SOMETHING I FELT THE LORD SPEAKING TO ME

Last Wednsday i went about doing my usual things around the house and what not. I got a day off from work, so i decided to take care of a few things around the house. I turned on my favorite Sarah Brightman cd and started cleaning up the house. Amazingly God always finds the most crazyest time to speak to you. I write poetry and songs, and im starting to freestyle rap as well. I started to freestyle randomly off the top of my head and for some reason in the middle of it all I said "James 3:16 says..." and then I paused and I opened up to what James 3:16 read. So here's what it says, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." That blew me away, and thats when God said, "Olia, everything that you see w/ your physical eyes, all the friendship ties you have w/ most people in church, all the problems that you face that have caused to you envy and be all ambitious, all of that needs to die to you." And I was like, "Well God, what do you mean by this?" God tried to show me this pictorally and he showed me this picture of one of the people that i was extremely tied to from my church that i fully depended on everything and all, this person in the picture is lying dead inside a coffin. God showing me pictures like that, I still didnt understand what He tried to tell me. Untill God said, "Olia you need to let go of the problems you are facing w/ this person, the homosexuality you are battling towards this person, you need to stop IDOLIZING and depending on certain other people in church, you need to let go COMPLETELY of the fact and struggle to forgive your father and you need to let go of what is left of your broken family and how you can fix all of that. You need to let go of all these things, because they need to die right in front of you mentaly."

For me, i didnt realize that this was God's preporation to give me the gift of tongues that following night at church. I shared this word w/ my church and the message was confirmed 2 more times after that, but this time not from me, God also spoke through Pastor Mike and Pastor Kevin as well. When the Lord said, "You need to let all that stuff die to you" it meant that i was focusing on all my problems in the past weeks and months that i totally shut the door for the spiritual stuff to come in. When we focus too hard on what is going on in our lives, weather its a failing marriage, or money, or dependance on other people, people we see as role-models, as human beings we tend to idolize all that. and we dont see that we just built an asherah pole on the high place where the Holy Spirit needs to take over.

Now i dont know if im even speaking to anyone that is gonna be reading this, but weather you are struggling in marriage, or like me its w/ homosexuality, or you've been focusing on other things a little to much when you should be focusing on God more than ever, or you have closely tied yourself to someone else weather in your church of workplace or whatever. You need to let that go and let the spiritual take place, just let all that junk go, release it and let it rott or something. Maybe God will even open up a verse for you too sometime soon. But just let all of that go, give it up to God if you dont have the strength to let it all go yourself and He will take care of it all. Trust me, once you get filled w/ the Holy Spirit, its one heck of a ride, and like my buddy Dustin put it, "Getting baptized in the Holy Spirit is like your spiritual 21st birthday."