What is Your fondest desire ?

[BlackmanX]

  I am 19 years old and  I  feel quite bored with this life.  I have traveled further than any of my  peers  back on the island of  Haiti.  I have  come from  Haiti to the USA  and settled  in Boston. I have  made  it  through  high school and  even survived freshman  year of  college.  I made new friends.  I embraced new ideas.    I  met  interesting  young ladies  and  good  people and for the most part a  good time was had by all.  I  had enlightening experiences.  I  volunteered my  time  to  help  people  stricken with  HIV.   I  helped  people  and saw men and women in  a whole new light.  I  developed  my  skills as  a writer and  I am  recently  published.   My  family is proud of me  and  I am  proud  of  them.  
 

My  father  Francois  is  in good  health and he and my mom Elsie  are still together after  20  years of marriage and 2 kids.
Their business is  doing ok.  My  diabetic  little sister Anne is in good health (thank  God !).  I  am  living in  Boston  with my aunt  Gabrielle,  her  husband  Louie and their kids  Cassie and Shelby.   They are  good  people.   I have found   good friends in  Karl  and  Evans.   I  go to  a  decent  house of worship  (7th day adventist).

 This  is my life and  I  have a  lot  to  be thankful  for.

  But  sometimes  I  begin  to despair........over  finding a  love of my own.   A  woman  who  will  love  me  for  who I am and accept me  and  in  return  i will  love her and be with her and  make our lives great  and  never  stray  from  the  good path if  I can  help  it.   I  sometimes  dream of  raising children and being  happy.   Sometimes  I feel  envy  for married men and women  i see with  their  children.   But when I see the bitterness  of  divorce  ripping  through  people's  lives,  I feel fear and wonder  if  there  is  still  love in  the  world.

  I  just  want  someone  for  ME.   A  love  of my own.  
That is my  fondest  desire  and  I have  never  had  it.  I dont  
know why.  I am tall and black and a  good-looking  fella.  I have dated  girls.   My life is  okay.

 So  why can't  my  fondest  desire come true ?  Why can't  I find a love of  my  own  ?  So  much  treachery and deceit out there,  I  sometimes  feel  fear  of  my  fellow  human beings.

 Ever  feel   like   I  do  ?

[WolfBrother]

BlackmanX,

I am 19 years old and  I  feel quite bored with this life.
.
.
.
This  is my life and  I  have a  lot  to  be thankful  for.\
.
.
.
Ever  feel  like  I  do  ?

This may come across a bit harsh but as a man over 50 all I can say to you is to:
continue to give thanks for the many blessings you have received,
continue to help people,
and finally wait another 5 to 7 years before starting to dispair about finding love

As a 19 yo male, the processes inside your head are still too young to be worrying about a mate, you need to give them another 5 to 7 years to mature.

As a generality
 - women mature younger - around 22/23 yo
 - men (if they ever do) mature around 24/26 yo.

I've been there/done that and have probably made all of the mistakes.  I've even learned a bit from the mistakes I've made and from mistakes I've seen friends make.  So, do continue to give thanks for the many blessings you've given, continue to do work to help people, continue to seek Christ, and have patience ( I remember being 19 and having patience was not something that came easily to me).

[BlackmanX]

Thanks for the advice,  Wolfbrother.

 Men and women are capable of  being mature and  thoughtful as well as  illogical and confusing.  dont assign maturity to one gender and deny it to another.  stereotypes  suck.  I  have seen immature yet sober  females  do things  I wouldnt  do even under the influence. (not that i drink) and I have seen  immature males do things I wouldnt  do  some stupid  things.  Men and women have brains  and  genitals.  They can  use  either for their  thought process.  It's  up to  them.   Peace.

[WolfBrother]

BlackmanX,

Not assigning maturity to one gender and denying it to the other.  Just passing on what I've learned and observed - as a generality <knowing exceptions always occur> - about the processes going on in  the heads of Males and Females over the years.  Specifically what I've been taught as  emotional maturity - i.e. "being grown up".

It takes a while.

Take care

[Gracey]

Re:What   is  Your  fondest  desire  ?

.....going home

[Willowbirch]

Re:What   is  Your  fondest  desire  ?

.....going home

Oh, how true! (Not that I'm mature enough to know.)  

[Jesusinme]

A baby! I am just waiting on The Lord

[archangel]

  I am 19 years old and  I  feel quite bored with this life.  I have traveled further than any of my  peers  back on the island of  Haiti.  I have  come from  Haiti to the USA  and settled  in Boston. I have  made  it  through  high school and  even survived freshman  year of  college.  I made new friends.  I embraced new ideas.    I  met  interesting  young ladies  and  good  people and for the most part a  good time was had by all.  I  had enlightening experiences.  I  volunteered my  time  to  help  people  stricken with  HIV.   I  helped  people  and saw men and women in  a whole new light.  I  developed  my  skills as  a writer and  I am  recently  published.   My  family is proud of me  and  I am  proud  of  them.  
 

My  father  Francois  is  in good  health and he and my mom Elsie  are still together after  20  years of marriage and 2 kids.
Their business is  doing ok.  My  diabetic  little sister Anne is in good health (thank  God !).  I  am  living in  Boston  with my aunt  Gabrielle,  her  husband  Louie and their kids  Cassie and Shelby.   They are  good  people.   I have found   good friends in  Karl  and  Evans.   I  go to  a  decent  house of worship  (7th day adventist).

 This  is my life and  I  have a  lot  to  be thankful  for.

  But  sometimes  I  begin  to despair........over  finding a  love of my own.   A  woman  who  will  love  me  for  who I am and accept me  and  in  return  i will  love her and be with her and  make our lives great  and  never  stray  from  the  good path if  I can  help  it.   I  sometimes  dream of  raising children and being  happy.   Sometimes  I feel  envy  for married men and women  i see with  their  children.   But when I see the bitterness  of  divorce  ripping  through  people's  lives,  I feel fear and wonder  if  there  is  still  love in  the  world.

  I  just  want  someone  for  ME.   A  love  of my own.  
That is my  fondest  desire  and  I have  never  had  it.  I dont  
know why.  I am tall and black and a  good-looking  fella.  I have dated  girls.   My life is  okay.

 So  why can't  my  fondest  desire come true ?  Why can't  I find a love of  my  own  ?  So  much  treachery and deceit out there,  I  sometimes  feel  fear  of  my  fellow  human beings.

 Ever  feel   like   I  do  ?

My fondest desires have already been met.  I have had 38 years of marriage to a good and loving man, raised a lovely and even more loving daughter and now have 2 beautiful grandchildren.  Even before all these good things, I had a loving mother and father who cared enough for me to teach me to love God first and foremost.  That gift was the best blessing I could ever have.  Jesus has been the love of my life and he has never let me down, failed to comfort me nor betrayed me.  I am so blessed and I despair for all those who have missed out on the joy of sharing deep and abiding love with others but I have learned one very important lesson that I can share with you.  If you want to find your heart's desire, make sure you know your own heart.  Before you search for someone else to fulfill your life's dream, have no doubts about your own ability to commit to someone else and that takes time to get to really know who you are.  You sound open-minded and have obviously had some enlightening life experiences, use them wisely and give yourself plenty of time to process what you have learned.  I am no spring chicken but I learn something new about life and living everyday.  Above all put Jesus Christ in the driver's seat and you won't have to worry about finding true happiness.

[Tibby]

Interesting life story. Not sure what it has to do with the topic at hand, but anyways...

This is the second post like this in the past week (see women’s section). This is normal. Everybody needs somebody. God puts this desire in us so the human race will procreate. In his own time God will deliver. In the mean time, enjoy this time you have single. There are a lot thing you can do now you will not be able to do when you are tied down. Just relax. Yeah, it gets lonely, but loneliness is an emotion you can deal with. God has your best interests in mind, trust me. He knows what he is doing, you might want to know her now, but he has a better plan. Just let him work it out.

[Sapphire W34P0N]

Re:What  is  Your  fondest  desire  ?

To have the most posts on this board.

PS: Not really.

[JudgeNot]

To see all my family and friends have everlasting life - along with whomever else I can 'drag' along.

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to All,

My fondest desire has already been granted, and I feel extremely blessed. I wanted a loving family with Christ as the head of the family. Now, I pray that my grandchildren will have the same thing.

There is some excellent advice here from many. I would summarize what I believe to be the most important things in life:

1 - Real happiness is always in and through Jesus Christ.

2 - Things don't give joy. The real riches in this short life are not material things.

3 - Pray and seek the will of Jesus. Wait upon the Lord and follow the path that will be most pleasing to HIM.

Love In Christ,
Tom