It's My Birthday!

[HisDaughter]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

OH WAIT!  It's not my BIRTHDAY!

It's my LAST day at Microsoft!

[Soldier4Christ]

Happy Birthday!

[Shammu]

Congratulation Yvette

as for your birthday......

[TigerLily]

    <<<NO MORE eh??!!! LOL


Congrats to u my friend!!

Kickin that part of your life to the curb   

[HisDaughter]

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God....

'Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created Windows'95.

I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go.'

'Well, what's the difference between the two?' Bill asks.

God says, 'I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.'

'Fine, but where should I go first?'

'I'll leave that up to you.'

'Okay, then,' says Bill. 'Let me try Hell first.'

So Bill goes to Hell. It's a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the temperature is perfect.

He is very pleased. 'This is great!' he tells God. 'If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!'

'Fine,' says God, and off they go.

Heaven is a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It's nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thinks for a quick minute and decides. 'Hmm. I think I'd prefer Hell,' he tells God.

'Fine,' replies God. 'As you desire.'

So Bill Gates goes to Hell. Two weeks later, God decides to check on the late billionaire to see how he is doing in Hell. When he gets there, he finds Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amidst hot flames in a dark cave, being burned and tortured by demons.

'How's everything going?' he asks Bill.

Bill responds, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, 'This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?'

'Oh ... that was the SCREENSAVER.

[Shammu]

Just for your information sister Yvette................

On February 4th, 1998, Bill Gates has been hit with a cream pie in Brussels. The offender, a Belgian guy, got away. Two helpers, a French woman and a Belgian student have been held in custody for a while by the Belgian police. Noël Godin, the man behind this, has made it a sport to throw cream cakes in celebrities' faces. "The attack against Bill Gates is symbolic, it's against hierarchical power itself.", Noël said in an interview.

[HisDaughter]

REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.

'It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth', said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, 'It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone'.

Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be 'minimal'. The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be profitable by 'Q4 1999 at latest', according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.

In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had 'willingly and enthusiastically' accepted a position as a vice president with Microsoft, and will continue to manage the United States government, reporting directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give up the mantle of executive authority to Gates, Clinton smiled and referred to it as 'a relief'. He went on to say that Gates has a 'proven track record', and that U.S. citizens should offer Gates their 'full support and confidence'. Clinton will reportedly be earning several times the $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S. president, in his new role at Microsoft.

Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to Redmond as 'silly', though did say that he would make executive decisions for the U.S. government from his existing office at Microsoft headquarters. Gates went on to say that the House and Senate would 'of course' be abolished. 'Microsoft isn't a democracy', he observed, 'and look how well we're doing'.

When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was proceeding, Gates said, 'We don't deny that discussions are taking place'.

Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating that United States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in government services and discounts on all Microsoft products.

About Microsoft: Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ 'MSFT') is the worldwide leader in software for personal computers, and democratic government. The company offers a wide range of products and services for public, business and personal use, each designed with the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of personal computing and free society every day.

About the United States: Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most successful nation in the history of the world, and has been a beacon of democracy and opportunity for over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., the United States is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft Corporation.

[Shammu]

Why does that picture remind me of Nazi Germany, during WW2............

[HisDaughter]

Why does that picture remind me of Nazi Germany, during WW2............

[HisDaughter]

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: < mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat// Then enter: If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the diner exactly to your specification.

Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.

Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.

Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.

Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.

[Shammu]

[HisDaughter]

1 hour, 15 min. left!

[HisDaughter]

20 Minutes Left!!!

[Shammu]

0 Minutes Left!!!

There I fixed it for ya sister.

Your now done, with microdummy!!

[HisDaughter]

There I fixed it for ya sister.

Your now done, with microdummy!!

Yes!  Thanks DreamWeaver!
This is going to take a little getting used to.  I woke up this morning thinking it was a work day what all I had to do!  Then I thought it was Saturday!  Then I remembered...

Friday after Thanksgiving
Don't work at Microsoft anymore
It's a day off....
Start NEW job on Monday
LOL!