Problem with other christians

[bemanisuperstar]

I've been a chrstian all my life. but lately messages have been troubling me.

I don't understand this whole Accept Jesus into your heart stuff I only hear about in like 10% of churches.

Obviously I talk to God I pray and I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

but I don't get what these people mean by accepting jesus into your heart. It bothers me and makes me feel left out and makes me not want to be around these people and go to a church that can make me feel sepcial and loved and help me with one big huge problem I have

I'm lonely and I want a girlfriend and seing other couples makes me sick.

Being single has effected my life to the point where I am Not productive.

I ask God for strenght and guidence on this matter but the prayer goes unasnwered.

Why?

How should I ask God to help me in this matter.

What should I do about getting a girlfriend.

How do I go about finding Churches with Singles groups so I can find that special somebody with out having to worry if she's been around.

This is the only mature chrstian forum that I know of. I hope you can help me figure out who's right and who's wrong and How I can get help from God in my quest for true love in his glory.

[Willowbirch]

I ask God for strenght and guidence on this matter but the prayer goes unasnwered.


Maybe God is waiting for you to turn your attention on Him?  
He has plans for you, superstar. He wants to be first in your heart and life. When Christians say this, they mean that in everything they do, they're trying to do to God's glory; that is, in a manner pleasing to Him. They have made Him their Provider, Judge, Witness, Bridegroom and Father. He wants to hear about your joys, problems, frustrations. He wants you to spend time in His word. Don't just ask for things when you pray; spend time searching your heart, listening, giving God whatever is inside. Share your desires with Him. Ask Him to shape them to His will.
Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things [see verses 25-32] shall be added to you."
In this verse, God isn't promising that Christians will always be prosperous according to the world's standards. But the most important thing you can be doing right now is give your life to Him, acting in a way that pleases Him and shows others that you are indeed a Christian. God will take care of you in the way He sees fit.

[peachykeen]

Hey there, I was very moved by your post.  Can you explain to me more about why you feel left out by the whole jesus acception?  If you accept, then you are definatly not left out, and when you "accept," it's just giving an open invitation to the Holy Spirit.  So many people don't really get it when they say 'I accept Jesus,' but basically, it's just asking God to inhabit you into your heart, cause' he certainly can't make the decision for you.  

And boy, can I relate to the whole relationship thingy.  I know I am only in high school, but I am the only one of my friends who has never had a real boyfriend before, or even a first kiss for that matter (which I know is weird because technically, I should be "expiramenting" and "hooking up" and "sampling boys").  I've been on a few dates, and had many opportunities for real relationships, but I can never go through with it.  Every time I get close to one, I pull back.  Of course, I've spent many-a-time going, peachy, what's wrong with you, and erpeatedly hitting my head with my hand.  It's taken my a long time to square with my single-ness.  I look around me, seeing at what I could have, but I feel like I want something better.  I see over 3,500 kids in my school, over 1,000 of which are attractive guys.  I should be content with that.  But amazingly, in 1,000 guys, I can't find a single one.  You know what that means?  No, I'm not going to be a crazy ol' lady with thousands of cats, it means that God is saving someone really special for me.  Trust me, you don't want to settle for less, you not only get a lame relationship, but it makes you even more depressed because you feel like you have something that's not enough.  Have you ever heard rebecca st.james' song, wait for me?  It's one of my favorites because it tells me to be patient, as will hopefully my future husband. My knight in shinning armor will come, and until then, I ahve to learn to become my own knight(or butt-kicking princess).  I think God might be keeping you single so you can learn self-dependance, or more of it.  When a couple depends on each other for happiness (as in, depending on each other to always be there so they will be safe and never alone...boy do I know lots of people with those relationships...), it's very dangerous.  I know it's so hard to hear "wait," but let me tell you, your waiting will let you be rewarded with someone who will amaze you.  She'll come when she comes, and you will be so happy.  But just like waiting for a Christmas presant, when you open it, it feels the best because you've been waiting to for a long time.  She's coming, but just wait for it.  God'll be your lover in the mean time  .  

i hope i've helped somehow, i know where you're coming from.  

seeing with my heart, peachy.  

[BUTCHA]

bemanisuperstar
and peachykeen

THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH EITHER ONE OF YOU, ITS IMPORTANT THAT YOU TRY TO KEEP FROM THE SOCAIL PRESSURES OF THE WORLD. I REMEMBER FEELING A LOT OF THE SAME EMMOTIONS WHEN I WAS YOUNG, ( THAT WAS 25YRS AGO )  I NEVER MET ANYONE THAT I FELT WAS ME, NOT SOMEONE WHO I COULD BE WITH BUT WAS ACCUALLY ME , BUT IN A GIRL FORM, TILL I MET MY WIFE . I  WAS 23 WHEN WE MET . BEFORE THAT I FELT THAT MAYBE SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME, I FELT SOCAIL PRESSURE.

 THAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE, AFTER ALL I WAS A TEANAGE GUY RIGHT, ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY DO?
I TRIED HARD TO FIND A GIRL FRIEND, WENT TO CHURCHES, YOUTH GROUPS, BIBLE STUDY, AFTER ALL I DID KNOW THAT THE GIRLS IN SCHOOL WERE NOT ME. THEN ONE DAY I GAVE UP .
I REMEBER SAYING IM JUST GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF , ENJOY LIFE . THAT SUMMER I MET MY WIFE , I KNEW FROM THE FIRST NIGHT THAT I WOULD PROBALY MARRY HER. WELL NOW FIVE KIDS LATER I LOOK BACK, AND VERY GRATEFUL I DIDN'T GIVE IN TO MY FLESH WEAKNESS.
 AND I LET GOD BRING ME TO WERE HE NEW I SHOULD BE.

SO BE TRUE, TO YOURSELF , ITS HARD.
 BUT YOUR THE BEST , SO DONT CUT YOUR SELFS SHORT.

                     WITH LOVE
                     BUTCHA

[ollie]

bemanisuperstar
and peachykeen

THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH EITHER ONE OF YOU, ITS IMPORTANT THAT YOU TRY TO KEEP FROM THE SOCAIL PRESSURES OF THE WORLD. I REMEMBER FEELING A LOT OF THE SAME EMMOTIONS WHEN I WAS YOUNG, ( THAT WAS 25YRS AGO )  I NEVER MET ANYONE THAT I FELT WAS ME, NOT SOMEONE WHO I COULD BE WITH BUT WAS ACCUALLY ME , BUT IN A GIRL FORM, TILL I MET MY WIFE . I  WAS 23 WHEN WE MET . BEFORE THAT I FELT THAT MAYBE SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME, I FELT SOCAIL PRESSURE.

 THAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE, AFTER ALL I WAS A TEANAGE GUY RIGHT, ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY DO?
I TRIED HARD TO FIND A GIRL FRIEND, WENT TO CHURCHES, YOUTH GROUPS, BIBLE STUDY, AFTER ALL I DID KNOW THAT THE GIRLS IN SCHOOL WERE NOT ME. THEN ONE DAY I GAVE UP .
I REMEBER SAYING IM JUST GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF , ENJOY LIFE . THAT SUMMER I MET MY WIFE , I KNEW FROM THE FIRST NIGHT THAT I WOULD PROBALY MARRY HER. WELL NOW FIVE KIDS LATER I LOOK BACK, AND VERY GRATEFUL I DIDN'T GIVE IN TO MY FLESH WEAKNESS.
 AND I LET GOD BRING ME TO WERE HE NEW I SHOULD BE.

SO BE TRUE, TO YOURSELF , ITS HARD.
 BUT YOUR THE BEST , SO DONT CUT YOUR SELFS SHORT.

                     WITH LOVE
                     BUTCHA

[Willowbirch]

I had to chuckle throughout your post, Peachy!  

Hey there, I was very moved by your post.  Can you explain to me more about why you feel left out by the whole jesus acception?  If you accept, then you are definatly not left out, and when you "accept," it's just giving an open invitation to the Holy Spirit.  So many people don't really get it when they say 'I accept Jesus,' but basically, it's just asking God to inhabit you into your heart, cause' he certainly can't make the decision for you.  

May I add this: Though we're all one "body" in Christ, God made each one of us different, and worship styles differ between denominations, even between churches of the same denomination. If you've accepted Christ into your heart and are willing to live your life for Him, perhaps the thing that makes you uncomfortable about your Christian peers is the style of worship?   Just an idea.

And boy, can I relate to the whole relationship thingy.  I know I am only in high school, but I am the only one of my friends who has never had a real boyfriend before, or even a first kiss for that matter (which I know is weird because technically, I should be "expiramenting" and "hooking up" and "sampling boys").  I've been on a few dates, and had many opportunities for real relationships, but I can never go through with it.  Every time I get close to one, I pull back.  Of course, I've spent many-a-time going, peachy, what's wrong with you, and erpeatedly hitting my head with my hand.  It's taken my a long time to square with my single-ness.  I look around me, seeing at what I could have, but I feel like I want something better.  I see over 3,500 kids in my school, over 1,000 of which are attractive guys.  I should be content with that.  But amazingly, in 1,000 guys, I can't find a single one.  You know what that means?  No, I'm not going to be a crazy ol' lady with thousands of cats, it means that God is saving someone really special for me.  Trust me, you don't want to settle for less, you not only get a lame relationship, but it makes you even more depressed because you feel like you have something that's not enough.  

Don't worry, Peachy. I'll be 20 soon, and I have never hardly known a boy outside the family, much less have I gone on dates, and you'd better believe I'm still waiting for "love's first kiss".  

 My knight in shinning armor will come, and until then, I ahve to learn to become my own knight(or butt-kicking princess).  

Heeheehee...

[Jester]

allright, im new to these forums, but i gotta response to this.  basically, ive been in that whole seeing everyone with someone and being single situation.  yea it sucks, i agree.  but then again, where i stop agreeing is when people expect God to do everything for them.  im not trying to be mean here at all, but seriously, God isnt just gonna hand you someone cuz youre sad and asking him to.  it just dosent work like that.  you have to put in the effort.  you have to take the risk and you have to put yourself out on a limb and go look around for yourself.  


if you really truely want a relationship then get out there and make it happen.  honestly, if you keep sitting around and not putting forth the effort, then youll be sitting around for a long time.  i used to be the same way till i got sick of it and decided that it was time to take things into my own hands.  


the only way you learn is from making mistakes, and getting out and trying your hand at life.  its not pretty, and its not always happy, but seriously, if you just sit around and do nothing about it, then youll look back someday and regret it.  


the only thing stopping you from having a relationship is yourself

[peachykeen]

lol definatly looking jester, and I definatly agree with both of you (willowbirch and jester), excellent points.  Right now, I'm very content with being single, I don't need a boyfriend to make me feel better about myself.  Love will happen when it does though, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to stop looking.  I'm out there jest, but he's gotta find me too.

Glad to see I'm not alone Willow, we should form a club, like ya-ya sisterhood.  We could be butt-kicking princesses!!!
hahahahaha...

[Willowbirch]

l
Glad to see I'm not alone Willow, we should form a club, like ya-ya sisterhood.  We could be butt-kicking princesses!!!
hahahahaha...

(Off topic...) Have you seen Shrek?

[Jester]

the key is to look, but not look at the same time...  cuz it seems to be when your not looking that things happen and someone comes along!

[BUTCHA]

the key is to look, but not look at the same time...  cuz it seems to be when your not looking that things happen and someone comes along!

this is true   im living proof thats how i found my wife

[BUTCHA]

allright, im new to these forums, but i gotta response to this.  basically, ive been in that whole seeing everyone with someone and being single situation.  yea it sucks, i agree.  but then again, where i stop agreeing is when people expect God to do everything for them.  im not trying to be mean here at all, but seriously, God isnt just gonna hand you someone cuz youre sad and asking him to.  it just dosent work like that.  you have to put in the effort.  you have to take the risk and you have to put yourself out on a limb and go look around for yourself.  


if you really truely want a relationship then get out there and make it happen.  honestly, if you keep sitting around and not putting forth the effort, then youll be sitting around for a long time.  i used to be the same way till i got sick of it and decided that it was time to take things into my own hands.  


the only way you learn is from making mistakes, and getting out and trying your hand at life.  its not pretty, and its not always happy, but seriously, if you just sit around and do nothing about it, then youll look back someday and regret it.  


the only thing stopping you from having a relationship is yourself

sorry jester i cant agree with you here you cant just decide your going to do something about it .

and experencing life,you can regret also un-wanted babys , abortion, aids, drugs alcohlism , in a marrage thats ugle, being abused, is the problem with jumping into life.ya dont lock your self in a closet and cry , but dont go on a unsafe limb either just be true to yourself your morals and your goals. but dont pressure yourselfs with what the world thinks you should be doing.

note been thier done that, thank god and my self that my mistakes have not cost me much so far.

[felix102]

When people say "I have accepted Jesus into my heart"...that's about the exact same thing as accepting Jesus as you savior and lord. I guess it sounds more rhetorical.  
What matters is that you know
1. you're a sinner and you can't save yourself
2. Jesus ultimately payed for the consequences of your sins (both in the past and in the future)
3. you are sorry for your sins and you will repent

If you have accepted Jesus, you are a son of God and belong to one body of believers in Jesus.


Being single is tough and looking at something you dont have can make you sick. I've been in similar situations where I strongly desired something yet for me it was intangible. You must know though, that God had every single second of your life planned out. Our desires in this life cannot compare to what God has already planned out for those who love Him.

I ask God for strenght and guidence on this matter but the prayer goes unasnwered.

Why?

How should I ask God to help me in this matter.

God has listened to your prayers and he knows exactly what you are in need of. Like a father, He is only giving you what is best for you. Maybe it is not yet time for you to be in a relationship. Trust God.  

by the way

You dont need someone to make you feel special. God knows the number of hairs on your head. No one on earth can make you feel more special than God.

In this world, we want to be unique, we want to have something that makes us stand out and make us feel better. We want to feel special. We may want to have something that others don't. But is that as important as what God wants from us? It can be difficult but we may need to turn more of our attention to God instead of to ourselves. God loves us and he wants the best for us. That's why he died for us.

[BUTCHA]

When people say "I have accepted Jesus into my heart"...that's about the exact same thing as accepting Jesus as you savior and lord. I guess it sounds more rhetorical.  
What matters is that you know
1. you're a sinner and you can't save yourself
2. Jesus ultimately payed for the consequences of your sins (both in the past and in the future)
3. you are sorry for your sins and you will repent

If you have accepted Jesus, you are a son of God and belong to one body of believers in Jesus.


Being single is tough and looking at something you dont have can make you sick. I've been in similar situations where I strongly desired something yet for me it was intangible. You must know though, that God had every single second of your life planned out. Our desires in this life cannot compare to what God has already planned out for those who love Him.

I ask God for strenght and guidence on this matter but the prayer goes unasnwered.

Why?

How should I ask God to help me in this matter.

God has listened to your prayers and he knows exactly what you are in need of. Like a father, He is only giving you what is best for you. Maybe it is not yet time for you to be in a relationship. Trust God.  

by the way

You dont need someone to make you feel special. God knows the number of hairs on your head. No one on earth can make you feel more special than God.

In this world, we want to be unique, we want to have something that makes us stand out and make us feel better. We want to feel special. We may want to have something that others don't. But is that as important as what God wants from us? It can be difficult but we may need to turn more of our attention to God instead of to ourselves. God loves us and he wants the best for us. That's why he died for us.

great post felix print it off and hang it up laminate it and keep it near by brother for those rainy days