DISCUSSION FORUMS
MAIN MENU
Home
Help
Advanced Search
Recent Posts
Site Statistics
Who's Online
Forum Rules
Bible Resources
• Bible Study Aids
• Bible Devotionals
• Audio Sermons
Community
• ChristiansUnite Blogs
• Christian Forums
• Facebook Apps
Web Search
• Christian Family Sites
• Top Christian Sites
• Christian RSS Feeds
Family Life
• Christian Finance
• ChristiansUnite KIDS
Shop
• Christian Magazines
• Christian Book Store
Read
• Christian News
• Christian Columns
• Christian Song Lyrics
• Christian Mailing Lists
Connect
• Christian Singles
• Christian Classifieds
Graphics
• Free Christian Clipart
• Christian Wallpaper
Fun Stuff
• Clean Christian Jokes
• Bible Trivia Quiz
• Online Video Games
• Bible Crosswords
Webmasters
• Christian Guestbooks
• Banner Exchange
• Dynamic Content

Subscribe to our Free Newsletter.
Enter your email address:

ChristiansUnite
Forums
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 03, 2022, 01:56:10 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
286230 Posts in 27567 Topics by 3790 Members
Latest Member: Goodwin
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  ChristiansUnite Forums
|-+  Fellowship
| |-+  Just For Women (Moderator: admin)
| | |-+  big mess
« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] Go Down Print
Author Topic: big mess  (Read 5146 times)
Kristi Ann
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1027


John 9:1-5 KJV


View Profile WWW
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2004, 10:33:08 AM »

Dear MusicLover,


I will continue to Pray for you Sister!

My mother was married to my daddy 45 years before he died. He never went to church, never talked about God, and didn't like the hypocrites at Church he told me.  My daddy was raised in a Catholic School.

My mother stayed with him because she loved him uncondiontionally.  My mom always took me to a Baptist Chruch, my daddy never came.

Yes, you're right, God Hates Divorce!!  Too much pain in divorce, plus is we wait and ask God what to do, maybe He'll help us through the hard times.

God Loves you Music Lover, He will never Leave you nor forsake you sweetie!

I Love you Sister, please remember "You're Not alone!"


Blessings sweetie,  \o/

KristiAnn

KristiAnn,
             I have come back to this message time and time again, I like reading it, like hearing it. Thank you for your pryaers and words of encouragement. I know what I must do first and that is get into routine of prayer and study. God doesn't leave us, but we sure have a tendancy to leave him don't we.
    Thank you so much for your kind words.
blessings,
musicllover


You're so much Sister! Grin

Logged

musicllover
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 418


Seek ye first the kingdom of God.........


View Profile
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2004, 10:49:32 AM »

Quote
What causes conflict?
The Bible says conflict is caused by selfishness.  James 4:1, "Do you know where your fights and arguments come from?  They come from selfish desires that war within you."  I am basically a selfish person.  I think of me before I think of anybody else.  And you do too.  I want what I want and you want what you want, and when these competing desires collide that's called conflict.

The night before I got married, my father in law sat down with us and said, "There are five areas where marriages usually have conflict:  money, sex, in-laws, children, and communication."  My father-in-law was a prophet. In our marriage we went five for five!  We hit every single one of them.

Some of you are in major pain right now.  You are frustrated to no end.  You feel stuck in your relationship because you have argued about certain issues over and over in your relationship and there has been no resolution, much less reconciliation.  You don't know what to do.

God says, "Here are some steps."  I've seen these steps work in dozens, if not hundreds of couples.

If you're going to pull together, when you're pulled apart, you have to...  

1.  Call on God for help
Pray about it.  Before you go to the other person and talk to them about the problem, discuss it with God.  This may solve the problem right there.  Before you start dealing with the issue, before you talk to anybody about the problem, talk to God about it, and ask Him for help.

I challenge you to practice what I call ventilating vertically. Many of you are very good at ventilating horizontally, but ventilating vertically is when you come to God.  You come and say, "Here's how I feel."  And you just lay it out.

James 4:2, "You quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God."  This is so foundational; you have to get this point.  Conflict often occurs when we expect other people to meet needs that only God Himself can meet in our lives.

One day you stood in front of a bunch of people and you said, "I do."  What you were really saying was, "I expect."  You weren't thinking about what you intended to do and the promises you were going to keep.  You were thinking, "Good!  All my needs are going to be met now!  This person is the answer to my dreams and is going to fulfill me in every way."  There is no person alive who could possibly meet all your needs.  Only God can do that.

  Well this is pretty much my marriage in a nut shell, his father in law was defiantly right. And I did expect the I do's to fullfill my ever need. Even knowing as I said them that there were some problems, I thought my vows would heal those things inside of myself, and make right my relationship with my husband...I guess this is referred to as rose colored glasses. Year later the rose colored has worn off.  
      But how do my husband and I get on the same page? How can I do what I must to get myself where I believe  should be? How can God work with 2 individuals who seem to have such seperate needs in ONE marraige. Don't we simply hamper what GOd might want to do?  I hate to keep pointing fingers here, but when I suggested a different church cause I'm a full gospel believer, literally dieing on the vine  in his very very tradition church he goes off on me, when I suggested we pray he agrees but it doesn't happen. I did try another church several years ago, with out him, with his gritted teeth blessings it simply pulled us apart that much more. Him doing his thing and me doing mine......and he hated me taken our kids, actually sabatoged them going with me, go with dad to church and you can.........
     The only think I can do is work on me, the way I process and work things thru, I understand that. But if I am the only one changing how does that help? We must both do some ajustments. But I can't force him too change....... that makes me sad, angry, why always me?
musicllover

 
Logged

musicllover
Shammu
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 34862


B(asic) I(nstructions) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth)


View Profile WWW
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2004, 03:35:23 AM »

Hi musicllover, seeing that I am the first guy to answer you....
Here is my 2 cents worth. Your husband need the Love of God. To do this he need a spiritally filled church. He needs to get out of the dead church he is in. Pray to God, for his salvation, and your childrens.
Alot of guys don't know how, to ask for help. You need to find a way so he asks you, for that help. Also men like this, are not sure of themselves. Therefore they mask this by macho boloney.
I will pray for you musicllover, Pray that Jesus shows you what you need to do, so that he can become one of Christs children.

Go in peace with God.
DW
Logged

musicllover
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 418


Seek ye first the kingdom of God.........


View Profile
« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2004, 01:00:31 AM »

Hi musicllover, seeing that I am the first guy to answer you....
Here is my 2 cents worth. Your husband need the Love of God. To do this he need a spiritally filled church. He needs to get out of the dead church he is in. Pray to God, for his salvation, and your childrens.
Alot of guys don't know how, to ask for help. You need to find a way so he asks you, for that help. Also men like this, are not sure of themselves. Therefore they mask this by macho boloney.
I will pray for you musicllover, Pray that Jesus shows you what you need to do, so that he can become one of Christs children.

Go in peace with God.
DW

Dreamweaver,
                   thank you so much for responding, I value a mans opinion, if one man can see the wrong in this then maybe I'm not being paranoid. I honestly am not sure how males should act. I know what needs I want met, the lonelyness, and saddness for it seems both of us. Its possilby a lack of education for both my husband and myself, the way we were raised or something. I'm always telling my kids they weren't born with instructions, well..... neither is marriage. I pray my husband will be lead by the Holy Spirit, cause honestly its will take a miracle to get him into another church, this is a 12 year battle with him. Of coarse in his eyes I am not submitting to him if I question, or ask for us going to another church.
        I thank you so much for your prayers, blessing to you friend.
 musicllover
Logged

musicllover
Shammu
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 34862


B(asic) I(nstructions) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth)


View Profile WWW
« Reply #19 on: August 15, 2004, 01:10:43 AM »

Hi musicllover, seeing that I am the first guy to answer you....
Here is my 2 cents worth. Your husband need the Love of God. To do this he need a spiritally filled church. He needs to get out of the dead church he is in. Pray to God, for his salvation, and your childrens.
Alot of guys don't know how, to ask for help. You need to find a way so he asks you, for that help. Also men like this, are not sure of themselves. Therefore they mask this by macho boloney.
I will pray for you musicllover, Pray that Jesus shows you what you need to do, so that he can become one of Christs children.

Go in peace with God.
DW

Dreamweaver,
                   thank you so much for responding, I value a mans opinion, if one man can see the wrong in this then maybe I'm not being paranoid. I honestly am not sure how males should act. I know what needs I want met, the lonelyness, and saddness for it seems both of us. Its possilby a lack of education for both my husband and myself, the way we were raised or something. I'm always telling my kids they weren't born with instructions, well..... neither is marriage. I pray my husband will be lead by the Holy Spirit, cause honestly its will take a miracle to get him into another church, this is a 12 year battle with him. Of coarse in his eyes I am not submitting to him if I question, or ask for us going to another church.
        I thank you so much for your prayers, blessing to you friend.
 musicllover
A man should act with kindness, be willing to listen to his wife. Value her input, and be willing to act on what is going on around him. Remember that Marriage is a 50/50 deal, not 25/75, or 10/90, in order for marriage to work it has to be 50/50 on everything. Talking is also a major part of marriage.
Logged

His_child
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 357


Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!


View Profile
« Reply #20 on: August 15, 2004, 03:12:34 AM »

A man should act with kindness, be willing to listen to his wife. Value her input, and be willing to act on what is going on around him. Remember that Marriage is a 50/50 deal, not 25/75, or 10/90, in order for marriage to work it has to be 50/50 on everything. Talking is also a major part of marriage.

Who told you marriage was 50/50?
You should tell that person not to spread lies.  Grin
Marriage is 100/100 mixed with lots of forgiveness.

My marriage is not perfect because I'm in it.
Most of the time, my husband gives 100%.
Most of the time, I give 100%.
When one of us fails to give 100%, the other forgives.

musicllover- I've read your post and I will be in prayer for you.
Logged

I'm not following a God that's imagined.
Can't invent His deity.
That's why Jesus is the final answer
To Who I want my God to be.
He's Who I want my God to be.
-  Who? by Peter Furler and Steve Taylor (Newsboys)
sincereheart
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 4832


"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


View Profile WWW
« Reply #21 on: August 15, 2004, 07:20:51 AM »

Itís Not Right.

Itís not easy watching Jesus wash these feet.

To see the hands of God massaging the toes of men is, well . . . itís not right. The disciples should be washing his feet. Nathanael should pour the water. Andrew should carry the towel. But they donít. No one does. Rather than serve, they argue over which one is the greatest (Luke 22:24).

What disappointment their words must have brought Jesus.

"Iím the number one apostle."

"No, Iím much more spiritual than you."

"You guys are crazy. I brought more people to hear Jesus than anyone."

As they argue, the basin sits in the corner, untouched. The towel lies on the floor, unused. The servantís clothing hangs on the wall, unworn. Each disciple sees these things. Each disciple knows their purpose. But no one moves, except Jesus. As they bicker, he stands.

But he doesnít speak. He removes his robe and takes the servantís wrap off of the wall. Taking the pitcher, he pours the water into the basin. He kneels before them with the basin and sponge and begins to wash. The towel that covers his waist is also the towel that dries their feet.

Itís not right.

Isnít it enough that these hands will be pierced in the morning? Must they scrub grime tonight? And the disciples . . . do they deserve to have their feet washed? Their affections have waned; their loyalties have wavered.

We want to say . . .

Look at John, Jesus. This is the same John who told you to destroy the city. The same John who demanded that you censure a Christ-follower who wasnít in your group. Why are you washing his feet?

And James! Skip James. He wanted the seat of honor. He and his brother wanted special treatment. Donít give it to him. Give him the towel. Let him wash his own feet. Let him learn a lesson.

And while you are at it, Jesus, you might as well skip Philip. He told you there wasnít enough food to feed the large crowd. You tested him, and he flunked. You gave him the chance, and he blew it.

And Peter? Sure, these are the feet that walked on water, but theyíre also the feel that thrashed about in the deep. He didnít believe you. Sure he confessed you as the Christ, but heís also the one who told you that you didnít have to die. He doesnít deserve to have his feet washed.

None of them do. When you were about to be stoned in Nazareth, did they come to your defense? When the Pharisees took up rocks to kill you, did they volunteer to take your place? You know what they have done.

And whatís more, you know what they are about to do!

You can already hear them snoring in the garden. They say theyíll stay awake, but they wonít. Youíll sweat blood; theyíll saw logs.

You can hear them sneaking away from the soldiers. They make promises tonight. Theyíll make tracks tomorrow.

Look around the table, Jesus. Out of the twelve, how many will stand with you in Pilateís court? How many will share with you the Roman whip? And when you fall under the weight of the cross, which disciple will be close enough to spring to your side and carry your burden?

None of them will. Not one. A stranger will be called because no disciple will be near.

Donít wash their feet, Jesus. Tell them to wash yours.

Thatís what we want to say. Why? Because of the injustice? Because we donít want to see our King behaving as a servant? God on his hands and knees, his hair hanging around his face? Do we object because we donít want to see God washing feet?

Or do we object because we donít want to do the same?

Stop and think for a minute. Donít we have some people like the disciples in our world?

Double-tongued promise-breakers. Fair-weather friends. What they said and what they did are two different things. Oh, maybe they didnít leave you alone at the cross, but maybe they left you alone with the bills . . .
Or your question.
Or your illness.
Or maybe you were just left at the altar,
Or in the cold,
Holding the bag.
Vows forgotten.
Contract abandoned.

Logic says: "Put up your fists."
Jesus says: "Fill up the basin."
Logic says: "Bloody his nose."
Jesus says: "Wash his feet."
Logic says: "She doesnít deserve it."
Jesus says: "Youíre right, but you donít, either.

I donít understand how God can be so kind to us, but he is. He kneels before us, takes our feet in his hands, and washes them. Please understand that in washing the disciplesí feet, Jesus is washing ours. You and I are in this story. We are at the table. Thatís us being cleansed, not from our dirt, but from our sins.

And the cleansing is not just a gesture; it is a necessity. Listen to what Jesus said: "If I donít wash your feet, you are not one of my people" (John 13:Cool.

Jesus did not say, "if you donít wash your feet." Why not? Because we cannot cleanse our own filth. We cannot remove our own sin. Our feet must be in his hands.

Donít miss the meaning here. To place our feet in the basin of Jesus is to place the filthiest parts of our lives into his hands. In the ancient East, peopleís feet were caked with mud and dirt. The servant of the feast saw to it that the feet were cleaned. Jesus is assuming the role of the servant. He will wash the grimiest part of your life.

If you let him. The water of the Servant comes only when we confess that we are dirty. Only when we confess that we are caked with filth, that we have walked forbidden trails and followed the wrong paths.

We tend to be proud like Peter and resist. "Iím not that dirty, Jesus. Just sprinkle a few drops on me and Iíll be fine."

What a lie! "If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (I John 1:Cool.

We will never be cleansed until we confess we are dirty. We will never be pure until we admit we are filthy. And we will never be able to wash the feet of those who have hurt us until we allow Jesus, the one we have hurt, to wash ours.

You see, that is the secret of forgiveness. You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you. Only by letting him wash your feet can you have strength to wash those of another.

Still hard to imagine? Is it still hard to consider the thought of forgiving the one who hurt you?

If so, go one more time to the room. Watch Jesus as he goes from disciple to disciple. Can you see him? Can you hear the water splash? Can you hear him shuffle on the floor to the next person? Good. Keep that image.

John 13:12 says, "when he had finished washing their feet . . ."

Please note, he finished washing their feet. That means he left no one out. Why is that important? Because that also means he washed the feet of Judas. Jesus washed the feet of his betrayer. He gave his traitor equal attention. In just a few hours Judasís feet would guide the Roman guard to Jesus. But at this moment they are caressed by Christ.

Thatís not to say it was easy for Jesus.

Thatís not to say it is easy for you.

That is to say that God will never call you to do what he hasnít already done.
Logged



Shammu
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 34862


B(asic) I(nstructions) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth)


View Profile WWW
« Reply #22 on: August 16, 2004, 02:56:37 AM »

A man should act with kindness, be willing to listen to his wife. Value her input, and be willing to act on what is going on around him. Remember that Marriage is a 50/50 deal, not 25/75, or 10/90, in order for marriage to work it has to be 50/50 on everything. Talking is also a major part of marriage.

Who told you marriage was 50/50?
You should tell that person not to spread lies.  Grin
Marriage is 100/100 mixed with lots of forgiveness.

My marriage is not perfect because I'm in it.
Most of the time, my husband gives 100%.
Most of the time, I give 100%.
When one of us fails to give 100%, the other forgives.

musicllover- I've read your post and I will be in prayer for you.

50% give 50% take equals 100%, and yes lots of forgiveness.
Logged

sincereheart
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 4832


"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


View Profile WWW
« Reply #23 on: August 16, 2004, 07:01:35 AM »

I'm not sure discussions of what SHOULD be help much.  Undecided Ideals are great as long as both are on the same page with them. Since people aren't perfect, though, what remains is how to deal with less than ideal circumstances!  Lips Sealed


"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the

imperfections."


~from an e-mail
Logged



musicllover
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 418


Seek ye first the kingdom of God.........


View Profile
« Reply #24 on: August 22, 2004, 12:12:21 AM »

I'm not sure discussions of what SHOULD be help much.  Undecided Ideals are great as long as both are on the same page with them. Since people aren't perfect, though, what remains is how to deal with less than ideal circumstances!  Lips Sealed


"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the

imperfections."


~from an e-mail

Sincereheart,
                   more words of wisdom, we aren't on the same page in what we want, or how to get what we need. His ways are always opposite of mine. And no I have no say in how things are done. They simply aren't done or he does them the way he wants. Not EVER TIME, but most of the time its his way or no way.
     I am going to try a different Church tomorrow, he told me to do what ever I wanted but with his teeth clenched and jaw set ridged......
      HOW does a women submit to something that she knows isn't working? When does a wife have the right to not submit? I know that submit doesn't mean to illegal activity, but what in money, sex, and church? I am not an equal partner in any of those things. What is submission and does it appy to today?

musicllover
Logged

musicllover
sincereheart
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 4832


"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


View Profile WWW
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2004, 01:22:12 AM »

Submit simply means to yield.  Smiley

Since there seems to be a lot of areas of contention between you, I would suggest not planning to do ANYTHING right away... except pray and read your Bible! Don't look at tomorrow or next week or anywhere down the line.

Start each day with prayer! Ask the Lord to give you your *spiritual* bread for this day only! Look at it as food. Don't worry about next week's or next month's. Ask for enough to get through one day. One 'meal' at a time. Don't expect it to all be fixed at once but do accept that no problems are bigger than God! None! There is nothing that God can't handle. The hard part is KNOWING that He will handle them - in His time and His way once they're turned over to Him!

End your day with prayer! Tell God ALL your complaints - He knows them anyway Wink. Tell Him why you're upset about your husband, tell Him what you want in your marriage, everything!

Then remember back to why you married your husband in the first place. What did you see in him then? What good is there in him now that you can see? If he died right now, what would you miss about him? Is there still any good left in him?

Walk by faith and just take it one step at a time!  Undecided




Logged



Pages: 1 [2] Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  



More From ChristiansUnite...    About Us | Privacy Policy | | ChristiansUnite.com Site Map | Statement of Beliefs



Copyright © 1999-2019 ChristiansUnite.com. All rights reserved.
Please send your questions, comments, or bug reports to the

Powered by SMF 1.1 RC2 | SMF © 2001-2005, Lewis Media