my hearing for my SSDI in order!!!!
How long does it normally take?

Praying for you!  

My daddy was not happy when I divoced and then like me at this at all.  He believe my Ex and not me at all.  My mother found out this year my Ex lies and she don't talk to him at all amymore!!

My mom and I have always been close, even when My daddy disowned me!!

I was a onsite manager for a big mini storage, I went over my duties to help people and bring the property from the bottom to the top in the district.  My district manager did Not like me and wrote me up for things when I was at my daddy funeral and when I flew down to help my mother spread my daddys ashes.  I was disabled when I was working, however I refused to think I was, that part was my own fault.  Being written up for things I did Not do was Not my Fault!!

I own the Jeep Grand Cherokee outright, I don't owe a dime for it.  I sold my Ex husbands wood-working tools for $1500.00, I then got car insurace for my 1995 Jeep and Registered it for another two years in Oregon.

The only thing I blame the Bush Administration is for spending more money over seas to protect their investments, instead of him helping the USA out.  The Bush Administration and the Social Security Administration need Overhauls Badly!!!

I had to move in with her, otherwise I would be homeless on the streets.  The reason I said when she comes home she is Not a Christian, this is because of anger, pornogphy and more, and don't act the same at home at Church!

I wish, I knew how long the Social Security Administration took!!!!  I have been moneyless for more than one year now. I got an attorney in December 2003 for my SSDI, to help me fight for it.  The doctor I just seen for my Neurologist appointments asked my right off if I had an attorney, I told him yes for my SSDI.

Here is more below about my Neurologist Doctor's Appointment;


I am sorry I haven't been around here everyone.  


I had my Neurologist appointment today at 8:45AM and just got back home at 8PM.  The doctor found out as I already knew, I am right handed and am weaker on my whole right side, my left arm is a lot stronger than my right!!  I don't have much feeling on my right side of my body at all. They X-Rayed my neck two side profiles, one back and one right through my mouth.  I was shown the X-Rays by the Very nice female X-ray tech.  I knew what I had seen before, but now it's worse.  Just with X-rays you can clearly see my herniated disk in the upper part of my neck.  Now I am going to have my thrid MRI on my neck, then an electrical test with very small needles to test my muscles all over my body.  I did NOT take a pain pill (Vicodin) before I seen this very nice Neurologist Doctor.  I took one after I left there and another Vicodin pain pill just now at 8:10PM.  I cannot even Raise my right arm up very high without it feeling like someone is putting a knife in my shoulder joints, it hurts that much.  My room-mate has to help dress me now as I cannot do this for myself to much at all.

So, Please Everyone, DO enjoy Kristi Ann's Haven while I am gone. If you have any questions please do ask anyone of my Moderators and they will help you the best they can.  Everyone knows MsGuidedAngel is me KristiAnn the Main Administrator of Kristi Ann's Haven, but not many people know webmistress is me to KristiAnn as well.  I am looking for promote one of my Moderators to my Second in charge to Administrator, while I am gone.  I would ask that someone be here at Kristi Ann's Haven to help Moderate and Post the C.H. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening Devotional in the Bible Study while I am gone.  I will help you how I do this!!  Please all Moderators do not delete posts without talking to me First!!!   The new Promoted Administrator, All I ask is that you would leave all the Headers and Footers alone.

I am going to go through some Very Stressful tests soon on my entire body.  So , please bear with me while I am away!!  I hurt a lot in pain, that it tires me out very easy.


I am Severely Disabled and Depressed at the sametime.  This is NOT satan doing this, it's how I was born with most all my aliments!!  It's no fun being born with a breast bone fused to my back bone.  Now I am facing even more surgeries on all my spinal cord areas and chest rib cage areas....

Hurting in Oregon,  

KristiAnn
AKA
MsGuidedAngel

[Kristi Ann]

Up and Coming Tests


Coming this October 5th, 2004 starting at 9AM Pacific Standard time. I will have my Third MRI on my Neck then afterwards an electrical test of all my muscles with small needles to find out why I am loosing feeling from my entire right side. I am getting migraine headaches everyday, and taking my pain meds for my pain management.

I am facing more surgeries on my chest and back now my neck and knees too. My arthiris has been making me super tired lately. I am also forgetting a lot of things too .. hmmmm..

I know God Loves me, I am super tired of my pain since birth. I want to go to Heaven, But, I truly think God is Not finished with me yet. So for now, I am Hangin around till Heaven Bound.

Blessings, \o/

KristiAnn
MsGuidedAngel

   

[Kristi Ann]

Hello Everyone,

I am numb
Current Mood: sad


I had my third MRI today and now I have fourth MRI this Friday again. My Herniated is Very bad and they want to more check it again. My bad disk is the second down from my brain and it's really bad. They are going to do more MRI for me Neck and my Back where my breast bone that was fused to my back and my lower back too.

I am mad at the Oregon Health Plan right now, when I went for my other two doctor’s tests and my electromiligram. The receptionist checked with the secretary, and when they checked to my Oregon Health Plan online, it’s said that I did not my Health Plan! I was mad that about, so now I have to get too the office when in Gresham, Oregon to pickup temporally card. Then I can have more doctors and long MRI long for my sprial cord for were my breast bone was fused to my back and my lower back as a well, and my electromiligram this Friday October 8th 2004 at 9AM in the morning again in downtown Portland, Oregon.

When I seen my MRI today for my bad Herniated disk, its worse now. I took a Vicodin before my test at my breakfast this morning. The nurse gave me wheelchair to my MRI and they had to put something around my neck and another strap to hold my head and neck in the right position. This took an hour today, and they put headphones on me instead of ears plugs. So, I listen music that made me relax when I was in the tunnel MRI. After that, I had to take another Vicodin for my pain. Now I am really tired and need to rest for a few days.



I am Very Moody


I've not had my Zoloft for three days now, I have been taking 100mg of Zoloft since 1999, and this is the first time I have not had it.  

I just cried when my mother called me from California just now. I am tired of pain since birth, I don't want anymore!!!!!!!!


I am cying  


Today my room-mate seen that someone use keys and scratched my drives side of my 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee!!



Love Always, \o/

KristiAnn
MsGuidedAngel