Andrew

[Maryjane]

My husband and i have been taking care of an infant since he was 2 monts old..He is now a year old and we plan to adopt him...His brother Andrew who is now 3 was recently put in our care..Andrew is very hard to handle and does not talk nor does he interact with other children...he does not recognize his brother and can be very mean to him..I spend the day coping with him with often 3 rage holds a day...He is always angry and i understand why as it is very hard for any child that age to be thrust into a different home...Please pray that he will stop hurting himself and that he will allow us to love him and work with him until he returns to his father...He needs so much care that I am exhausted from working with him since he has to be watched 24-7...and he is so jealous of the baby..Please pray for us...

[Debp]

Maryjane, I'll be praying for you, Andrew and your family.

[Shammu]

Maryjane, I'm praying for you, Andrew, and your family.

[Soldier4Christ]

My prayers are with you all daily.

[Brother Jerry]

I will be praying for your family, Andrew, and it sounds like Andrew's father.

[Debp]

My husband and i have been taking care of an infant since he was 2 monts old..He is now a year old and we plan to adopt him...His brother Andrew who is now 3 was recently put in our care..Andrew is very hard to handle and does not talk nor does he interact with other children...he does not recognize his brother and can be very mean to him..I spend the day coping with him with often 3 rage holds a day...He is always angry and i understand why as it is very hard for any child that age to be thrust into a different home...Please pray that he will stop hurting himself and that he will allow us to love him and work with him until he returns to his father...He needs so much care that I am exhausted from working with him since he has to be watched 24-7...and he is so jealous of the baby..Please pray for us...

Maryjane, I have been thinking of you all and praying, too.  Just wondered....has Andrew been to any sort of specialist about his extreme behavior?  Perhaps he feels unwanted (or thinks he is)?  I know love (as you will give him, knowing you from your posts) will help him.  It's so sad when situations happen that can affect a child so badly....perhaps he is also upset because his brother will be adopted and Andrew won't be?  Hoping your love and kindness will get through to Andrew as well as our prayers.

[Faithin1]

Maryjane, God bless you for opening your home and your heart to these children.  May the Lord give you the strength you need to deal with this difficult situation, and may He comfort Andrew and make him receptive to your kindness, and ease his troubled mind.  My prayers are with all of you.

[Maryjane]

Thank you so much for praying for us...My husband will be going home from the hospital today..He has to stay with his father as it would be very hard for him to recover here at home due to Andrews behavior....

I am praying Andrew will be cooperative during the 3 months we will spend without my husband being at home...I am also praying he will not be mean to the baby...He wants all the attention and it is very hard to give him all the attention when there is another child in the home...Andrew is loved but no matter how much attention he is given it is not enough and will hurt the baby..hit himself..bite himself...go into rages until he is the focal point of all the attention..It is very hard but we are praying and we are so thankful for those that are praying...

[Soldier4Christ]

I must have missed something or my memory is failing me. I don't remember anything about your husband being in the hospital. Sister, my prayers are definitely with you in this situation. I have you and your family on my prayer list for daily prayer.

[Debp]

Andrew is loved but no matter how much attention he is given it is not enough and will hurt the baby..hit himself..bite himself...go into rages until he is the focal point of all the attention..It is very hard but we are praying and we are so thankful for those that are praying...

Maryjane, I didn't realize your husband was ill either.  I pray he will recover soon.

About Andrew:  Maybe you should try this....(of course protect the baby) but ignore Andrew's rages.  He is getting what he wants by going into rages and will continue to do this for that reason.  Give him plenty of attention while he is behaving and try to make him feel a part of helping with the baby.  But try ignoring his rages.....hopefully, when he doesn't get attention by throwing them, he will start to behave better.

If he continues to throw these rages and bite/hit himself, you might contact a counselor about his behavior.

[nChrist]

Hello Maryjane,

I will also be praying for you and your family. I'm also guilty of not knowing your husband was in the hospital, so I will add that to my prayer list. The prayer list gets pretty large these days. I simply know that GOD loves to hear our prayers, and HE does whatever HE wishes in Heaven and on earth. HIS Will is perfect for us, and HIS Love never fails.

Love In Christ,
Tom

 

[Maryjane]

Steve had knee replacement surgery and two doctors operated on him..there was complications and because he has to take medication for high blood pressure along with the shots for blood clots and other medication due to the operation, it is best he does not come home to a stressful invironment...Steve will be staying with his father for 3 months..I will be working with Andrew..CPS will not take him out of the home and feels it is best that I do whatever it takes to help Andrew...The plan made for Andrew with CPS is that he is the center of the home that he is to have all his needs met..ahead of the rest at home..I am to take stress management and coping classes to help him and I have never been stressed nor have ever needed coping skills..and due to this...the child knows he can do whatever and it makes it even harder..Each time he has rages...he knows it will bring attention to him and if there is no attention to him...he will bite himself..throw things and try to tear the curtians down...No amount of love and holding him keeps him from the rages....I am trusting God for the wisdom to help this child..I know that God hears the cries of his people and holds each child close..I know good will come out of this somehow...Thank you for keeping us in your prayers..

[Debp]

CPS will not take him out of the home and feels it is best that I do whatever it takes to help Andrew...The plan made for Andrew with CPS is that he is the center of the home that he is to have all his needs met..ahead of the rest at home..I am to take stress management and coping classes to help him and I have never been stressed nor have ever needed coping skills..and due to this...the child knows he can do whatever and it makes it even harder..Each time he has rages...he knows it will bring attention to him and if there is no attention to him...he will bite himself..throw things and try to tear the curtians down...No amount of love and holding him keeps him from the rages.

CPS needs some classes themselves.....catering to Andrew's rages, etc, will only make them worse in my opinion.  (In my day, a swat or two on the butt would soon stop this behavior, too.)   It's like one of my cats....she would bite my ankle when she wanted fed....so I made it a point not to feed her then.  Now she is not biting my ankles!  Too bad CPS won't let you use your own good common sense and wisdom...they are making things worse!

[mississippi_jesus_chic]

I will pray for this situation.  I know that kids are so easily influenced at such a young age.  Whatever he gets in his mind right now is going to effect the rest of his life.  I pray that he will see how much he is loved.

[Debp]

Maryjane, how is Andrew coming along lately?  I hope he is doing better.  How's your husband recouperating?  Hope you are well, too.