Welcome to Heaven!

[GeneandElvie]

Tell this one to a friend, if you dare! Last night I had a dream that you and I were killed in an car accident. We both went to heaven immediately and we looked up and there on the very top of a mountain were the pearly gates. As we started up the mountain I grew tired and you took hold of my arm and pulled on me. Just before we reached the top I ran out of all energy. I just could not go any further. Being the fine Christian man that you are, you picked me up and put me on your shoulders and carried me right up to the pearly gate. Jesus was there and he said, " Brother Gene, welcome to Heaven. Come on in and bring your mule with you!"

[nChrist]

   I don't dare, but I do have a few jokes to share.

__________________

Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

__________________

Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You are a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

__________________

Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it .... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator ..... (applies to engineers mainly).

[nChrist]

Because I am a man, I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

_______________________

Because I am a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I will do the rest ...... like wandering around in the garden wondering what to do.

_______________________

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.

[Shammu]

  I don't dare, but I do have a few jokes to share.

GROAN....

 

[ibTina]

Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it .... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator ..... (applies to engineers mainly).

LOL.. I really liked this one!