Newspulper Headlines: When Was Berkeley Ever Normal?: “Berkeley Back to Normal After Marine Corps Dispute” — San Jose Mercury News
Nothing Gets Past the Ethics Panel: “Ethics Panel Says [Sen.] Craig Acted Improperly” — Associated Press
Breaking News From 1066: “Vikings Go on Rampage at Lodge” — Post-Journal (Jamestown, NY)
He Was Aiming for the Road Runner: “Aggressive Coyote Shot at Copper” — Denver Post
Look Out Below!: “World’s Fattest Man Drops 230 Kilos (507 Pounds)” — Agence France-Presse
News You Can Use: “Healthy Lifestyle Is the Secret to Longer Life, Researchers Say” — eFluxMedia.com (Thanks to The Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto)
THE DEMO-GOGUESThen pipe down already: “Speeches don’t put food on the table. Speeches don’t fill up your tank, or fill your prescription, or do anything about that stack of bills that keeps you up at night. Some people may think words are change. You and I know better. Words are cheap.” — Hillary Clinton **One can only hope she’ll take her own advice and stop talking.
Yeah, right: “I’ve gone hunting. I know you may not believe it, but it’s true. My father taught us to shoot.” — Hillary Clinton, who has also always been a Yankees fan
On plagiarism: “He has occasionally used lines of mine. I have occasionally used some words of his. I know Sen. Clinton has used words of mine as well... I’m sure I should have [credited the words to Gov. Patrick]... I really don’t think this is too big of a deal.” — Barack Obama on appropriating excerpts of a 2006 speech by Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick
Class warfare: “[T]he wealthiest Americans have made out like bandits. That is not a recipe for long-term economic growth.” — Barack Obama
Race bait: “You’ve got conservative whites here, and I think there are some whites who are probably not ready to vote for an African American candidate.” — Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell
Cheerleading: “There is a tremendous amount of enthusiasm and happiness recognizing that, in a year, we are going to have a president. It will be either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama.” — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
Pay no attention to those terrorists trying to kill you: “[Franklin] Roosevelt said we have nothing to fear but fear itself. President Bush has been telling the American people we have nothing to offer but fear.” — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on her decision to let authorization for terrorist surveillance expire.
SHORT CUTS“There is something empowering about a gavel in the hands of a U.S. Congressman. No matter how big a weenie he may have been in high school and no matter how much fun the other kids used to make of him, he now has the authority to make corporate heads, executive department bigwigs or sports stars squirm and perspire.” — Pat Sajak
“All of that soaring rhetoric is supported by policies that are so old they creak. Obama may be shiny, bright, and new, but his ideas are suffering from senility.” — Mona Charen
“[Hillary’s] whole life right now is a reverse Sally Field. She’s looking out at an audience of colleagues and saying, ‘You don’t like me, you really don’t like me!”’ — Peggy Noonan
“The problems facing America — unsustainable entitlements, broken borders, nuclearizing enemies — require tough solutions, not gaseous Sesame Street platitudes.” — Mark Steyn
“Hillary Clinton stated there will be no personal scandal caused by her husband if she’s elected president. There goes the last of her support. First she lost the black vote, then she lost the youth vote, and now she has lost the comedians.” — Argus Hamilton
“Over the weekend in Ohio, former President Bill Clinton had an angry confrontation with a heckler who claimed at one point Bill Clinton made physical contact. Clinton denied any physical contact, but then again, he always does.” — Conan O’Brien
David Letterman: From “Top Ten Reasons Fidel Castro Is Retiring”: He has accepted the role of Dr. Ramon Vazquez on “General Hospital”; Achieved his goal of getting Cuba’s unemployment rate under 83%; Wants to spend more time interrogating his family; Just got Season One of “Gilmore Girls”; Caught injecting human growth hormone into his wife, Debbie Castro; Too many tacos; He was adopted by Angelina Jolie; Always promised himself he’d quit torturing when it stopped being fun.
Jay Leno: Hillary Clinton is on the campaign trail. She’s been speaking about Black History Month. She’s been saying that America has come so far that a black man could one day grow up and possibly be vice president. ... This has not been a good week for Hillary. I guess Bill bought her a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day. Turns out seven of the roses have committed to Michelle Obama. ... Hillary has lost the last [ten] primaries in a row. So any crying you see from now on is going to be real. ... Things aren’t looking good for Hillary. Like a lot of women in Washington, I think she’s just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing. ... Barack Obama now is considered the front-runner. You know what they say, behind every successful man is a woman. Hillary was surprised to find out that it was her. ... The Pentagon is now planning to shoot down a broken satellite that’s falling to Earth. The satellite is the size of a school bus, and they want to blow it up before it hits us. Yeah. In fact the actual plan, they’re going to have Roger Clemens throw a second school bus at it.
Veritas vos Liberabit — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis! Mark Alexander, Publisher, for The Patriot’s editors and staff. (Please pray for our Patriot Armed Forces standing in harm’s way around the world, and for their families — especially families of those fallen Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coast Guardsmen, who granted their lives in defense of American liberty.)