DISCUSSION FORUMS
MAIN MENU
Home
Help
Advanced Search
Recent Posts
Site Statistics
Who's Online
Forum Rules
Bible Resources
• Bible Study Aids
• Bible Devotionals
• Audio Sermons
Community
• ChristiansUnite Blogs
• Christian Forums
• Facebook Apps
Web Search
• Christian Family Sites
• Top Christian Sites
• Christian RSS Feeds
Family Life
• Christian Finance
• ChristiansUnite KIDS
Shop
• Christian Magazines
• Christian Book Store
Read
• Christian News
• Christian Columns
• Christian Song Lyrics
• Christian Mailing Lists
Connect
• Christian Singles
• Christian Classifieds
Graphics
• Free Christian Clipart
• Christian Wallpaper
Fun Stuff
• Clean Christian Jokes
• Bible Trivia Quiz
• Online Video Games
• Bible Crosswords
Webmasters
• Christian Guestbooks
• Banner Exchange
• Dynamic Content

Subscribe to our Free Newsletter.
Enter your email address:

ChristiansUnite
Forums
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 29, 2024, 04:14:07 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
286776 Posts in 27568 Topics by 3790 Members
Latest Member: Goodwin
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  ChristiansUnite Forums
|-+  Entertainment
| |-+  Laughter (Good Medicine) (Moderator: admin)
| | |-+  Welcome to Heaven!
« previous next »
Pages: [1] Go Down Print
Author Topic: Welcome to Heaven!  (Read 2017 times)
GeneandElvie
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 10


View Profile WWW
« on: April 26, 2007, 04:08:56 AM »

Tell this one to a friend, if you dare! Last night I had a dream that you and I were killed in an car accident. We both went to heaven immediately and we looked up and there on the very top of a mountain were the pearly gates. As we started up the mountain I grew tired and you took hold of my arm and pulled on me. Just before we reached the top I ran out of all energy. I just could not go any further. Being the fine Christian man that you are, you picked me up and put me on your shoulders and carried me right up to the pearly gate. Jesus was there and he said, " Brother Gene, welcome to Heaven. Come on in and bring your mule with you!"
Logged

Gene & Elvie

MAR 16:15 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2007, 04:32:09 AM »

 Grin  I don't dare, but I do have a few jokes to share.

__________________

Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

__________________

Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You are a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

__________________

Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it .... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator ..... (applies to engineers mainly).


Logged

nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2007, 04:38:46 AM »

Because I am a man, I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

_______________________

Because I am a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I will do the rest ...... like wandering around in the garden wondering what to do.

_______________________

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Logged

Shammu
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 34862


B(asic) I(nstructions) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth)


View Profile WWW
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2007, 05:35:20 AM »

Quote from: Blackeyedpeas
  Grin I don't dare, but I do have a few jokes to share.


GROAN....

 Wink Wink Wink Wink Grin Grin Grin Wink Wink Wink Wink
Logged

ibTina
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1031


Keep your eyes on JESUS!


View Profile WWW
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2007, 10:14:39 AM »

Quote
Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it .... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator ..... (applies to engineers mainly).


LOL.. I really liked this one!
Logged

Pages: [1] Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  



More From ChristiansUnite...    About Us | Privacy Policy | | ChristiansUnite.com Site Map | Statement of Beliefs



Copyright © 1999-2019 ChristiansUnite.com. All rights reserved.
Please send your questions, comments, or bug reports to the

Powered by SMF 1.1 RC2 | SMF © 2001-2005, Lewis Media