Our church offers free christian family counseling, but they can't get us in for another two weeks. My hasband has agreed to go. He's a good man, and I agree that he feels he has to please his mother, however, I should be first in his life (second only to God) like he is to me. He said that he would do this - but he's still letting her call all the time and not telling her it's time to stop. I want to believe him, but the past keeps telling me it's not going to change. It's very frustrating, and I appreciate that I'm able to get advice here since my husband and I struggle to discuss it. Thank you.
When I mentioned christian counseling I was thinking of a christian psychologist. I have nothing against christian counseling from a minister, pastor, etc. but sometimes one NEEDS to speak with a psychologist, a christian preferably. From my perspective, your mother-in-law is sowing discord into your marriage by using two of your children. I don't know why she's doing this. A psychologist will be able to zero in on her behavior and subsequently tell you and your husband how to deal with her. Hopefully, your church has christian PSYCHOLOGISTS. This IS important!! I cannot emphasize this enough.
Blessedmom, I see so much HOPE for you and your husband. He's agreeing to go to counseling. The psychologist will help him to see the "big picture". Then, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you guys will be able to take Godly action. It won't be easy, but God will give you the grace. I'm sure you're praying about this situation. Just keep praying and ask God for His wisdom. Pray that the blinders be lifted from you and your husbands eyes.
You said you wanted to believe your husband but the past was getting in the way. You're partially correct. The past IS a good indicator of the future, unless some kind of intervention takes place. For whatever reason, it seems he's still connected to his mother in an unhealthy way. Once your hubby sees the "big picture", he will learn that he must follow through on what he says he's going to do. He'll learn to take control (in a Godly way, the way God intended) instead of allowing his mother to control. I know he probably doesn't see his mother as a controller. And, I'm sure his mother doesn't see herself as a controller, either. Here is where the problem lies, (blinders) and here's where a psychologist can show you exactly what is going on. This won't be an easy thing to do. He's going to need your support. I know, I know, it's YOU who needs the support. If your hubby is open to the info he gets from psychological counseling, and follows through, you will eventually have his support, too.
Hang in there until you can get to a christian psychologist. You might want to start calling around in your area to get the names of christian psychologists if there aren't any at your home church. Check the yellow pages for christian counselors. Call different churches and ask them if they have any names. You can do whatever you want, but I suggest you insist on a psychologist. I'm looking at the time factor when I suggest this. If you guys don't get the "right kind" of help, you'll just have to start all over again.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, I ask You to give this couple Your wisdom. Bless them, Father. Give them strength and courage. Father, I pray for the mother (mother-in-law). Send your Holy Spirit to convict her of Your love. Father, put people in her path that need her. Keep her busy with Your work, Lord God. Amen
God bless,
cris
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