relationship advice/reassurance needed!

[purple85]

hi there. ok...to give a brief overview of the situation i'm in..basically, i got into a relationship with a guy (4 months ago) because i believe i heard God told me that 'he is the one you will marry'...if i hadn't have heard God tell me clearly i wouldnt have persued anything at all...the relationship started off well, and i gave my all, i let myself fall in love...but then things started to get confusing...he started picking on negative things in me, for example the fact that i am quite shy...and basically it took a while and numerous confusing times, but hes now decided its best for it to be just friends..which to be honest is a bit of a relief for me, although hard emotionally

the point is, his previous girlfriend was actually his fiancee, he had been with her for quite some time and she broke it off in the end...of course he was most likely and probably still is broken hearted from this situation...

thinking about it now i think that he wasnt really thinking very clearly about how to go about another relationship...and in a way i think i became a replacement for what he'd lost...a rebound relationship..

anyhow...basically now i have a few questions to ask ya'll..i really do believe God did speak to me, but obviously this situation has caused a few doubts to form in me and so im going to seek God for more guidance and clear confirmation. im obviously not going to get involved in any relationships in the meantime, but im also not going to try to focus on him too much incase it all was a mistake.

but as for questions...can it be possible that because of his previous relationship he isnt able to see me in the clear way he shud...is he comparing me to her and therefore not loving me for who i really am... if he is released from this, and after a few years with God will he be able to truelly see me for who i am and hence fall in love with me in the way that i was fallin in love with him... it is a bit hard for me to see him just as a friend now because of lettin myself grow attached to his person/character and lovin him...but im gonna try and just grow myself into thinking that nothing happened and that we are just normal friends.... do u have any advice for me in how i can make this situation easier or what i shud do? should i speak to him more or less? shud i just leave him alone and ignore him, or be more friendly?

hope this makes some sense to someone out there!

[Shylynne]

Hello and welcome purple  
You said you are willing to seek God for more guidance and  confirmation, and this is exactly what you need to do. Feelings and emotions are not very reliable things to base lifes decisions on, as they can and usually do change, but when a child of God seeks answers, we must go to Him alone, thru prayer and fasting and reading the Word. If you 'feel' God has told you something, prove it is  really His voice by the same method.  He knows what plans He has for you, keep looking to Christ!  

[sincereheart]

What Shylynne said!  




purple85,
I don't mean to sound rude; but are you a male or a female?

[purple85]

LOL um...im female!! why do u ask!? hm..

[alliecat]

Last spring I was head over heels for a guy who barely knew I existed. I prayed and prayed for something to develop between us but it never did. One day I quit obsessing and in a very frustrated state asked God "what is it I need to do" and very clearly I heard "be patient". I was so convinced that I really heard an answer that it caused me to want to renew my faith in christ. Well, I was patient and that guy never came around but now I have met a wonderful guy. Funny thing is, he wants to take it slow which tests my patience, but I still hear God's words from that one day. If I feel this guy is worth it I will be patient and leave it up to the lord to control our relationship. So, basically, I am telling you to do the same. Be patient and leave it up to the lord. If it's meant to be it will happen and in the meantime there isn't a thing you can do. Keep the faith. It's working for me so far!