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17
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Fellowship / You name it!! / Re:Must Have 800 Number
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on: September 05, 2003, 11:07:40 PM
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Well, I think I will call that number! I don't like America, I don't like all of the stupid stupid laws there are! Do you think they could relocate me someplace nice over in Europe?
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19
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Theology / Apologetics / Another Christian Reminder!
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on: September 05, 2003, 07:48:53 PM
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Here is another joke from a friend of mine:
Dart Test A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith.
She says Dr. Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons.
One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day.
On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.
Sally's girlfriend drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother.
Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.
The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats.
As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall.
Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.
Dr. Smith said only these words...
"In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:40.
No other words were necessary; the tear filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.
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20
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Theology / Apologetics / Christian Reminder!
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on: September 05, 2003, 07:46:04 PM
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Here is another joke from a friend of mine:
IN GOD WE TRUST ...
I was sitting at a stop light this morning. The lady in front of me was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she did not obey its command. You know, a green light is a commandment - NOT a suggestion. When the light turned to red, and she had still not moved, I began (with my windows up) screaming epithets and beating on my steering wheel.
My expressions of distress were interrupted by a policeman, gun drawn, tapping on my window. Against my protestations of, "You can't arrest me for hollering in my car," he ordered me into the back seat of his.
After about two hours in a holding cell, the arresting officer advised me I was free to go. I stormed out at him, "I knew you couldn't arrest me for yelling in my own car. You haven't heard the last of this."
The officer replied, "I didn't arrest you for shouting in your car. I was directly behind you at the light. I saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel, and I said to myself, "What a jerk. But there is nothing I can do to him for throwing a fit in his own car. Then I noticed the 'Cross' hanging from your rear view mirror, the bright yellow 'Choose Life' license tag, the 'Jesus is Coming Soon' bumper sticker, and the Fish symbol, and I thought you must have stolen the car!" -----------------------------------------
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22
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Theology / Apologetics / Christian Joke!
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on: September 05, 2003, 07:15:19 PM
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I don't mean to be rude but, here's the joke:
An Atheist
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a Christian."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
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She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."
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26
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Theology / Apologetics / Re:In God I Trust by Judge Roy Moore
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on: September 04, 2003, 07:39:49 PM
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This country was founded upon Christianinty, that is a Christian monument and should be left alone! I really hate it when non-Christians complain about Christian things like that and other things, when we don't even say anything about other religions being taught in our public schools!
Also another thing that bugs me, is that you can't pray in public schools and I don't mean loud and disterbing other people; I mean quietly before eating lunch. Yet, other kids from other religions can do stuff like there version of a prayer or stuff like that! WHERE IS THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH FOR CHRISTIANS THERE?
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27
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Theology / General Theology / Re:What do you think of President Bush?
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on: July 23, 2003, 04:47:40 PM
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Ok, here is another thing when he was running for office he said that he would get vouchers for Christian parents that send they're child to a Christian school and not have to pay taxes for public schools. He just probably made up the part about him being a Christian to get all of the Christian people's votes. And I've heard that he did some things that just aren't Christian like.
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29
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Theology / General Theology / Re:What do you think of President Bush?
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on: July 22, 2003, 01:07:15 PM
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Religion: I have to ask why you guys don’t think he is a Christian? What has he done? He lied about the weapons of mass destruction; the hole reason we practically went to war. And he just doesn't act very Christianly. I bet he just tried to fake being a Christian to get all the Christians to like him.
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