Children's punishment

[Coyote]

I have 3 young uns. They love to push the limits (just like their Momma ). I have found diffrent forms work best on each kid. Time out is the least effective. Lecture works on my daughter, but not on my sons. Grounding works well on my oldest son, but not the youngest. Extra Chores works well for the older two, execpt I run out of chores to give them. Picking up pecans is very effective... lol. I save the spanking for very bad infractions. A swat across the bottom works the best for my youngest when a stern talking to doesn't work.

I am curious how others deal with the subject.

Also looking for scripture that deals with children.


Love in Christ,

Jim

[JudgeNot]

Brother Coyote,
I had to vote 'other' because my child is now 17.  To bend her over my knee and give her the whipping she still sometimes deserves would accomplish nothing at this point.  

Now I have to resort to other means; "Groundings" that take away the keys to her pickup, take away her cell phone, take away her privileges to the internet for a month at a time.

(And I make her eat fish and turnip greens five nights in a row.)  

But when she was younger than about 10 yeares old?  Yep - a good whippin' usually did the trick.  

Children remember spankings but quickly forget loss of TV or a computer for a night - probably because that isn't punishment but a blessing.  

Don't be fooled by "liberal child rearing advice" from TV and magazines.  Those giving the advice usually don't believe in God and are often Lesbian know-it-alls who will never have kids but know how we are supposed to raise ours.  Hmmphpff!  It is God-haters who are against spankings.

Disclaimer:
The above opinion is just an opinion and as most opinions go should be taken as opinion only.  However the reader is advised that it is a STRONG opinion.
End of disclaimer.

[Reba]

Yup Coyote,

Just like Gods kids are different so are our kids.

[sincereheart]

Don't be fooled by "liberal child rearing advice" from TV and magazines.  Those giving the advice usually don't believe in God and are often Lesbian know-it-alls who will never have kids but know how we are supposed to raise ours.  Hmmphpff!  It is God-haters who are against spankings.


We don't spank. And we do love the Lord. And neither my husband nor I are lesbians.  

[Reba]

And you didn't have me as your kid!

[Shylynne]

wooahhhhhh!  

Shall we  wander where angels fear to tread? LOL  

I suggest perfecting the LOOK, you know the one that says you wont make it to the ripe old age of freedom if you dont obey!

...of course tho  LOOK is a female talent  

[Psalm 119]

Proverbs is the biblical model for child training.

"He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." Prov. 13:24

That's pretty powerful stuff....he who spares the rod hates his son.

Our children are now grown, and spanking wasn't always the first course of action, but open defiance( i.e. yelling no!) and lying were two no no's.Our oldest was caught stealing and we had her write the eighth commandment (thou shall not steal) 100 times. Grounding and taking away priviledges were the methods used during the teen years.

It's really sad that many have adopted the Dr.Spock approach to child rearing, rather than using God's Word as the standard.

Psalm 119

[Broken]

You could always take the advice of Dr Rice, of Sword of the Lord publications..

he says, if you love your kids, beat them with a wide stick until they have bands of blue around their backs. and continue to do so until they have got married and left home. they're never too old to beat, and no infraction is too small for it.

He's put me off the whole idea. Ugh that man made me sick.

[Psalm 119]

It sounds like Dr. Rice has exceeded the boundaries of God's definition of a beating. His beliefs though does not negate God's.

Psalm 119

[Allinall]

You left out thumb screws and water torture!    Seriously though, we discipline with spanking, as that is what scripture says to do:

Do not withhold discipline from a child;
   if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
If you strike him with the rod,
   you will save his soul from Sheol.


Proverbs 23:13-14

But, I agree with Coyote.  Different forms of discipline work with different children.  My oldest fears spankings enough that the mere look from dad often does the trick.  My youngest has no fear of spanking whatsoever, so we have to resort to other methods, like privileges removed and such like.

Some say that spanking a child teaches them violence.  I agree with scripture.  It teaches them that I care enough to deal with their sin.  I tell my kids almost everytime I have to spank them that I do so because I obey God.  They're getting spanked because of disobedience.  I'm spanking in obedience.  They need to see that.

Some say that spanking a child teaches them that you don't love them.  I agree with scripture.  I love them, and I communicate that truth to them in love.  I care about their sin and the dealings God may bring into their lives over that sin.  If I don't deal with them...God will.  I love my kids and I want them around.  When we stop disciplining our kids, we see them killing each other in school.

[sincereheart]

Tsk, tsk.... So many assumptions being bandied about....

It's really sad that many have adopted the Dr.Spock approach to child rearing, rather than using God's Word as the standard.

If you don't spank, you've chosen Spock over God?

When we stop disciplining our kids, we see them killing each other in school.

If you don't spank, you don't discipline?

Well, you get the idea.....

Now let's try an idea you guys may not have thought of!
I come from the classroom. I was not allowed by law to carry a stick around and beat other people's children. Go figure....

Which meant that I had to be just a bit more creative in discipline. So that carried over to my home. My children are disciplined - just not beaten with a rod (nor have I ever seen 'actual' honey dripping from an adultress' mouth).

Liken it to a shepherd, if you like. The shepherd uses a rod to protect the sheep from predators, to pull them back when they stray, and to lean on for walking on unsteady terrain. The shepherd does NOT beat the sheep.

Now, having said that, I will also say that I have never said that I don't believe in spankings. But for those of you who disagree with me (personally) more often than not, let me also tell you that I was spanked!  

[Allinall]

If you don't spank, you don't discipline?

Well, you get the idea.....

Now Sister...don't be takin' me out of context.  I did say...

But, I agree with Coyote.  Different forms of discipline work with different children.  My oldest fears spankings enough that the mere look from dad often does the trick.  My youngest has no fear of spanking whatsoever, so we have to resort to other methods, like privileges removed and such like.

I didn't, seriously, mean to condemn your form of disciplining your child.  Please don't misunderstand me there.  But I am still adamant about the lack of discipline our government is instilling in us as parents these days.  It is different in different states, but I tend to see things as becoming more philosophical, and less theological in Christian Parenting.

As Americans, we've taken the Bible, prayer, and practiced discipline out of our schools, and in many cases, out of our homes.  We've evolved into higher thinking.  I can't help but see that as a large part of why we see kids killing kids.  Just a thought.  Feel free to disagree...

[sincereheart]

But I am still adamant about the lack of discipline our government is instilling in us as parents these days.  It is different in different states, but I tend to see things as becoming more philosophical, and less theological in Christian Parenting.

As Americans, we've taken the Bible, prayer, and practiced discipline out of our schools, and in many cases, out of our homes.  We've evolved into higher thinking.  I can't help but see that as a large part of why we see kids killing kids.  Just a thought.

Feel free to disagree...

Can't and don't!  

The only thing I ever disagree with is anyone (whoever) saying/implying that you MUST spank! And the ironic part is that spanking (as most people do it) doesn't actually follow the Proverb. You must use a 'rod' to follow it!   But there are other verses about raising children that are completely forgotten! That seems to be the only verse that most churchgoers want to know about! Sorry: /rant  

But I do agree that children need discipline! And I have seen far too often where parents use 'discipline' as a last resort and only after they have gotten frustrated! Discipline starts when the infraction starts, not after the umpteenth time!   Consistency is the key!

[Allinall]

The only thing I ever disagree with is anyone (whoever) saying/implying that you MUST spank!

But you MUST!!!! Says so right there..."if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.If you strike him with the rod..."...course, that does say "if."    My point being that to deny that as a course, I believe to be a problem.  It's not the only solution.  Many times it isn't even a viable one.  But it is a biblical one.  And I do use a rod.  A real big steel one with spikes...no wait.  That's in my Baldur's Gate game.  Good point!  But I'd argue (probably lacking in credibility) the implication of physical discipline over tools used to affect said discipline.

But I do agree that children need discipline! And I have seen far too often where parents use 'discipline' as a last resort and only after they have gotten frustrated! Discipline starts when the infraction starts, not after the umpteenth time!   Consistency is the key!

Guilty as charged!  And good point sister!  

[Coyote]

Glad to see I put the topic in the right place he he he he


I was spanked as a child. The method of spanking depended on the infraction. Fibbing was an automatic belt across the bottom, back talk was a hickory switch, not doin my chores was a paddle... I never hated my Dad for instilling the logic of actions/reactions. I didn't like it cause it hurt, but I learned to do what was right. My oldest 2 understand the resposibilities of making their decisions. Usually a look from me or a quick bark and all inappropriate behavior stops. They tell me up front when they screwed up, and I respect them for having that integrity at such a young age.

I use either the open hand across an underwear clad bottom, or a leather moccasian (it sounds loud when it smacks but with a sting). I do not beat them, or curse them when it is being administered. I let them count out the licks, and tell me why they are getting a spanking. I involve them during the whole process. Of course that is the maximum punishment and rarely used anymore.

I have found that when they blame each other and won't confess to something, that the simple law of gravity works great. I place an encyclopedia book in each ones hands and simply have them hold the book out. I have found stuff out I didn't know anything about. The truth comes quickly, and it is all cleared up. (Mind you I know the truth before we even start, that just ensures that one doesn't admit guilt when innocent) When it is something that impacts the entire familiy, then the entire familiy is present.

We are a very loving familiy, and we are all close. We tackle everything together, from yard work to finances (I want them to see how much money is spent just to live, and why we can't eat out every night). The only way we are going to make it in this world is through Love, Honesty, Fellowship, and our unshakable faith in Christ.


Sorry ranted a bit again


Love,

Coyote