Large age difference.

[Joseph98]

I am 19 and I am friends with this girl who is 14.  I am really self concious about it when people at church see us talking or hanging out there.  We only hang out at church and if it is outside of church it is with her family.  We do like eachother so it could be something more but I am freaked out about it because I am 5 years older than she is.  Then I think I will be 26 when she is 21.  That doesn't sound bad does it?  Her parents would kill me if something were to happen, which is a good thing. HAHA.  Just the fact that she is a minor irks me about being her friend.  I hate stirring up problems but I think a lot of people at church think we are in a dating relationship.  That is a bad thing to me.  Any thoughts

[Soldier4Christ]

When she is 21 and you are 26 there is not much difference in age and it can be a good thing. When she is 14 and you are 19 there is a big difference in age. At the age of 14 she is just now discovering herself. What her likes and dislikes are. Understanding what is going on around her. You are College aged and she is just reaching High School age. This means that you have more responsibility, freedoms in decisions, starting out on a life of your own that will be somewhat separate from your parents. She has not reached this yet in her social life and rightly so.

It is a difficult time in both her and your lives. I strongly suggest and encourage that you keep this relationship completely platonic for many years to come. In other words, fear what her parents and the legal system could do to you.

[JudgeNot]

Joe -
Pastor Roger is absolutely correct.  You aren't 26 and she isn't 21.  You are, by law, an adult.  She is a child.  One squeak from ANYONE - not just her parents - and you could ruin your entire life.  If you are ever labeled a "sex offender" or "molester" - whether true or false - you will never live a peaceful moment the rest of your life.  You will have to REGISTER with the STATE where ever you go, and face your neighbor's ugly glares - for as long as you live...

Think about it.

[ZakDar]

I am 19 and I am friends with this girl who is 14.  I am really self concious about it when people at church see us talking or hanging out there.  We only hang out at church and if it is outside of church it is with her family.  We do like eachother so it could be something more but I am freaked out about it because I am 5 years older than she is.  Then I think I will be 26 when she is 21.  That doesn't sound bad does it?  Her parents would kill me if something were to happen, which is a good thing. HAHA.  Just the fact that she is a minor irks me about being her friend.  I hate stirring up problems but I think a lot of people at church think we are in a dating relationship.  That is a bad thing to me.  Any thoughts

Joseph,

You know better son. She 14 years old for crying out loud. She still doesn't know which way is up in her life!! She will change several times over the next 4 years, and maybe into something you don't like.

Keep at arms length, and I mean STRICTLY at arms length. Disregard my council, AND the wishes of her parents, and you WILL reap what you sow. Count on it!