Relationship Question(long)

[Jeeper]

Hello everyone,  I have a situation that is very important to me and right now I am at a really big crossroads and dont know which way is right.  The past month has been a real roller coaster ride one day up the next day down.  It all started with a girl one of my friends is friends with well somehow along the line she just up and developed this big crush on me.  Me being totally clueless about was just as happy as could be just having her around as a friend well then my friend tells me that she really really likes me and that I should go for it.  So I thought you know why not give it a shot.  So I started to really get to her and found she is a great person and a wonderful girl.  When she is around me most of the time we can pick at each other and laught it off and we can just have a blast together.  I am someone that she can trust to talk about anything and well thats where this started.  After I really got to know her she tells me and my family all her problems which dont get wrong everyone has problems somewhere with life and if I can help I will do my best.  So come to find out she has been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and she suffers from panic attacks that just come out of nowhere.  But you have to realize she has been through alot these past few months first her dad pasted away just 6 months ago and the boyfriend that she had was a real jerk and he finally called it off about 2 or 3 months ago.  So now I am caught in the middle my mom and dad say I should back away and just keep in contact, best friends mom(whom I really trust) says I should stick with but dont push anything cause she knows how this girl feels cause she too once suffered from panic attacks and she says with time and healing she will get over this.  And me I dont know which way to go I really do like her and her problems dont really bother me well I can't say that I wish she didn't have them so she could enjoy life to the fullest and sometimes its hard to talk because one day she is up and the next just really down.  Please help with some advice anything at all would be good.

[ebia]

well I can't say that I wish she didn't have them so she could enjoy life to the fullest

If you didn't feel like that, you would defintely not be the right person for her.

and sometimes its hard to talk because one day she is up and the next just really down.  Please help with some advice anything at all would be good.

Don't rush, and don't commit yourself on the expectation that things will get better.  Imagine supporting her through rough times for the rest of your lives - if that puts you off then walk away because you (literally) aren't good enough for her.  If you can give her the love & support she needs in the way she needs it, it will probably help her to cope with how she is, but it's probably not going to go away. (From someone who is very happily married to someone remarkably similar to what you describe).

[tony]

well I can't say that I wish she didn't have them so she could enjoy life to the fullest

If you didn't feel like that, you would defintely not be the right person for her.

and sometimes its hard to talk because one day she is up and the next just really down.  Please help with some advice anything at all would be good.

Don't rush, and don't commit yourself on the expectation that things will get better.  Imagine supporting her through rough times for the rest of your lives - if that puts you off then walk away because you (literally) aren't good enough for her.  If you can give her the love & support she needs in the way she needs it, it will probably help her to cope with how she is, but it's probably not going to go away. (From someone who is very happily married to someone remarkably similar to what you describe).

Amen, Ebia on your comments!Is this girl a devoted Christian?  Equally important, is a personal question for you…. Are you a Christian?  If the answers to either of these questions is no, or sort of…. Well, we need to talk, and I would strongly recommend you e-mailing me, since you may not feel comfortable talking about the details on a forum.  My e-mail is tonymoore@jesusanswers.com

At the moment, I can not give a recommendation one way or the other.  What Ebia posted does have validity.  The only thing I would add to her comments is a quote by Ben Franklin, and I will paraphrase, “Go into relationships with your eyes wide open and once a commitment is made {that is marriage} close your eyes halfway”.  In other words, he recommended that we be fully aware of what we are getting ourselves into prior to making a commitment!  God has showed me many things about other people, but He has always expected me to have my eyes open.  Possibly, God has showed you something He wants you to be aware of!  He does, however, let us make our own decisions.  

Well, I will pray for your situation.  Dating is not the smoothest road.  Especially, when other people are involved, that is friends or family that has helped to orchestrate things.  The dating and selection of a lifelong partner is serious business.  If you would like the input of a Christian, I would be glad to discuss it privately through e-mails.

Tony  

[WolfBrother]

Jeeper,
Read and heed what Ebia wrote.
Read and respond to Tony.  You should always look to your salvation.

Then after all of that:
In My Never To Be Humble Opinion.
You need to read "The 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" By Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

At different times in my life, a couple of the chapters in the book could be entitled:
WolfBrother Chapter 1
WolfBrother Chapter 2.

One of the chapters deals with "Stupid Heroism -- saving "damsels in distress" and getting stuck with a loser or a "little girl" who will leave when she grows up "

It's very gratifying for a man as young as you are << your profile gave your age as 21, I'm 52 and have been there/done that >>  to be able to help like you are doing.  However, such activity is not what you build a long lasting, stable, loving relationship from.  

So, if you are able to help her out that's great, continue to do so as ONLY as a good friend.  To pursue further is to invite some real problems into her life and/or into your life.

As a final note, if you wish to discuss the difference in perspective/wisdom between being 21 and 52, please feel free to contact me.