I'm back

[saved_by_grace]

There for awhile something had to give.  I had way too much going on at one time. 

On September 30th, 2007 my dad passed away from Mesothelioma and a bad heart.  My dad worked for many, many years as a sheet metal worker and during that time was exposed to asbestos.  Before he passed away, I've spent some time helping my parent's out as much as I was able between working full time and taking care of my own family.

New Year's Day 2007, I took a nasty fall as the chair I was sitting in suddenly tipped backwards.  My upper back hit a plywood stand that my dad built to hold his oxygen tanks.  It tore the skin off the upper third of my back, but my neck went through the stand.  I knew nothing about whiplash at the time, but got a "crash" course as I learned that what I thought was scrapes, scratches, and bruises was actually whiplash.  It's been nearly a year and I'm still having issues with my neck, shoulders, upper back, and now my right hip as well.  My hip was fine until it was adjusted too aggressively at one of my chiropractor appointments.......because at my very first appointment the chiropractor noticed the issues with my lower back, which at the time was way out of alignment due to an untreated back injury from years before.  There are moments of time missing from my memory.....especially when I get the severe headaches that are triggered by my neck injury.  I'm told that this could be a sign of a neurological problem.  Just another thing to have checked out.....maybe it's time for me to push for a MRI to be done to try to see the extent of the damage that was done that isn't showing up on x-ray.

I've also been having issues with my children.  I've been fighting for years to get them diagnosed.  My son is now on the waiting list (once again) to be officially diagnosed for autism and I now know that he is for sure ADHD as well.  My oldest is being tested for ADHD and ODD, and my youngest was tested for ADHD and I was told there weren't any concern for her.....yet.  I also want to be tested for something called sensory defensive disorder which goes hand in hand with autism, so because of that I will be tested for autism as well.....so I'm told.  I don't think I'm autistic, but I do think I'm sensory defensive.

My husband and I have separated.......not divorced.  I get along with him fine as long as we don't have to live together.  There are many reasons for this.  My mental health was at stake due to verbal and emotional abuse and other things that were going on as well.  He's one of the few who can push me beyond my breaking point and it has almost happened......I was right on the edge and almost pushed too far.  It was like I was in a trance of some kind.......barely knowing where I was and what I was doing, there were thoughts of death and dying, and more.  Much more.  I he was into porn and was seen with another woman......he even left 3 children ages 10, 9, and 6 home alone..........it was just too much.  Something had to give.

It has been one thing after another and there are people who have known me for awhile now who say I'm still on stress overload.  There just isn't enough time in the day to get all the things done that I need to do and much more that has taken place that I haven't mentioned.

[Soldier4Christ]

Hi saved_by_grace. It's great to see you again. I'm sorry to hear of all the problems that you have been having. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

[TigerLily]

Dear saved_by_grace,
As I read your post my heart just broke for you and all you have and are going thru...
I to am just recently come back (not sure u remember me or not from before, and much has happened in my life to , am now a single mom and in midst of a divorce , but this is not about me, just say that I can relate to at least a little of what your going thru..(((((hugs)))))

I understand what ADHD and the odd (odd i understand very little) but I was wondering if you could explain a little about what "sensory defensive disorder" is?  I have a touch (per say.. ) of OCD its a obsessive compulsive disorder.. where u have and do little (and sometimes bigger) things called ticks and or constant things liek checking and rechecking things over and over and having to FORCE yourself to stop etc,, but i havent ever heard of the Sensory thing..
Please know that you and your children and your situations will be in my thoughts and prayers and I am happy that ya came back.. I myself get alot of help jsut being here and knowing I can talk and such and get the encouragment and help I need , regardless of what it is I need at any particular time as well as humor etc,, knowing also that a person can get the prayer they need from the wonderful solid christians that are here..

Im also so very sorry to hear about your daddy passin on.. I pray God will comfort u and your family in your time of sorrow, I know its never easy to loose a loved one no matter what..
And also for your getting hurt, my goodness that had to have really hurt bad, sheeesh.. Im so sorry to hear it, I do hope and pray your injuries from your fall are and will heal totally!!

Again. welcome back to CU and I pray you will get everything you have need of in every spiritually and mentally and emotionally etc...way including the need for smiling and laughter..
With much love and Big Hugs,,,
know that you have a friend in me and I will continue to pray for you ...

Hugs
Tigerlily

[nChrist]

Hello Saved_By_Grace,

It is nice to have you back, and please know that you and your family will be in our prayers. I also echo the things that TigerLily said.

Sooner or later, all Christians will have trials and times of affliction. We should all pray that we use these times to grow closer to CHRIST and stronger in HIM. It sounds strange for the world to hear us say things like this, but all people have trials and afflictions. The difference is that a Christian's trials and afflictions lead many times to better things even in this short life AND Glory for the Eternal Life to come. We are also never alone - GOD is with us every step of the way.

Love In Christ,
Tom

KEEP LOOKING UP!!

[saved_by_grace]

I understand what ADHD and the odd (odd i understand very little) but I was wondering if you could explain a little about what "sensory defensive disorder" is?  

Sensory defensive disorder is something that goes hand in hand with autism.  It affects being able to handle things that are very much related to the 5 senses

I love wheat bread, but I don't eat it because if I hit a chuck of wheat I will throw up.  Certain smells make me sick.....sometimes throw up.  To come down off of a ladder I have to focus my attention on one thing or I become instantly afraid, yet I can go up just fine.  Sometimes I can't even stand the feel of my own hair on my neck.  High pitched sounds hurts my ears.  I can see something nasty and gag or throw up.......and more.

ODD is oppositional defiant disorder.  It's different from ADD/ADHD in that the person who is ADD/ADHD doesn't willfully do things to offend people.  The person who has ODD will do things just to be mean and spiteful, will look you directly in your eyes and tell you no when you ask something of them, and more.

For more information you can type them into your search engine and get even more information.

[airIam2worship]

Hello Saved by Grace, it's great to see you back again. I am sorry you have gone thru so much, I am praying for you.

Remember 'One day at a Time', God is faithful and He will see you through.

[saved_by_grace]

Thanks for the warm welcome back and thanks for the prayers.

Yeah, life has tossed some storms our way, but it's the storms in life that form us into who we are as people.  Kind of like a training course for what's coming up next......ya know?   

[TigerLily]

your right.. but sometimes i think if this is a test.., then Lord give me my grade and move on lol.. I know thats likley not to christ like of me but I am willing to admit im human and get very tired of being tested or being in this training course.. but like u said if not for all the trials and such I been thru and am going thru.. I'd not be the "michelle" that I am today.. stronger.. more determined to find happiness and Closer to God! Ect...