Oh, Kathy I'm so sorry! You've really had to walk a very hard road. I wish I knew what to say. We'll take good care of you here, I can tell you that. We've got a lot of really good prayer warriors. And of course, if you'd like to talk about it, we're happy to lift you up any way we can. When my father died, it was really a very difficult thing because everyone grieves differently. Some want to hide all the pictures and give away all the personal affects. For others it helps to have those things around. Some want to talk about it, others want to never mention it again. And sometimes it's hard to find a fit. Just give yourself the time you need to grieve in whatever way suits you best. I wish I knew what to say.