Beth Moore on wives, husbands and Christ
by Beth Moore
This article is adapted from the Broadman & Holman book, To Live is Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord ... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. (Eph. 5:22, 25)
Paul found receptive soil in Ephesus, even in the midst of terrible hardships. His lengthy and effective ministry in Ephesus not only resulted in deep bonds of love (see Acts 20:37-38); it also freed him to proceed to great depths in his letter. If you have a Bible translation with chapter or paragraph headings, turn to Ephesians and look at the subjects Paul explored in his letter.
Space limits me to choose only one subject from the Book of Ephesians for this article. We will examine the subject of marriage: Ephesians 5:22-23 revolves around the Biblical roles of three distinct figures intimately involved in marriage - wives, husbands, and Christ. We will approach each role individually. Ladies, let’s get the painful part over first!
Part 1: The Role of Christian Wives
First, notice verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The attitude of all Christians is to be submissive to one another. No discussion of this topic can stay on track apart from that spirit.
How does the principle of mutual submission play itself out in marriage? The way I see it, my husband, Keith, has to worry about things I don’t. He sometimes has to come up with answers when I can’t. He’s responsible for things I’m not. Many times, I’m very happy to pass the proverbial buck.
Keith would say the same about me. He really doesn’t want to drive a carload of teenagers all over the city or sit for hours on the end of our daughters’ beds discussing matters of the heart.
Usually we defer to each other on our “turf issues.” When I’m not in agreement with Keith, I usually speak up, and we pray and work it out – at times less easily than others! This spirit of praying things through until we can come to consensus on important issues is the essence of mutual respect and the opposite of “lording it over one another.”
Paul’s primary directive to women dealt with submission, while his primary directive to men dealt with love. Could it be that he was targeting the areas most likely to be our weaknesses? Before we learn what submission means for Christian wives, let’s learn what it does not mean:
1. Submission does not mean women are under the authority of men in general.
I love the King James Version’s rendition of Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands.” Guess what? Wives aren’t asked to submit to anyone else’s husband! Just their own!
While I make this point somewhat tongue-in cheek, many women assume the Bible teaches their general inferiority and subjection to men. Untrue. Paul is talking about marriage as a matter between each husband and wife.
2. Submission does not mean inequality.
Paul, the same man who taught submission, made a statement in Galatians 3:28 pertinent to our subject: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Spiros Zodhiates’ definition of the Greek word hupotasso explains that submission “is not due to her being inferior to her husband, for they are both equal before God.”
3. Submission does not mean wives are to treat their husbands like God.
The Bible Knowledge Commentary explains: “'As to the Lord' does not mean that a wife is to submit to her husband in the same way she submits to the Lord, but rather that her submission to her husband is her service rendered ‘to the Lord.’” I think most husbands are relieved they are not called on to be God to their wives!
4. Submission does not mean slavery.
Let’s release a few old notions and fears! Paul uses an entirely different word in Ephesians 6:5 when he instructs slaves to obey their masters. This Greek word for “obey,” huakouo embraces more of the meaning people often mistakenly associate with marital submission. Hupaaakouo means “to obey, to yield to a superior command or force (without necessarily being willing).” The term draws a picture of a soldier saluting his commander, not a wife submitting to her husband!
Now that we’ve learned a few things submission does not mean, just exactly what does it mean?
The Greek word for “submit” is hupotasso. Hupo means “under” and tasso means “to place in order.” The compound word hupotasso means “to place under or in an orderly fashion.” Paul didn’t dislike women, he liked order! He advocated order in the church, order in government, order in business, and, yes, order in the home.
I’m convinced he even kept his prison cell in order! Galatians 3:28 and Ephesians 5:22 could spill from the same man’s pen because Paul regarded husbands and wives as spiritual equals but with functional differences.
The concept of a submissive wife really used to go against my grain until I began to learn more about God. Two realizations have changed my entire attitude:
1. God is good and loving.
He would never give approval to meanness or abuse. Any misuse of submission by either the husband or wife is sin.
2. God granted women a measure of freedom in submission that we can learn to enjoy.
It is a relief to know that as a wife and mother I am not totally responsible for my family. I have a husband to look to for counsel and direction. I can rely on his toughness when I am too soft and his logic when I am too emotional.
Certainly, I haven’t just delivered the definitive dissertation on submission, but I believe I’m offering you sound doctrine. I hope it helps. Now, let’s take a brief look at the role of husbands, according to Ephesians 5:25-31.
-Pastors.com®-
This article is adapted from Beth Moore’s, To Live is Christ (Broadman & Holman, 2001, pp. 249-257). Used by permission. Copyright Beth Moore, 2001.
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