"To Each His Own"

[LMarsh]

I've heard this expression over and over.  Usually in the mainstream conversations when its someones behaviour thats not exactly "Christian"....ie. homosexuality, lying, etc.
My question is.....Is that what are attitude should be as Christians?  "To each his own?".
I don't think Jesus "condemned" anyone for their behavior.  I know he ate with sinners.  But what is our responsibility as Christians in this world thats becoming increasingly Un-Christian?  
I am trying to study the bible on this but my mind does become befuddled on this subject and there seems to be alot of discussion on homosexual marraige and other things here in the U.S.  I would like to have a response thats Christ-like and not just say "To Each His Own."
Thanks and God Bless,
LMarsh

[Gracey]

I'm not sure I'm totally following what you are looking for:

Are you asking what our behaviour should be as Christians? Do you mean our behaviour towards other Christians; others who call themselves Christians but don't follow the bible (like homosexuals getting married); or our behaviour towards non-Christians?

I Corinthians has much instruction in our treatment of each other:

1Co 5:1  It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife.
1Co 5:2  And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.
1Co 5:4  When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus,
1Co 5:5  you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.
1Co 5:9  I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people--
1Co 5:10  not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.
1Co 5:11  But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler--not even to eat with such a one.
1Co 5:12  For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?
1Co 5:13  God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you."

I think we have a responsibility to help each other to see when we are going wrong (it would be good to read I Corinthians 1-8; maybe 1 Corinthains 10 also):

1Co 6:9  Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,
1Co 6:10  nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
1Co 6:11  And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1Co 6:15  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
1Co 6:16  Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
1Co 6:17  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
1Co 6:18  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Co 6:19  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
1Co 6:20  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

And II Corinthians mentions how we should forgive those who are repentant:

2Co 2:5  Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure--not to put it too severely--to all of you.
2Co 2:6  For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough,
2Co 2:7  so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
2Co 2:8  So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.

Also Ephesians 5 has some good reading. 1 & II Timothy has some good instruction:

1Ti 2:1  First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,
1Ti 2:2  for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.
1Ti 2:3  This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior,
1Ti 2:4  who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
---------------------------------------
It sounds like you are aware of how much there is of this in the bible. Too much to post here.

Or are you purely looking for opinions?

Personally, the "do your own thing"  or "to each his own" philosophy is not that of the bible. The bible exhorts us to follow the commandments and to share the good news of Christ with everyone. I believe that people are more likely to receive that news if we approach the situation in love, rather than in wrath.

I let my "way of life"; my attitude towards Christ and whatever "fruits of the spirit" I have, speak first. If we listen to the spirit God has given us, we will know when the time is right to approach the person with words. A lot of people won't want to hear anything about God if they don't see Christ in you and in your actions; they just think we are hypocrites.

If we aren't at least striving to live a Christ-like life; if we aren't walking in love; if we aren't honouring Him, what kind of ambassadors would we be?

On the other hand, when Jesus sends the disciples out to preach the good news, he tells them to speak in the towns and cities, but if they won't hear then to "shake the dust of them off your feet". So, our responsibility is to make them aware of it, not to convert them to it. That work is done by the Holy Spirit.

I'm not sure I really addressed any of your question correctly, so forgive me if I totally went off the handle and missed it completely.

Gracey

[LMarsh]

Hi Gracey.
Thanks very much for your response.  It did help very much.  Before I became a Christian I would always say "To Each His Own".  Well talking with a friend I haven't spoken to in almost 6 mos....I found myself saying that same saying to an issue that was really someone elses business, that I really didn't want to hear about or gossip about and was unchristian.

This friend is not a Christian and I found most of our friendship was alot of gossip.  I don't see her much anymore as we live in different states.  Yet, we are going back to visit family in 2 weeks and will be seeing her.  

I just was wondering about my response to her.....which was an automatic thing I used to say.  And how I should approach these issues....since they will come up when we are visiting.
I don't want to appear "Holier than thou" and yet I want to Stand for the Lord where I should.   I guess I was a bit ashamed of myself for saying that old standby phrase of mine.  And wanting to arm myself with His Word and know what to say in the future.

Your response was very helpful....will come back to read it more indepth when the kiddos go to bed tonight.
God Bless,
LMarsh

[MalkyEL]

"to each his own" reminds me of a phrase that runs throughout the OT - "doing what is right in your own eyes" - which is doing things out of the will of God [scripts at the end of this post].

I can totally understand where you are coming from - as I used to be one of those people who loved to gossip.  I have been thinking about what kind of answer you could give without sounding "self-righteous" and "holier than thou" - been in that position, too  

Of course each person has their own personality and approach, but what if you suggest that you pray for the person that is brought up like right then   and then pray a simple prayer for that person immediately, before she can say no.  I think she will get the picture    

Just a thought . . .

Shalom, MalkyEL  

Psa 36:2 For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful.

Pro 3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Pro 12:15 The way of a fool [is] right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel [is] wise.

Pro 16:2 All the ways of a man [are] clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits.

Pro 21:2 Every way of a man [is] right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.

Isa 5:21 Woe unto [them that are] wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!

[Gracey]

This friend is not a Christian and I found most of our friendship was alot of gossip.

Ahhh, now I understand a little better. You could do as Malky has suggested, though it may not stop her. Prayer is always a good option, and we should be making it our first option, instead of our last (like we usually do). The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Let the Lord guide your own conversation and ask Him to give you the right words. I would hesitate to give you advice not knowing the person; some people respond right away if you tell them that gossip makes you uncomfortable (& why), some will go right on talking as if you never spoke.

Try to judge the way to approach her with this by the type of person she is. By "approach her" I don't meant go running up to her the first chance you get, but if you do spend time together and she does start to gossip, then you will want to take action.

Regardless of how you decide to approach her, there can only be one choice for you, as a christian - that is, of course, that we must not take part in "foolish ways" and stand firm for God. You should be honest with her about your feelings (no, that isn't always easy to do).

If you haven't read James yet (with this in mind) you might have a look there.

Here are a few from Proverbs (always a good book for honest & upright living) and Matthew.

Pro 10:18  The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.
Pro 10:19  When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Mat 15:11  it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."
Mat 15:17  Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled?
Mat 15:18  But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
Mat 15:19  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
Mat 15:20  These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone."


Gracey

[LMarsh]

Appreciate all your help!  I will read James tonight.  I was a bit trepidatious about posting my question and now I'm so glad I did.  I could use your prayers to be close to the Lord during my trip...to give me strength and walk in His ways.
God Bless You,
LMarsh