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Author Topic: Married and living among the unsaved and ingodly  (Read 1679 times)
BFreeintheLord
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« on: June 12, 2004, 09:30:55 AM »

I got saved after I got married.

My husband's family do not believe in God. They belong to various cults. My husband has not joined any of these cults in spite of the hard selling of his relatives, but he has stopped attending church with me and the children.

My in-laws are very unkind to me. They make sure to do the things that they do behind my husband's back and his response is always that he did not see or hear them, so he cannot account for what happened. My response has been that I am not expecting him to account for what happened, but to hold them responsible for their actions and words. (He is not prepared to do this. His mother has a very tight hold on him.) There is now evidence of them engaging in dark, cult activities against me.

I have said to my husband on several occasions that it is the desire of his relatives (whom he insists are his family) to drive a wedge between us. He cannot understand why this would be so.

What should I do? I am fast approaching the end of my rope. I have been praying and the Lord has been helping me to cope. Is there anyone who has been there who can give me some practical advice?

Thanks.

BFreeintheLord



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Gracey
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« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2004, 12:16:21 PM »

Perhaps this will help:

Mat 5:43  You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
Mat 5:44  But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you,
Mat 5:45  so that you may become sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46  For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same?
Mat 5:47  And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax-collectors do so?
Mat 5:48  Therefore be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.


Luk 1:68  Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel, for He has visited and redeemed His people
Luk 1:69  and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of His servant David,
Luk 1:70  as He spoke by the mouth of His holy prophets from eternity;
Luk 1:71  that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us,

Luk 6:27  But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
Luk 6:28  bless those who curse you, and pray for those who despitefully use you.
Luk 6:29  And to him who strikes you on the one cheek, also offer the other. And to him who takes away your garment, do not forbid your tunic also.
Luk 6:30  Give to everyone who asks of you, and from him who takes away your goods, do not ask them again.
Luk 6:31  And as you desire that men should do to you, you do also to them likewise.
Luk 6:32  For if you love those who love you, what thanks do you have? For sinners also love those who love them.
Luk 6:33  And if you do good to those who do good to you, what thanks do you have? For sinners also do the same.
Luk 6:34  And if you lend to those of whom you hope to receive, what thanks do you have? For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
Luk 6:35  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return. And your reward shall be great, and you shall be the sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and to the evil.
Luk 6:36  Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Luk 6:37  Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven.


Luk 10:16  The one hearing you hears Me, and he who despises you despises Me; he who rejects you also rejects Him who sent Me.
Luk 10:17  And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject to us through Your name.
Luk 10:18  And He said to them, I saw Satan fall from Heaven like lightning.
Luk 10:19  Behold, I give to you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the authority of the enemy. And nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Luk 10:20  Yet do not rejoice in this, that the evil spirits are subject to you, rather rejoice because your names are written in Heaven.


Rom 12:14  Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not curse.
Rom 12:15  Rejoice with rejoicing ones, and weep with weeping ones;
Rom 12:16  minding the same thing toward one another, not minding high things, but yielding to the lowly. Do not be wise within yourselves.
Rom 12:17  Repay no one evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
Rom 12:18  If it is possible, as far as is in you, being in peace with all men.
Rom 12:19  not avenging yourselves, beloved, but giving place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
Rom 12:20  Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him. If he thirsts, give him drink. For in so doing you shall heap coals of fire on his head.
Rom 12:21  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


I also had an in-law problem in our marriage; one of them was catholic, the other had no religious belief. We did not get along at all, and in fact, shortly after the birth of our second daughter I stopped visiting their home and they mine. Over the years we each changed without knowing it. There came a time when we came together again and God, in his grace and mercy, planted that seed of love in me. In time it grew, along with my prayers for them, even though they did not love me. They do now, but it is many years since that time. They attend a non-denominational church and are growing in God.

It's a long story, but that's the short of it. How did it happen? Through much prayer and willingness to change on my part; willingness to "turn the other cheek", to pray for their salvation even if they never came to care for me, to put them ahead of myself.

It wasn't easy; not at all. But it was only "doable" through God and His strength. All of it is to His glory!!

The verses above helped me, and reminded me that I was once like they (sort of) and God loved me, even when I was a sinner.

Pray much, for "the effectual and fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much"!

My prayers are with you.

Gracey
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« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2004, 05:15:34 PM »

Be Free In the Lord,

First you have to ask God to give you strength everyday.  Ask God to make Himself visible in YOUR life, that way you can feel encouraged.  Don't let the burden of their unbelief weigh you down.  It's not your job to bring them to the Lord but the Holy Spirit's job.  You do have to witness, but always remember that Actions speak louder than words, so its perfectly acceptable to witness with your actions.  Only use words when necesary.

About the family problems, I have no clue.  I get so tired of unbeleivers purposely trying to point out that I have problems, they don't need to be in your family to do that.  AS IF my problems would prove my my God is not powerful, or not existent or not listening or whatever other NOT can be thought of.  Happens more often than I want to admit.

Remember, when it boils down to each of them making a decision and then when they KNOW they chose wrong, and they knew right from wrong, Christianity will be attacked because sometimes folks attack Christianity thinking that if Christianity goes away, the wrong thing that they did will no longer be wrong.

Good Luck.
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Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you would include not finding your neighbor's biggest fault and then harping on it as if it were your mission.
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