my testimony...(partial)

I posted this under the porn (adults only) thread i guess i was suppose to post our testimonies here, this is just part of my testimony, forgive me, yous who have read it under the other thread..just felt to post it..I know there are soo sooo many people both male and female out there that have similar testimony's, this as i said is part, the only part i feel to share at this time,, God is Good, and To him the Glory goes.. thru this and all the time!
Love to you all..
Michelle (aka Tiger_lily33)

I to have a testimony, as does every child of God wether he took them outta the things of the world or mercifully kept them from the things this old work has to offer.. that to me is a blessed testimony..i guess id have to say that with me.. my testimony goes a little along the lines of being a sexual abuse survivor and gods amazing grace that has brought me thru and has allowed me to life a much more normal life in this aspect then alot of other "survivors" that i know personally that are not saved and leaning on the everlasting arms of my saviour.. He truly will see us thru any thing the world throws at us..
I was at the young age of 4 yrs old the first time i was molested or plainly raped and had a man that was roughly 25 or so lock me in a room and perform oral.. i wont do details.. but it only started there.. it was a cousin of mine.. and soon after another 4 or so brothers all much older then me decided i was fair play and they were so good at hiding this and scaring me into keeping it quiet and hid, that no one knew till i was much older.. this went on from age 4 to roughly 17 yrs of age.. and i can attest to the fact that porn was absolutley behind it..and also some of these people had been victims themselves and hadnt been able to get past and thru and became the very thing they hated most in thier lives.., a big part of the issue today with me is most of these men live in close to me, in my home town and the town and city close to me.. some have come and tried to apologise but at same time try to excuse themselves saying they were young and didnt know better..when i was 4-17 they were 20"s to late 30s and early 40s..as a young person.. having had this most of my life i became somewhat loose in my relationships thining that even tho my parents taught me right from wrong (they had no idea.. they were devestated when told, but these people were family and the last people any one would suspect, and thinsg would happen when family was together to play and visit.) so even tho i was taught and brought up in a God fearin church and family.. it seems to be what was a normal thing to happen.. and for a long time i was made to feel that unless i performed and allowed things to happen.. then i coldnt keep someone in my life..
Now thank God i have been maried to a christian man for nigh to 15 yrs now and have 2 wonderful boys, God has blessed me.. i cant deny that i have my times of night mares and day terrors and night terrors and flash backs and all things that come from years of abuse but God sees me thru..
so Bronze and you others that are sickened with porn and what they do to them precious , precious innocent babies and even older people and spouses that use porn to get ideas on how to degrade and abuse and so forth , i commend your speaking up and out about it.. and i fully agree and even tho it is tearing me right now to speak up about my life..its to say,, God is Good.. ALLL the time.. and He wil never leave us nor forsake us no matter the circumstances in our lives.. and we all have things we can thinak Him for and all have a testimony that deserves being brought out..
Again Bronze thanks for bring this topic to the forum..I pray it will be for the glory of Gods amazing grace.. God bless you BrSn and you others that have replied.
Hugs...
(just keep me in prayer.. but especially the innocent babies and yes,, the souls of the creeps and the pimps and the sellers and buyers, as sick and twisted and as much as we'd like to do them in with our own hands or to see them suffer... God came to save the lost. and bro's and sis's they are men (and women) most miserable.. and need God desperately.. i know praying for them is so hard, and seeing the victims is so heart wrenching.. But we were all sinners but for the grace of Amighty God.. there i go...

Luv and hugs to ya'll
Tigerlily