A Little Humor for Parents

[sincereheart]

A mother, passing by her daughter's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, mom. I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us, and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

[Symphony]

hehe.  

   

[Brother Love]

A mother, passing by her daughter's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, mom. I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us, and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

LOVE IT!!! You Get "TWO"Thumbs UP

[sincereheart]

*Laws of Parenting*

1.  The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2.  For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3.  Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4.  The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5.  Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6.  If the shoe fits...it's expensive.

7.  The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8.  The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9.  Backing the car out fo the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.  

[Shylynne]

Rebuked by her mother for being sullen and grouchy, the teenage daughter responded, "How come when it's me it's temper, and when it's you it's nerves?  

ROFL!
Cause I said so!  

Thats too funny!  I think teens are a little too intelligent for our own good.  My 16 year old is a drummer, he rat-a-tat-tats on everything! A few days ago I was trying to concentrate on something I was reading and asked him to stop rapping because it was "getting on my nerves". He looked at me and said "mother you have no nerves remember"...I said "no"?  To which he quite patiently explained..."the last time we had this conversation you said I was getting on your last nerve , if you have none left, how could I be getting on them now?"
I think I will quit using that expression.  

[sincereheart]

And they say that kids don't listen to their parents!  

[Shylynne]

"THEY" are wrong as per usual!  

[Symphony]

*Laws of Parenting*

1.  The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2.  For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3.  Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4.  The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5.  Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6.  If the shoe fits...it's expensive.

7.  The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8.  The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9.  Backing the car out fo the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.  

boy, for those w/o chillun, it's a whole nuther world they reall y don't know 'bout.


I heard Dr. Laura one night recently; a lady called in, said she was 35, married, but said she really didn't want any children, and what did DrL think about that.

Dr. Laura said, Well, you'd rather have the 'control' that your professional life (I think she was a doctor) offers you.  If you have children, you forfeit that control.

Hmm.  That made me think.  You really do, as a parent, have to give up a whole lot because, all of a sudden, everything is always about the child, or chillun.  

   

[Shylynne]

It is true parenting is a whole nuther world symphony

But the little things a parent might give up are not the things that make for a happy life  anyways.  

[nChrist]

Brothers and Sisters,

I'm looking back at many precious memories with children. In terms of giving and getting, I think that parents get back three to one and probably much more.

On one side you might have the colic, teething, diapers, and all kinds of other things. On the other side, you get to watch all kinds of funny and precious events. Growing up is fascinating, and the parents are actually watching part of themselves. All of the pleasant emotions, especially love, make the diaper changes and other not so pleasant tasks nothing. There will also be times of laughter and times of crying. For most parents, the times of joy would make 10 times the work all worth everything.

I firmly believe that some people should never be parents. Children are obviously not a passing fancy or fad, rather a lifetime commitment. As a simple analogy, if a person ties a puppy on the end of a chain at the back of the yard so they don't have to hear it, they shouldn't be having babies.    If having worry wrinkles and gray hair is a major concern, they shouldn't be having babies. I know that's probably a silly and simplistic example, but I gave it anyway.  

I honestly believe that parenting properly must always involve self-sacrifice of many types. In my opinion, it must not be as a must or a duty, rather something one is happy to do with joy and love. The police and child welfare folks deal with musts and duties, but parents deal with joy and love.

2 cents worth.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Shylynne]

...if a person ties a puppy on the end of a chain at the back of the yard so they don't have to hear it, they shouldn't be having babies...

EH!  

[Willowbirch]

[nChrist]

Willowbirch,

     Thanks Sister!! - I needed that laugh.

[sincereheart]

[nChrist]

     Thanks! Sincereheart
_________________________________

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned:


1.  No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2.  When your Mom is made at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3.  If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4.  Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5.  You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6.  Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7.  Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8.  You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9.  Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
_______________________________

Tom

Sign at nursery: Come to me my melon-cauliflower baby.