God is Amazing!

I came from many dark places in my youth and I seemed to draw on these experiences as an adult. I started going out with this guy who I had dated when I was 19. We hadn't seen or talked to each other for 15 years, and out of the blue he called me. well I started to remember real fast why I had left him all those years ago. He was abusive, mentally, and physically.Well,the relationship had progressed to where I was living with him.I used to watch the 700 club on TV as it was the only church I had. One day I called and was saved when I spoke with someone on the phone. I felt like I was floating The person on the other end was astounded because she said she could feel it too! Well I continued in this relationship and I wound up getting pregnant. I was happy with my pregnancy and was getting really attached to my growing baby. His emotional and mental abuse seemed to get worse though. I started having cramps about 17 weeks into my pregnancy and I got to the hospital. My water broke in the emergency room admitting area after the nurse went to get a Dr. I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to not want to let go and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it! I remember feeling the baby move on the inside of my leg after I lost him. I had to wait there for an hour with my baby still attached while the OB was called in.During that time my boyfriend arrived and proceeded to open cabinets and drawers to look for drugs. Thankfully I was taken out of there and wheeled upstairs. They brought the baby into me afterwards which I thought was cruel, I couldn't hold him I just looked at him and cried. That was Saturday night, On Monday the shock had worn off and I was in Deep grief. I had the 700 club on as usual and this day they had whats called a "good report" There was a woman telling a story about how the Dr.'s were telling her to have an abortion , that she would have a defective baby , when Pat Robertson had a "word of knowledge" that her baby would be fine, in the next clip she was bouncing her baby on her knee. This sent me into fresh tears of agony! Well after that story they went into prayer and this is what I heard:"There's another woman, It's like you're crying out in your womb for a child, I believe the name is Tina, God is gonna answer your prayer, as you have seen faith build up God is gonna give you the desires of your heart" WOW did I sit up straight after I heard that! I called the show and asked "is the show taped live?" I was told it was and told the person on the other end that I claimed a word and decided right there and then that if God was going to honor that prayer, then I needed to get away from this abusive man.

I had no money but I knew I had to get out of there. I called my friend Tammy and she told me to just come that we'd make it work. She had a small apartment, and a kid, plus her live-in boyfriend. I had 3 cats. I had to wait for a time that he was out and make a run for it before he came back. Having no job that made it hard , But he finally went out and I had a small window of about a half hour to gather all my things, my cats, and get away. I remember the fear and panic that overwhelmed me as I tried to do this before he came home. I finally was free!! I drove about an hour into the next state and settled in to my friends house. I looked for a job, and in the meantime, Her mother hired me to clean her house from top to bottom for 10 dollars an hour. When I was through she asked me to come stay with her. I managed to get hired at the hospital into the housekeeping staff. I learned that if you worked at your position for 6 months you can transfer to a dept. of choice and they paid for education too. I chose radiology and started working in that job as an aide. I was then told about 2 weeks later that they hired a new tech and there was not enough in the budget for my position any longer! I could float in the system, going to different hospitals, with no benifits if I wanted to stay. I chose to just leave. I packed up my things and moved again. I moved to a beach area that has a lot of hotels and clubs. It was March so the rates were off season, I found a weekly rental, and a job as a waitress. A year had now gone by and I met someone that I was interested in dating,after a few months, all the familiar feelings came back. Anxiety, Anger, the feeling that I was not good enough, This man was another abuser!! I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried out to the Lord With all my heart If I can't have a good kind man, then I will just love you Lord. I meant that with every ounce of my soul. I just continued working and one day, 2 weeks later, my favorite band came to town Tesla. The morning of the show I found myself so filled with joy, I was singing my favorite song from this band "love song" " Love will find a way Love is knocking out side your door" I was just walking around the beach singing this song at the top of my lungs. Well during this time, apperently members of the band were at the restaurant I worked having breakfast . When I came in all the other girls had tickets and I had to work The place was dead that night. I went outside to try to bring customers in. I managed to bring in one guy who said his friends were in the concert, and he was not able to find any tickets. We flirted a bit, he was a good looking guy and I gave him great service. How could I help it ? He was my only customer.He wrote his phone number on the bill, I copied it down and tucked it away. I was on my way home and just before I turned on my street, I saw a girl I knew. I knew she had tickets to the concert. I stopped and asked her why she was not at the show, Tesla just came on. She told me she was stood up and would I like her ticket?I told her I would love to have it, and I went right to the concert. I went in during one of my favorite songs and while I was standing there watching the show, A light hit the cross on the singers neck and it dawned on me this is my times 7! In January I listened to a sermon where a preacher was saying whatever the devil takes from you the Lord returns back times 7. While I was with that awful man I had sold almost all I had to support us including my CDs Tesla being one of them. I remember thinking of this in January as the preacher spoke. This ticket and experience was certainly far more than the cost of a CD! I was even more overjoyed with this realization. Well the next day I called Rick. We made a date for the following Tuesday. I was still reading the word daily and staying close to the Lord. We had a great date and found we had a lot in common. We kept on seeing each other, and Then he asked me to attend this annual July 4th party he goes to. We were on the beach kissing, and he tried to pursue things further, I wanted to do things God's way this time and had decided after I had cried out to the Lord that was exactly what I was gonna do. It proved difficult for me as well. We were very attracted to each other. He asked me how I could know If someone was compatable if you weren't with them sexually.. I told him it was blind faith thats all. Well as the night wore on he continued to wear me down and pursue forbidden pleasure, and things proceeded a lot further than I wanted them to. Before I left him for the night I banged my tailbone on the seatbelt of his truck so hard it was sore for at least 3 months! The next day July 5th I opened my devotional to the day and was greeted with: So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust,and shameful desires. Don't be greedy for the good things of this life for that is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 I was devastated I felt awful for the way I behaved and was strongly convicted. When Rick came to pick me up that night I expressed the way I felt and why and told him as much as I liked him, If he couldn't accept my conditions, then we would not be able to date anymore, I was bawling like a baby. Rick was touched by my devotion to the Lord. He wanted to keep seeing me and promised to respect my wishes. Rick was saved a couple of weeks later with no encouragement from me when he got up to recieve an alter call. I was overjoyed! He asked me to marry him shortly after that. In fact we were married 3 months to the day that we met. He loves me for exactly who I am. I couldn't be happier. Tesla will be in town during the week of our Anniversary, we will be going to the show together