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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
277964 Posts in 26514 Topics by 3790 Members
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Author Topic: Good Laugh  (Read 2053 times)
Forrest
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« on: May 13, 2004, 01:33:12 AM »

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in
8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
 
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
 
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
 
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
 
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
 
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
 
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
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          Forrest              
ROM 12:5 So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
Tibby
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« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2004, 02:00:56 AM »

Man, something to think about. If he got pregnant last night... then he... in his wifes... with his own... *shivers* somebody... hold me... Lips Sealed
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Was there ever a time when Common sence was common?
Willowbirch
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« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2004, 04:06:58 PM »

Man, something to think about. If he got pregnant last night... then he... in his wifes... with his own...
Not a comforting thought.  Tongue
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"Man dreams and desires; God broods, and wills, and quickens."
Tibby
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« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2004, 11:08:40 PM »

yeah... I'm not sleeping for week... to scared I will wake up as a chick, and end up... Lips Sealed

Curse you, Forrest!!!
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Forrest
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« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2004, 01:37:38 AM »

yeah... I'm not sleeping for week... to scared I will wake up as a chick, and end up... Lips Sealed

Curse you, Forrest!!!
Huh  Who me? What did I do? Grin
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Your Brother In Christ
          Forrest              
ROM 12:5 So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
Forrest
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« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2004, 11:57:05 PM »

       Tibby:
      You don't need to worry if single right? You are aren't you?
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          Forrest              
ROM 12:5 So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
Tibby
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« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2004, 10:49:32 AM »

Clearly, you don't understand Gods sense of humor. Angry Everyday I wake up, and check my chest to make sure, thanks to you  Angry Angry

Grin Grin Grin


IO have a feeling being a chick isn't half as bad as the joke makes it out to do. I'd like to see what the women who takes her Husban's place thinks! Grin
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Forrest
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« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2004, 02:09:42 AM »

    Tibby:
   Why are you worried? You are a child of GOD He wouldn't give you anything you could not handle with out a way out.
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Your Brother In Christ
          Forrest              
ROM 12:5 So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
Tibby
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« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2004, 03:34:00 AM »

Grin
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Brother Love
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"FAITH ALONE IN CHRIST ALONE"


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« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2004, 05:25:08 AM »

   Tibby:
   Why are you worried? You are a child of GOD He wouldn't give you anything you could not handle with out a way out.

ROFLOL Smiley Smiley Smiley
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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

<Smiley))><
Shylynne
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Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


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« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2005, 07:51:34 PM »

This is the funniest thing I`ve ever read!  Grin

Miracle "Walk On Water" Baptism Viewed By Many
by Jerry Howell, reporter
for the Slapout Alabama Gazette
     
The Sunday afternoon baptizing services in Sweetwater Creek by the Oak Grove Loving Arms Church was cut short yesterday afternoon when a small water snake inadvertantly swam up the lower portion of Bertha Tarwater's baptismal gown while she was under the water "meetin the Lord". Rev. Grover Taylor said in an interview after he was revived several hours later, "I had a firm grip on her and the second the water covered her, well, all hell broke loose". According to witnesses, Ms. Tarwater came out of the water swinging and cold cocked Rev. Taylor, fracturing his jaw bone, left collar bone, an arm and dislocated his left knee.
     The congregation on the shore was convinced they were watching a miracle. As Ms. Tarwater came out of the water it was said by 20-30 wittnesses that she actually "walked on water." Mrs Thornton, organist for the church, excitedly described the incident saying that Bertha's ankles never even got wet as she traveled to the other side of the creek which is a good 30 feet wide and 5 feet deep where she was located. (ed note: it's a well known fact that Ms Tarwater is the largest female this side of the Mississippi and has repeatedly polished off more fried chicken at the Sunday afternoon picnics than any other person. Except for the late Junior Thompson)
     The entire incident probably would have never made this publication except for the fact that as Ms Tarwater exited the water, she jumped the fence at the edge of the creek and spooked Daniel Baker's 73 prize winning Yorkshire pigs which up until this point had been resting comfortably. Upon seeing Bertha in her pink flowered baptismal robe burning all 8 cylinders, the pigs freaked, ran through the fence and directly onto I-65, causing one of the largest traffic jams in Alabama history.
     State police said Bertha was last seen south bound on the interstate and had passed three 18 wheelers, two sports cars and a busload of illegal Mexicans who immediately returned to their homeland after seeing her in the rearview mirror.
     Rev. Taylor asked that anyone spotting Ms Tarwater to please herd her back toward Slapout. The regular Thursday night singing will still be held as planned.

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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
Shemaya
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« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2005, 08:49:59 PM »

I really like that story.I get in agruments with my mom alot Undecided Huh
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