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JudgeNot
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« on: February 11, 2004, 11:31:54 PM »

I have a secular wife (of 21+ years).  I have witnessed to her - My current pastor has witnessed to her - she will go to church about twice a year if me and the daughter beg... but she still doesn't believe.  It breaks my heart.

Do any of the rest of you have this circumstance?  How do you deal with it?
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« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2004, 02:17:53 PM »

That sounds rough JN.   Maybe others have some advice, but I think the biggest thing you can do (which I am sure you have) is constant prayer.  Claim her in prayer!   Only God can change her doubt.  Keep living the life, and sharing the word.  God can and will do the rest.  I can't tell you how many times in our family, that an uncle, or nephew, or someone who does not believe had someone touching Gods throne in prayer for them, eventually making a change in their hearts.   I myself am a product of this method, because of a mother that made it her mission in life to bring me before the Lord in prayer.

Prayer still works today friend.  It may take time, even years to see results, but God does hear your prayers!   Its our best weapon.  So don't give up!

Something else I just thought of.   I was speaking with my sister the other day, and she told me about a book that is having a profound effect her sons life.  His walk with the Lord had all but slipped away, but this book has brought his focus back on the Lord.   I got a copy the other day and just started reading it with my wife.  Its called, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren.  Its a 40 day reading....1 chapter a day program (short chapters), and suggests that you read it along with a partner.  I have only read the first chapter, but I can already see that this book is God inspired.  Maybe you could get your wife to participate reading it with you?  Its a very easy read, and at the end of each chapter, leaves you with a point to think about, a verse to memorize, and a question.   If your wife is not open to that sort of thing, I'm sure it would be a huge blessing to you and your daughter.

My prayers are with you and your family friend.

Grace and Peace!
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ollie
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« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2004, 12:02:20 PM »

 1 Corinthians 7:12.  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
 13.  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
 14.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
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Shylynne
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« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2004, 08:47:57 AM »

I have a secular wife (of 21+ years).  I have witnessed to her - My current pastor has witnessed to her - she will go to church about twice a year if me and the daughter beg... but she still doesn't believe.  It breaks my heart.

Do any of the rest of you have this circumstance?  How do you deal with it?

I love the title of this thread!  Wink

I know this is the mens thread, but I wanted to share my story with you if it might help any. I have also been married for 21 years, and for many of those years my husband was not a christian, tho at the time I married him he had a powerful walk with Christ. (I made the sad mistake of following my hubby for some time, and our three teens did lots of begging too, and I can testify they helped bring me back)  I do know how very difficult it is, but take heart!

My husband would not go to church with me at all, (once or twice a year sounds wonderful to me!), nor did he want to hear gospel music in our home, every time I tried to play any he would find a excuse to shut it off, nor did he want to  hear much talk about God, he would quickly change the subject.   Honestly  he is a really nice person, I think he could`nt bear those things because he could`nt handle the conviction.  This went on for what seemed like a eternity, until one day the power that is in this scripture began to speak to me..."IF my people which are called by my name will humble themselves and seek my face, then will I hear from heaven..."

I always knew that verse, but I dont think I ever grasped it personally, making a decision I was going to take that promise and do what it said, and expect God to fulfill His part of the promise.  
I get up early so while he was still sleeping I would kneel down and seek God on his behalf, ask God to enter his dreams, his consiousness, his waking moments, to every part of his day...and I didnt even know or see any much sign that God was answering my prayer, because hubby is rather quiet about his thoughts, until one day not too long ago he said I have givin my heart back to God.  Yes there were many days in the midst of this I faltered in frustration, but I stand humbled and amazed at the power God has giving us to stir His heart of compassion and mercy towards us.  I know there were others praying, so I certianly do not want to sound like I am a one man band, but rather want to say prayer is definately the answer!

If I know anything, I`d say  it is best not to  pressure her, but rather simply try to show her Christs love in every thing you say and do, AND your JOY in Him. Theres a whole lot of truth in the little saying "SMILE", it makes people wonder whats going on", and you certianly know something she has`nt realized yet, she is going to find a new love, be happy with her, be happy for her, and as her spiritual leader,  hold her close, together with Him.
You have witnessed to her, so the seed is planted in her heart,  don`t fail to keep watering it with His love AND your prayers. Our God is a prayer answering God!
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ollie
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« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2004, 06:57:52 PM »

I have a secular wife (of 21+ years).  I have witnessed to her - My current pastor has witnessed to her - she will go to church about twice a year if me and the daughter beg... but she still doesn't believe.  It breaks my heart.

Do any of the rest of you have this circumstance?  How do you deal with it?

I love the title of this thread!  Wink

I know this is the mens thread, but I wanted to share my story with you if it might help any. I have also been married for 21 years, and for many of those years my husband was not a christian, tho at the time I married him he had a powerful walk with Christ. (I made the sad mistake of following my hubby for some time, and our three teens did lots of begging too, and I can testify they helped bring me back)  I do know how very difficult it is, but take heart!

My husband would not go to church with me at all, (once or twice a year sounds wonderful to me!), nor did he want to hear gospel music in our home, every time I tried to play any he would find a excuse to shut it off, nor did he want to  hear much talk about God, he would quickly change the subject.   Honestly  he is a really nice person, I think he could`nt bear those things because he could`nt handle the conviction.  This went on for what seemed like a eternity, until one day the power that is in this scripture began to speak to me..."IF my people which are called by my name will humble themselves and seek my face, then will I hear from heaven..."

I always knew that verse, but I dont think I ever grasped it personally, making a decision I was going to take that promise and do what it said, and expect God to fulfill His part of the promise.  
I get up early so while he was still sleeping I would kneel down and seek God on his behalf, ask God to enter his dreams, his consiousness, his waking moments, to every part of his day...and I didnt even know or see any much sign that God was answering my prayer, because hubby is rather quiet about his thoughts, until one day not too long ago he said I have givin my heart back to God.  Yes there were many days in the midst of this I faltered in frustration, but I stand humbled and amazed at the power God has giving us to stir His heart of compassion and mercy towards us.  I know there were others praying, so I certianly do not want to sound like I am a one man band, but rather want to say prayer is definately the answer!

If I know anything, I`d say  it is best not to  pressure her, but rather simply try to show her Christs love in every thing you say and do, AND your JOY in Him. Theres a whole lot of truth in the little saying "SMILE", it makes people wonder whats going on", and you certianly know something she has`nt realized yet, she is going to find a new love, be happy with her, be happy for her, and as her spiritual leader,  hold her close, together with Him.
You have witnessed to her, so the seed is planted in her heart,  don`t fail to keep watering it with His love AND your prayers. Our God is a prayer answering God!
Thanks,
Ollie
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« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2005, 11:31:43 PM »

I have this problem with my parents Cry I try to tell them about the goseple as much as I can
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ollie
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« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2005, 08:08:53 AM »

I have this problem with my parents Cry I try to tell them about the goseple as much as I can
Yes teaching them is the way. Also important is lettings one's actions be in unity with the teachings and show by example of living one's words.

ollie
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Chaplain Bob
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« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2006, 04:28:16 PM »

I have a secular wife (of 21+ years).  I have witnessed to her - My current pastor has witnessed to her - she will go to church about twice a year if me and the daughter beg... but she still doesn't believe.  It breaks my heart.

Do any of the rest of you have this circumstance?  How do you deal with it?

You say she doesn't believe but has she DENIED God and His plan of salvation through Jesus?

We really don't know the heart of another person unless they come right out and tell us.

The best thing you can do is live a Christ-like life before your wife.  In the overall scheme of things "going to church" is not that big a deal.  Especially when it comes to being a "witness" for the Lord.  It's not the church's job to evangelize.  It's ours.

Just continue to love her and being the husband God wants you to be.  As has been said "You may be the only Jesus a person sees".  She could be won by your conduct (if she really doesn't believe).
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