Divorce

[peachykeen]

Now, I've always lived with the idea of the only excuse for a divorce is adultery (arn't there three reasons?).  But recently, I've been forced to think a different way.  God is all knowing, right? So if a marriage is completley awful, and the parents have tried marriage counceling and they know it's wrong to divorce, but they just can't work it out and it is completly tearing apart the family, wouldn't God understand?  Or what about wives that are beaten by their husbands?  

Just wondering what you guys thought:

yes/no to divorce and why/why not?

[HylianHero]

If its a good reason, like the ones you stated, then yes I believe that divorce is a good thing. If neither of the two is happy, and they've tried everything that they can, or they have a problem, such as beatings or mishaps, then I believe, yes it can be done. Nowadays, the divorce rate is well over 50%, and many of those I do believe are completely unnecessary. Many people don't even love the person they are married to. I believe that this type is wrong. Marriage should be an everlasting bond between a husband and a wife. Their love for each other should not break.

[C C]

What GOD has joined together let no man put tear apart . .  . .

However, what if it wasn't God that joined them together in the first place?  THEN it's been adultry all along and what divorce really is is turning from sin!!!!!  

[Izar]

Devorce is wrong if the actions are not from adultry, but if some one did commit adulty, then, it is in order.

[Nanadebb]

Oh my, I have struggled with this issue in the past... and again presently contemplating a divorce...

My first marriage... 26 1/2 years.  (emotionally and physically abusive relationship.)  I tried very hard to make things work.  I stayed as long as I did because of my strong moral values and my beliefs...  If it were not for my love and belief in God I could not have survived the ordeal.

I am newly married since January 3, 2004... When I said my vows I meant every word... However, when the person you marry is not the person they portrayed themselves  to be... are we to endure this deceit???  I am in such turmoil over this issue again.  

Adultery can include more than physically being with another partner.  I personally believe that pornography is a form of adultery.  Perhaps, my views on this issue is clouded by my own personal views... I really don't know.  I am at such a loss.  I need some holy advice myself on this issue.

What is God's Will for me?  

[Allinall]

I've posted this concept before but it has, I'm sure, been buried in the depths of the CU archives.    But I'll just give a basic understanding.

The only place that the adultery clause is found is in Matthew.  Uniquely, when Jesus is asked by the Pharisees about this, He says..."in the beginning it was not so.  But Moses, for the hardness of your hearts permitted it" (my paraphrase).  Jesus never says that clause is acceptable to God.  Rather, He says..."in the beginning it was not so."  So why would this portion/proviso only show up in Matthew?  Because Matthew is written to the Jew.  In Jewish Law, spoken by God and given and enforced by Moses, there was no provision for divorce.  Yet coming out of the Egyptian culture, the Jews had difficulty with this.  So Moses gives them an out.  The couple to be wed would marry, and split for one year.  She would go home and so would he.  And he would watch her for a year.  If she was unfaithful to him in that time, Moses permitted a divorce.  If not, a very big party was held when the bridegroom came for his bride.  Helps in understanding some of the parables concerning the same that Jesus gave.  After the bridegroom took his bride home, they consumated and were husband and wife by God's Law.  There was no later provision for divorcing in the case of adultery.  Rather, and adulterer was to be stoned, case in point the woman they brought to Jesus caught in adultery.  And what did Jesus say?  "Let he who has no sin cast the first stone."  What forgiveness!

Here's my point.  God gives no excuses.  It's not allowed.  Yet God gives soooooo much grace, mercy, and blessing in this area, that many never fully understand God's position on the matter.  

If ya get married, stay married.  That's God's plan in the matter.  If you get divorced, have been divorced, or plan to get divorced...rest in God's forgiveness.  Ask for it.  If divorced and remarried, then live for God with your new spouse and keep the vow you made before Him!  Rest.  I think we try to put off guilt, when we should understand why we feel guilty.  

*Runs and ducks the incoming eggs and rotten tomatoes*

[lampwicke]

Now, I've always lived with the idea of the only excuse for a divorce is adultery (arn't there three reasons?).  But recently, I've been forced to think a different way.  God is all knowing, right? So if a marriage is completley awful, and the parents have tried marriage counceling and they know it's wrong to divorce, but they just can't work it out and it is completly tearing apart the family, wouldn't God understand?  Or what about wives that are beaten by their husbands?  
------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Peachykeen,
     To quote you, God is indeed all knowing.Much has to do with  the intent of that marriages initial purposes.Was God considered in obedience to the Lord,of the choosing of each others mate? If not, being unequally yoked is a no-no from the beginning, and "whatsoever you sow, you will reap".I have my doubts as to the joining of these two persons,the reasons may have been only for selfish reasons,and not Gods love?
     If the selfishness of these two people are in fact tearing up the family, is this not a "reaping of these two persons sowing" in disobedience in not considering their God to marry? The anger between these two persons,is but a symptom of the "Unfaithfulness" of their commitment to their marriage vows.
there is no difference in this or abuse,for both are what I consider "spiritual adultery"? Even so ,what do these two people do? Either stop their abuse with each other,their anger,towards each other,their sin against their God and themselves.(selfishness) correct themselves; for when you say family, I think you allude to either yourself,children, or family members , or a combination of all ? or they separate from each other,for the sake of all involved.
          "What God has brought together( if He did?) let man not put asunder"!  When two people work so diligently to destroy a marriage, then it always is fueled by anger, and at least verbal abuse? Verbal abuse is/can be the precurser to physical abuse, it is only separated by degree of depth of feelings? In any separation,or even divorce, God understands the sins of His creation very well,and I believe makes allowance for "Spiritual Adultery",within any relationship.
           He will & can at times, allow separations and even divorces.in order for His children to repair the conditions of the initial woundings brought about by the original sins of the two involved persons. Even after several years, so it is wizer to separate, and let His children "Examine themselves"(2Corinthians13:5),so they can change their hearts and attitudes,through His love for them."With God all things are possible, with man nothing is".   In His love,     lampwicke xxx
 

 
 

[Shwynix]

Hi, I am a newbie so i hope you will bear with me. I have not been walking with the Lord long and i still feel like a baby sometimes. My views are still taking shape and the area of divorce has really thrummed a dischordance within me.

I am speaking specifically about Christians in marriage, two people believing in Christ who marry imply that there is no uneven yoke. To my mind God has brought them together for He orders all things. By making your vows before His throne, amidst the congregation, you vow to God that you abide by the covenant of marriage.  In essence, i believe, you are vowing to God to obey His law and will for your lives together. Does God not hold us to our vows? Is it lawful for Christians to get divorced? As a Christian does the law to remain married not apply more stringently to us no matter the circumstances?

I believe every moment is created by God and in Him and through Him we are more than conquerers able to overcome all adversity. In Ezekiel 37 the hand of the Lord is upon Ezekiel and places him in a valley filled with what we percieve to be death and despair. Yet God does not see what we see. To God those bones, those situations we despair in are promises for us to prophecy God's divine Spirit into to overcome. The reason being that we may know that He is Lord and through His divine love witness to others of His faithfulness.

We are sojourners in this world and what we have is given by God for us to overcome, learn from, grow and conquer for His glory to be made known. To all things there must be a solution in God and i cannot see God, joining two Christians in marriage and then going against His word and condoning divorce.

  regards, Shwynix

[Forrest]

Now, I've always lived with the idea of the only excuse for a divorce is adultery (arn't there three reasons?).  But recently, I've been forced to think a different way.  God is all knowing, right? So if a marriage is completley awful, and the parents have tried marriage counceling and they know it's wrong to divorce, but they just can't work it out and it is completly tearing apart the family, wouldn't God understand?  Or what about wives that are beaten by their husbands?  

Just wondering what you guys thought:

yes/no to divorce and why/why not?

     Divorce is wrong- remarriage is a sin without adultery
 

Or what about wives that are beaten by their husbands?

   
      Divorce is still wrong- But sepperation is an way out.

[BlackmanX]

May  divorce  be  with  you

[Neo]

Mark 10:11 - "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her."

Mark 10:12 - "And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."

Luke 16:18 - "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."

(In case you're wondering, adultery = bad.)

However:

Matthew 5:32 - "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

Matthew 19:9 - "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

(So Matthew disagrees slightly, and says divorce is okay if it's because of adultery.)

But:

1 Corinthians 7:10 - "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:"

1 Corinthians 7:11 - "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
 
1 Corinthians 7:12 - "But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away."

1 Corinthians 7:13 - "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."

1 Corinthians 7:14 - "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."

1 Corinthians 7:15 - "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."

(Here divorce is okay if the partner who is "departing" is an unbeliever.)

Finally:

Deuteronomy 24:1 - "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house."

Deuteronomy 24:2 - "And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."

(Here, divorce is permissible if the husband is not happy with the wife for any reason or any "uncleanliness" she possesses. However, if she does remarry and her new husband dies, she may not remarry her first husband [Deuteronomy 24:3 - 24:4].)

Hope that helps!

[Rock]

I find many Christians hiding the Word of god behind what they think or feel what should be right. Jesus does not say  that divorce is ok. He gave three reasons ONLY that divorce is permissible. 1. unfaithfulness from the spouse. 2. If one is an unbeliever and the other a Chrstian the Vhristian can't leave the unbeliever. but if the unbeliever leaves, the christian is no longer under bondage. 1 Co 7:12-15. 3. Death Ro 7:1-3. Some have asked, what about abuse? 1Co. 7:10-11.
 What about forgiveness? Ro 7:2-3. In this verse if you remarry under any other than what is written above you are an adulteress. If someone is gay and they ask God for forgiveness and they continue living together and are involved in sex together are they forgiven?  Satan wants to destroy you, marriage, and the Church. Lots of Christians bend the rules before marriage and after and we only want to see the loving side of God. God destroyed many people and allowed the blessings of his people not fall upon his people because of sin.    2Ch 7:14  If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

[-foc-]

Evidences of divorce and remarriage in the Church
http://divorceandremarriage.bravehost.com/evidences.html

[Rookieupgrade1]

This is a hard topic. I think that divorce is not what God wants, that is why we need to teach our children how they should go about a relationship so they enter into marriage knowing the person they are commiting to.

I have been divorced, prior to being a believer. Remarried and nearly divorced again, but by Gods intervention, became a true believer and God not only saved me, but saved my marriage, and then saved my wife.

Have faith and act according to what the bible tells us how to act toward or spouses. If we follow Gods plan for our lives.......we will never fail.

Blessings in Christ

[-foc-]

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