I want to update everyone on what's been happening the last two weeks I moved in on Saturday, the 8th. I'm settled in and love the new home and neighborhood. I really believe God has something important for me to do here in my new neighborhood.
Next is a new
issue that I believe is in conjunction with the divorce. I met with our district superintendent (DS) on Sunday, 9/2, after church, and he told me he thought I should resign as the church's lay delegate (LD) , and that a couple of people contacted him and said they had a problem(s) with me, but he would not say who or what the problem is. I hate when people do that. If you don’t know what it is, you can’t resolve it, and that’s both frustrating and not conducive to making changes and moving on. I told him I would not resign on my own because I love doing what I’m doing, and want to continue doing it.
The Official Board (OB) meeting was the following Wednesday, 9/5 after prayer meeting. The DS was present. When we were going through the business part of the meeting, when it was my turn to “report” I said something like “I understand there are one or more people who “have a problem” with me, and I would ask that person or persons to come to me so we can resolve it. I have a feeling it could be a misunderstanding, and I don’t want to be at odds with anyone….If that person is not here now, please tell them.” Well, the room got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. No one said anything to me then or since. After the business part of the meeting, the OB president looked at the DS and said, “well, we have this letter from Martha about her divorce. I guess you’re going to address that.” He asked me if I would resign if they asked me to, or any discussion was moot. I said I don’t want to resign, but if the OB wants me to, I will. (I figured it’s no use fighting city hall or making enemies, etc.) They asked me to step out, so I paced the parking lot for 20 minutes in the heat. When they called me back in, the DS said he was appointed spokesman. He told me it was UNANIMOUS that the board is asking for my resignation. I was so stunned
that I didn’t even ask why. I just said they would have my letter by Sunday and left. That was very hurtful, and I’m still working through it.
On Sunday, 9/9, we obtained an interim pastor (IP), but I did not go to church anywhere that day. It was the day after I moved, so I just stayed home, had my own devotions, listened to music, etc. I did not go to prayer meeting that week either. Only 2 people called me to say they missed me, and I had called 2 others to discuss what happened at the meeting. The following Sunday (this past week, 9/16), I visited a friend's church, relatives, and a friend in the morning and went to my church in the evening.
I had a talk with the IP on Wednesday evening before church regarding my being asked to resign as LD. I told him that I feel one “job” isn’t any different than another, and he agreed with me. They are all a ministry—even doing the newsletter. We both agreed that if I’m not allowed to be LD then I shouldn’t be teaching, etc. It is being inconsistent on the board/church’s part. He thinks I should either write a letter or request to address the OB and ask the reason(s) why I was asked to resign. I am just assuming it is the divorce issue, but they didn’t give any reason(s). Then go on to explain my point of view. If it is just the divorce that is the issue, that means I would not be able to be in any leadership position in the church, which would let them with a lot of holes—which MIGHT get some of the members upset and open a can of worms or something. The other thing is that since the church has no by-laws (and don’t want any), the church is required to abide by the denomination’s Discipline. Since it states in the Discipline that divorced people are to be granted full participation in church membership and activities, etc.; in asking me to resign, they are not upholding the church discipline. I don’t want to be present at another board meeting, but I am going to write that letter. So pray for the TACTFUL way to explain my position, etc. and for the outcome. I know the IP will back me up on this.
I also thought of asking for what they call a referendum which means the issue has to be taken to the congregation for a vote. Outside the OB, most people do not know of my pending divorce yet, but the ones I have shared it with do not have a problem with it, and in fact some of them are divorced people and serving in the church, so the other question I will be asking is, is my not being able to serve time-sensitive—such as only until the divorce is final, or a year or something—or will I NEVER be allowed to serve there again. If that's the case, then I also need to ask why there have been divorcees serving in the past and presently. I hate to do it, but if the latter is the case, I’ll be looking for a new church. I want to minister to people and I believe I can regardless of the outcome of my divorce. I do not want to sit back and do nothing but warm a pew—that’s not me!
Regarding my husband… He was served the divorce papers a week ago and had an appointment with an attorney. I have not heard anything from him or his attorney yet. I have a feeling he will drag things out just to drain me of money in paying for an attorney. I had to pay a $1,500 retainer fee up-front, and I got the attorney’s statement today, and already he’s used almost $900 of that amount. Finances are getting tight for me until this all is settled.
One positive thing
is with all the stress I HAD (none now), the moving, the heat (sweated a lot), and the extra walking, I’ve lost a good bit of weight. A couple more pounds and I’ll be down to where I was about 10 years ago, which is good.
So.... I know different churches have different rules and thoughts, etc., but would you agree that if I can't minister as LD, then I shouldn't minister at all???
