Hello everyone---
To answer a few of your questions:
I have a psychologist I see, as I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I saw him when I was in the hospital in December, when I tried to kill myself, and he has become my doctor. It just so happens that he is also a Christian, and has really been helping me get my faith back. He said to me last nite at my session, "Rachel, there are so many people that I see that don't have what you have, a faith to build on," something like that he said. It made me think. It is a blessing that I found him, there are only 3 doctors in MN that practice the e and rp therapy that is used for OCD, and he is only 15 miles away, praise God!
Today I am really very numb. I don't have much feelings about anything, really. And maybe that is okay, cuz then I don't have to be in despair, even if it only lasts for a day.
I want to tell you that I am so blessed by the way you care for me. I see you all trying to help me, and giving me help, and Scripture and prayers. Please know that I take all your stuff very seriously. I appreciate what you have given me. Can I ask you something? Can you hang with me till I get over this slump? I may not be able to do the things you tell me to do yet, but I have them in my mind. I want to kneel at His feet and ask forgiveness, and give Him my burdens. I just can't right now, but I know it will be coming soon.
Please don't give up on me. I am awake now, just gotta "get dressed".
God bless all of you,
Rachel
Rachel,
Thanks for your post. We won't give up on you. Don't you give up on yourself. You will get free. Do you hear me? You WILL get free, girl. With Jesus on your side you cannot lose. I was so glad to hear that you're seeing a Christian psychologist. Have you contacted him in the last couple of days about how you're feeling? If you haven't, you probably should. Certainly, he needs to know what's happening with you. I could ask lots of questions, but I won't, because it's none of my business. I just think he needs to know what's going on with you emotionally, now. Don't depend on your hubby to respond to your emotional needs because it doesn't seem like he is able. To me, it seems like he's part of your problem. I'm going to let it go at that. Just keep on keepin' on. Just keep praying. Just tell God that you can't do it alone and need His help. A very long time ago, when I prayed one day, I told God I felt so bad because the only time I prayed was when I was in need. Know what He said to me? "I would rather you come to Me in need than never come to Me at all." WOW, that really made me think about how merciful and gracious He is. Love beyond description! It's called AGAPE.
You will be in my prayers.
Grace and peace,
cris
Author