My Deliverance

HE WILL DELIVER YOU
When i was 6-7 yearsf age I would always hear God calling my name, I used to think it was my mom or dad but when I would go to them (in the middle of the night) they would be asleep and I would return to my bed..puzzeled. This happened quite a bit when I was around that age. One day while my mom was cooking dinner, I told her about the experience and she looked at me and said" the Lord is calling you "Penny" the next time you hear His voice Just say Yes Lord." During that time I dont recall hearing Him call my name audibly again.... As I got older I desired to be closer to Him but instead of doing His will I began to do my own thing..and that desire that was in me to seek after Him became smaller and smaller as the desire of the world grew. But still in side I remembered His voice calling my name... that still small voice was always there... but instead of me running to Him I did everything within my power to drown out the voice of my heavenly Father... I began to smoke marijuana and when that was not enough to drown out His voice and the call on my life I began to drink ( beer and alcohol) and the funny thing about it ... I did not even like the way it tasted... after that I began to date and have sex with a man I was not married too......hmmm at first I felt the guilt and shame of that but after sleeping with Him over and over again... the guilt and shame began to lessen ..after all I deserved to have some one in my life and other "church folk" I knew were shackin up and their life was great (so I thought).

These events were my spiral downward to years of hurt , disappointment,loneliness, and ultimately a near death experience. I ended up with a man that asked me to marry Him.....had 4 children by Him.. (I know that being with him was not the will of God) He left me when I was 8 months preg. with his twin sons... to make a long story short.... I continued to do my own thing after they were born ended up living in conditions that I never thought I would have to face....it was like looking up from a pit and saying how did I end up here.... I also ended up in a lesbian relationship.. which the Lord delivered me from and restored my love and repect for men and gave me a taste of what He feels about that type of sin and abomination.....In that pit of sin and dispare I could not sleep at night..I would walk the floor and say God if you are there please rescue me and my children....help us!!! Not long after prayed that prayer my room mate came in intoxicated and put a strait edged razor to my throat and looked me in my eyes and said ....you are just mad because there is a bigger demon in me than in you and if you and I can kill you...

Right then and there I began to weep and cry out to God in front of my room mate my children and most likely the neighbors (it was summertime and the windows were all up). My room-mate started cursing and I could literally sense the evil in her voice and at that very moment I said Lord if you deliver me right now from death..I will serve you and never turn back..at that moment my room-mate looked at me and said a few more curse words and walked away... that next day I packed what I could fit in 2 suitcases...sold my car left a house furnished and everything in at and got on the next greyhound out of that city...the road to recovery was not over...I had just been delivered from death but I still had within me issues, strongholds, and pain. when me and my children arrived in the city in which I live now...we had no where to go ...... but was thankful to be out of that mad house .....I got off the bus and went to a mother in the Lords house and she let us stay in a room in her attic...it was not fixed up but it was a palace and a place of peace....2 days later we went to live in a shelter for abused/homeless women "Every Womens Place" , The only thing I had at that point was 34 dollars a black and white 13 inch t.v. and 4 little children. We all were wounded and need much repair in our spirits and lives...I can remember just sitting for hours staring blankly and saying , Lord how did this happen....every thing I vowed never to do ..I did..

The first thing I began to do is go to church and uphold my promise to God...I still smoked marijuana,drank, and was sleeping around....but yet going to church....It was if I was so lost that all I could do at that point is to go where I know I could be restored... I began to get counseling from my pastor and it seemed like my life was the same until one day after I had polished off a bottle of beer or 4 ....I said Lord help me , I cant quit drinking....I need you to take this from me please....and I went to sleep...the next day I got up, didnt feel delivered or set free...just felt like me.... I went to the store and purchased my drink for the day ..... went home , cracked open the bottle and turned it up...oh yes strait out the bottle....but something was wrong ...I began to feel very ill..my stomach ached...my arteries in my neck began to burn as if they were on fire and I remember the prayer ........I said naghhhh it could be, so I lay down until the symptoms went away and picked up my drink and had a little sip....it happened again... ok so now I accepting the fact that God answered my prayer....I went about 3 months and had nothing to drink.... and then I picked up a drink after a bad day and this time I mixed it with coke and ice and just put one shot of liquor in a 16 oz. drink and as soon as I drank it ..I thought I was having a stroke...my arteries began to tighten up in my neck to the point were I could not hardly move and it was as if I was loosing all mobility and ability to function... I went to the restroom and threw up and began to feel some relief and it was at that moment I heard that still small voice say.... Allison I am your Father come to me....

The next week I went to my pastors house and said can we please talk.... I went and told him and his wife about the marijuana addiction and I also told them that I like doing it and the way that it tastes and If I could serve God and smoke weed I would do just that....but I know that He is calling me into the ministry and I cant have anything that is not of Him in my life so today I need to be delivered... right then and there we knelt in their living room and prayed and there were no big thunder bolts , no angels flying around the room, I was not slain in the spirit....I simply told the Lord.."Lord I love you and I want to do your will...I get high, and i like getting high but I love you more than I love marijuana, I know its wrong and I need you to deliver me from this so I can go forward in you..amen. I got up and embraced my pastor and his wife and left... now that was about 9 yrs ago and I have not had a joint sense, or a drink and have been celebrate as well....

You see, I gave up and gave myself to the Lord, sense then I have entered into the ministry, and serve in several offices at my church... Serve the Lord with passion and I love Him greatly with all that is within me ...I love Him... He has restored my gift of music , I have recorded a c.d. and write themes for ministries and conferences...

Today I would like to encourage all who read this if you are bound, you can be set free.. I you are In a pit..He is your lifeline, call on Him and mean business and He will answer and Deliver you.

Remnant