Well, unfortunately you have no choice in the matter. It's a command "to love they neighbor as thyself." And it doesn't matter who that neighbor is, whether it's your grandmother or Bin Laden.
The key to this is how we love or how we approach the attempt to love. If you try to do it on your own, you will most likely fail, as in most things that we try to do on our own. But if you allow Christ to do it through you then it becomes much easier every time you do it. Think of how Jesus died for you while you were still his enemy. There was nothing in you (or any of us) that was appealing because of our sin. And yet "even while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:
He didn't wait for us to be more likeable or to do something that would make him proud of us or want to be around us. He did it while we were still his enemy. If you try and remember that, then loving others who aren't family members or freinds becomes much easier.
But on that note, I'd like you to look at Matthew 10:37-38:
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." Basically Jesus is saying that even though you may love your father and mother (and I'm sure you do) that your love for Him must be greater. The best way I can illustrate this is this way. If your parents asked you to do something that you knew was against God's instruction, would you do it? Jesus commands us to follow his instructions completely, with no wavering to the right or the left.
As far as people like Bin Laden are concerned, the one thing I do first is to not associate the sin with the sinner. By that I mean that Bin Laden is lost just like a large portion of the rest of the world. And when you break it down, he's a sinner just like you and I are. The only difference is that we've accepted the gift of grace and Bin Laden hasn't. And unlike our system of government that hands out different levels of penalties for breaking the law (a different sentence for murder as opposed to a parking ticket) God doesn't see it that way. All sin is sin, bottom line. And what an unsaved person has in their life is Satan with free reign to use them as he wishes. Without Jesus in one's life, the sin nature can lead someone to do things that could be quite disturbing.
I hope this helps. I've struggled with this before so I can certainly identify with you.
In Christ Alone,
Stephen