crossroads

[DovesWings]

Hi again

First off, let me say that I will NEVER deny the Lord God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit...my faith will never doubt in that area.

Here's my crossroad:
I've posted in the prayer section for my aunt.  She is in hospice now due to the pain from bone cancer.
Anyhow, she is/was my pastor, as is/was my uncle, her husband.  Well, since she opted out of any "conventional" treatment to get help, she has shunned my mom and in turn, me...and same w/ her daughter in law whom I was helping during her bedrest for her unborn twins(she is due in July).  
It's all over faith.  My aunt in believing in a total and Divine healing...which I do believe can and does occur.  I feel as though I have done something wrong.  
Is thinking that she should have gone conventionally taking away from my faith and therefore hindering any help she can get?  There are times when I feel like, fine, this is between her and God, who are we to judge that she won't get her healing?  Then comes the other part where I am like, well, wait...isn't that being persumptiuous to believe that God will chose you?  And then it goes back to ...but why wouldn't He?  He says to call upon His name, and if you have total faith, mountains can be moved....so who am I to even question that???  I do believe, and then I have so many others come at me and say...listen...she is just not thinking straight..God helps those who help themselves...she's being selfish, etc.  I get angry at them for saying that, yet at the same time I wonder and think that myself.  Then in my alone and prayer time I pray for the Lord to bless her, of course, and just let His will be done.  I feel as though I'm not good enough...but I do know that I have faith.  I know we are all at different levels of faith, etc...but I do have a strong faith.  I may not be as knowledgable as a LOT of ppl out there, but I am learning...as we all are.  
Since I am not fellowshipping at their church right now, I have been going to one that I went to b/f....another interdeonominational church.  
I don't know what to do, so what I do do is pray.
Do I sound totally ridiculous?  Am I making any sense???
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
Thanks so much and God bless!!!

[Gracey]

That's a tough one. I'm sorry about your aunt.

It's all over faith.  My aunt in believing in a total and Divine healing...which I do believe can and does occur.

I believe that too; in fact, I have seen it happen. No, not a fake healing, a real honest to mercy healing from a confirmed cancer. So I agree, it can and does happen; God does what God will.

I feel as though I have done something wrong.  
Is thinking that she should have gone conventionally taking away from my faith and therefore hindering any help she can get?

I don't think so.

However, if you are praying for a healing from God and that healing isn't part of God's plan, it may not occur. Sometimes, our time here is just up. He has our days numbered from the start.

When my dad was dying I knew from the get-go that he was dying because God told me so. I asked God a lot of questions during that short 3-week period. What I learned was to pray in God's will, no matter what it was. God was ready to take dad home, even if I wasn't. That 3 weeks was for us to get ready. What I did was thank God every day for the life He shared with us - God put my dad here and we were blessed by that. Dad's life was a gift to us.

It's a hard thing; God often does give us the desires of our hearts. But He knows what things are best for us, because he knows the end of the story and we don't. So, when we are faced with something we don't understand we can ask God - sometime we get an answer right away, sometimes it may not come for days; months; years, or we may never get an answer (which is an answer in itself).

This is not to say that we shouldn't see doctors or use conventional treatments; christians can be doctors too....

I don't know what to do, so what I do do is pray.

This is what God requires of us, and is the best and most effective thing we can do. God knows best what each of us need; who better to turn to?


blessings & peace
Gracey

[lampwicke]

Dear DovesWings,
It is difficult to discern sometimes as death approaches,why attitudes change in those we love. I will tell you of one thing I have learned? That any pain that a christian experiences in a terminal disease,nothing matters but that pain,nothing, even ones God! I saw/experienced this for several years before my wife went home to be with the Lord.All that I could cling to is/was Romans 8:28. Her spirit left her physical body approximately one month before her death occured,I saw this,and attributed it to our Gods mercy,so that her spirit not suffer pain any longer. I can see that this dilemma,has brought about spiritual questions within you? Our God teaches as He comforts,and allows us to experience other spiritual truths even in our pending deaths, for at no other time do we really evaluate our time ,purposes,and works ,in preparation for heavens arrival. I am a firm believer in Gods miraculous healing as well as His slower healing over time,even finishing that healing in heaven? So whatever your relatives motives,for shutting others out of her life at this time, is hers alone. It seems that the person who really hurts the most when a loved one leaves us here on earth for heaven, we are the one feeling the process of acceptance more than those who leave. They have already resolved the leaving, we may even go through the several steps of grief,even before they leave.Perhaps she knows this and in her acceptance of death,she also knows that   death is a part of our spiritual walks with our God ,just the same as love and obedience is? Your grief is genuine,and do not listen to those who attempt to placate with "God helps them, who help themselves",that is not scripture, and is not in any bible I have found,and is a lie, God always helps those who cannot help themselves.Why else does He expect us stronger to help the weaker,as our Jesus did/does.No, experience your grief, thank your God, love your relative,understand that this is but another spiritual journey,you will not be allowed to take part in now,and move on in your spiritual walk. There will be all eternity in heaven to ask all the questions you need for answers now,as your God would say, be patient,and "wait".
            In His love,       lampwicke     xxx

[DovesWings]

Thank you both, Gracey and lampwicke, for your replies!!!

They both made me stop, think and re-assess everything I've been thinking.

I think I was at the point where I was just so angry at myself for listening to those saying..."oh, she's giving up and expecting a miracle...she should be helping herself"...etc, etc...when I know in my heart of hearts that she IS helping herself by never once complaining to the Lord, but constantly praising and worshipping Him.  The Lord has His plan and purpose.  Who's to say she won't come out of this?
It was good to know that her elders were there and prayig w/ her and over her, annointing her, etc....and she has such a strong and loving group of ppl who constantly pray for her, as do I.  
My mom actually wakes up every night from like 2 - 6 and just prays to the Lord for my aunt and everyone else.  
Last night, I was just wide awake around 3:30/4 a.m. and just felt the need to pray for her.  
I felt myself getting lost...especially yesterday...and had that stupid nausea come over me, so I just prayed, picked up my Bible and read whatever I opened to and kept it going.  It all went away.
It's just like the entire family/ies are being hit from all sides...my aunt, her daughter in law, my great aunt, my youngest daughter rec'd 2nd and 3rd degree burns over the weekend(Saturday)...which is the same day my aunt went into the Hospice house...and that is the same day that their septic and electric malfunctioned...but, Praise God, they had friends who are in those fields and came over and fixed it for them...plus someone gave them a van w/ a lift for my aunt's hoveround, etc...plus, my uncle(her husband), having those 2 heart attacks...my mom's health, my other daughter's diabetes being whacked, my son's allergies, my husband...my dad...my sister still grieving for her husband, etc.  It's like one thing after another, but God DOES and WILL continue to see us all through it.  Prayer is so powerful...our Lord and Saviour are Amazing....and I don't know what I'd do w/o having the Holy Spirit!!!

It's amazing that you mentioned Romans 8:28, lampwicke...it's a verse that I opened to myself while in the hospital for tests last year, and it's one I seem to almost always open to. I love the 8th chapter of Romans!!!

Ok...I'm rambling away...
Thank you both so much for your words of wisdom...they helped a lot

God bless and keep you!!!

[JudgeNot]

Dear DovesWings,
I certainly feel your emotion and mental anguish.  I lost my parents to cancer after each had long, drawn-out battles.  I suffer from heart disease.  Can these things test your faith?  Of course they can.  Jesus never promised us a bed of roses while on earth – only paradise in heaven!
I look at it this way; compared to 50 years ago, (or 30 or 20 years ago!) modern medicine IS a miracle!  To be honest – I believe most of the doctors you interact with believe in God and believe in prayer.  
For my situation, I pray that Jesus will guide the doctors with the wisdom He has gifted them with.  
May the Lord be with you and comfort you and your Aunt, and your loved one’s.
Jim

[DovesWings]

Thank you Jim.

You are right ....I was just reading that there are times were are at the top of the mountain, and then others when we are in the valley.  It is then, when we are in the valley, that we have to utilize what we had and learned while at the top of the mountain.
Everything is in the Lords hands, and He is always with us and knows our purpose.

It was such an eye opener for me the other day.
We found out that my aunts hip and pelvis are disintegrated, but she has faith that she will run out of that hospice...be it to her home here or to our Lord in Heaven.  It's a win/win situation.  
It's these times of trials where I see myself get all muffled, but I just pray and our Lord and Saviour just helps me out.  He never does give us more than we can handle!!!
I find myself enjoying the littlest things in life more...praying more, really getting into the Word more....reaffirming my faith, etc..
I appreciate your response
Praying for you and the heart disesase(my mom has been dealing w/ one also since she was 36...brand new aorta, etal....)

God bless!!!

[jenn]

I agree with gracey,

 For a person such as your aunt to fully depend on Christ as their healer shows their faith in Him which is pleasing to Him and is awesome , truely it is. And if it be His will to heal her He will if not she'll be with Him . It may seem selfish but it really is not because this little lady is putting her life on the line and trusting Her Creator who is the best doctor anyhow. Although modern medicine is great and is a gift from God , Jesus is also a gift from God .

[DovesWings]

That is so true Jenn....I see that more and more each day...
even w/ the pain she is in, her eyes stay focused on the Lord...she knows...and we all know...and nobody can ever take away the fact that she completely put all her faith and trust in our Lord...and His answer is one that HE see's right...He's our Maker and knows our time...