Chicken Soup

[HisDaughter]

Head-Hunter

     An executive hirer, a "head-hunter" who goes out and hires corporation executives for other firms, once told me, "When I get an executive that I'm trying to hire for someone else, I like to disarm him.  I offer him a drink, take my coat off, then my vest, undo my tie, throw up my feet and talk about baseball, football, family, whatever, until he's all relaxed.  Then, when I think I've got him relaxed, I lean over, look him square in the eye and say, "What's your purpose in life?"  It's amazing how top executives fall apart at that question.
     "Well, I was interviewing this fellow the other day, had him all disarmed, with my feet up on his desk, talking about football.  Then I leaned up and said, "What's your purpose in life, Bob?'  And he said, without blinking and eye, "To got to heaven and take as many people with me as I can." For the first time in my career I was speechless."

Josh McDowell

[HisDaughter]

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

 Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine
 a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker.

 The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their
 little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker.

 I examined Belker and found he was dying of
 cancer.

 I told the family we couldn't do anything for
 Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure
 for the old dog in their home.

 As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me
 they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane
 to observe the procedure. They felt as though
 Shane might learn something from the experience.

 The next day, I felt the familiar catch in
 my throat as Belker's family surrounded him.

 Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the
 last time, that, I wondered if he
 understood what was going on.

 Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully
 away.

 The little boy seemed to accept Belker's
 transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat
 together   for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud
 about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter
 than human lives. Shane, who had been listening
 quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'

 Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of
 his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more
 comforting explanation.

 He said, 'People are born so that they can learn
 how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the
 time   and being nice, right?'

 The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already
 know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

 Live simply..

 Love generously.

 Care deeply.

 Speak kindly.

 Remember, if a dog was the teacher, you would learn things like:


 When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

 Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

 Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind
 in your face to be pure ecstasy.

 Take naps.

 Stretch before rising.

 Run, romp, and play daily.

 Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

 Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

 On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

 On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

 When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

 Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

 Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

 Stop when you have had enough.


 Never pretend to be something you're not.


 If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

 When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

 Be always grateful for each new day. 

[HisDaughter]

Learning 'bout Prayer

He came to know the Lord on a Thursday evening, and on Sunday he showed up at church. The pastor announced that we were going to have an evening service, and of course the guy didn't know enough to stay home.  So he showed up again.  That's when he learned that our church had a Bible study and prayer meeting on Wednesday night, so he came that evening as well.

I sat next to him at the prayer meeting, and just before we got started, he turned to me and asked, "Do you think they'd mind if I prayed?"
"Of course not," I assured him.  "That's what we're here for."
"Yeah, I know, " he said, "but I've got a problem.  I can't pray the way you people do."
I told him, "That's no problem, friend.  You should thank God for that!"

Well, we started praying, and I could tell he was too nervous to take part.  Finally, I put my hand on his thigh to encourage him.  I'll never forget his prayer: "Lord, this is Jim," he began.  "I'm the one who met you last Thursday night?  I'm sorry, Lord, because I can't say it he way the rest of these people do, but I want to tell you the best I know how.  I love you, Lord.  I really do.  Thanks a lot.  I'll see you later."

I tell you, that prayer ignited our prayer meeting!  Some of us had been doing a good job of talking about theology in prayer - you know, exploring the universe of doctrine, scraping the Milky Way with our big words.  But this guy prayed---earnestly!

Howard Hendricks (condensed)

[HisDaughter]

Overcoming Obstacles

Consider this:

Woody Allen - Academy Award winning writer, producer and director- flunked motion picture production at New York University and the City College or New York.  He also failed English at New York University.

When Lucille Ball began studying to be an actress in 1927, she was told by the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School, "Try any other profession.  Any other."

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency, told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker (Marilyn Monroe), "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."

Malcolm Forbes, the late editor-in-chief of Forbes magazine, one of the most successful business publications in the world, failed to make the staff of the school newspaper when he was an under-graduate at Princeton University.

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company.  The executives were not impressed.  While turning down this British rock group called the Beatles, one executive said, "We don't like their sound.  Groups of guitars are on the way out."
(personal note: I'm not a Beatles fan either!)

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers.  After making a demonstraton call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"

Louis L'Amour, sucessful author of over 100 western novels with over 200 million copies in print, received 350 rejections before he made his first sale.  He later became the first American novelist to recieve a special congrssional gold medal in recognition of his distinguished career as an author and contributor to the nation through his historically based works.
(personal note:  I've read every book he wrote!)

I have a few more of these so I will continue with them tomorrow!

[HisDaughter]

Overcoming Obstacles
(cont.)

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2,000 experiments before he got it to work.  a young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times.  He said, "I never failed once.  I invented the light bulb.  It just happened to be a 2,000 step process."

General Douglas MacArthur might never have gained power and fame without persistence.  When he applied for admission to West Point, he was turned down, not once but twice.  But he tried a third time, was accepted and marched into the history books.

Abraham Lincoln entered Blackhawk War as a captain.  By the end of the war, he had been demoted to the rank of private.

After having lost both legs in an air crash, British fighter pilot Douglas Bader rejoined the British Royal Air Force with two artificial limbs.  During World War II he was captured by the Germans three times -- and three times he escaped.

When Pablo Casals reached 95, a young reporter threw him the following question. "Mr. Casals, you are 95 and the greatest cellist that ever lived.  Why do you still practice six hours a day?"  Mr. Casals answered, "Because I think I'm making progress."

[HisDaughter]

Be Yourself

You do not have to be your mother unless she is who you want to be.  You do not have to be your mother's mother, or your mother's mother's mother, or even your grandmother's mother on your father's side.  You may inherit their chins or their hips or their eyes, but you are not destined to become the women who came before you.  You are not destined to live their lives.  So if you inherit something, inherit their strength, their resilience.  Because the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

Pam Finger

[HisDaughter]

One Solitary Life

He was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman.  He grew up in still another village, where he worked in a carpenter shop until he was thirty.  Then for three years he was an itinerant preacher.
He never wrote a book.
He never held an office.
He never had a family or owned a house.
He didn't go to college.
He never traveled 200 miles from the place where he was born.  He did none of these things one usually associates with greatness.
He was only 33 when public opinion turned against him.
His friends ran away.  He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial.  He was nailed to a cross between two thieves.
When he was dying, his executioners gambled for his clothing, the only property he had on earth.  When he was dead, he was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.
Nineteen centuries have come and gone, and today he is the central figure of the human race, the leader of mankind's progress.
All the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the parliaments that ever sat, all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man on earth as much as that One Solitary Life.

author unknown

[HisDaughter]

The Wall

Their Wedding picture mocked them from the table, these two whose minds no longer touched each other.

They lived with such a heavy barricade between them the neither battering ram of words nor artilleries of touch could break it down.

Somewhere, between the oldest child's first tooth and the youngest daughter's graduation, they lost each other.

Throughout the years each slowly unraveled that tangled ball of string called self, and as they tugged at stubborn knots, each hid his searching from the other.

Sometimes she cried at night and begged the whispering darkness to tell her who she was.  He lay beside her, snoring like a hibernating bear, unaware of her winter.

Once, after they had made love, he wanted to tell her how afraid he was of dying, but fearful to show his naked soul. he spoke instead of the beauty of her breasts.

She took a course on modern art, trying to find herself in colors splashed upon canvas, complaining to the other women about men who are insensitive.

He climbed into the tomb called "The Office," wrapped his mind in a shroud of paper figures, and buried himself in customers.

Slowly, the wall between them rose, cemented by the mortar of indifference.

One day, reaching out to touch each other, they found a barrier they could not penetrate, and recoiling from the coldness of the stone, each retreated from the stranger on the other side.

For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle, not when fiery bodies lose their heat.  It lies panting, exhausted expiring at the bottom of a wall it could not scale.

[HisDaughter]

Answering The Call

     Father John's little desert parish truly loved and appreciated his sincere style and caring ways.  During the Sign of Peace, he always called all of the children attending Mass to come up and give him hugs.  He did it for himself I'm sure, but he did it for the children too.  Each and every child waited for the time during Mass when he or she cold stand next to the altar, be the center of attention and hug the not-so-old, and slightly plump priest.
     On on particular sunday, after all the hugs were thought to have been completed and the "Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world," had begun, one small voice from half-way back in the church said, "What about me?"  Father John stopped his prayer, and held out his arms.  The little freckled face, slicked back hair, shiny cowboy boots and shorts, ran down the aisle towards the altar, crying because he thought he had been forgotten.  Father John just held out his arms, picked up the little boy and held him very near, and held him very dear.
     Three weeks later, I returned to the little desert parish and there was a different priest, one I didn't recognize, saying Mass.  I sat next to a woman who silently cried as she held my hand as we all sang, "Our Father, who art in Heaven..."  It seems that Father John had lost his place in the same part of Mass the Sunday before.  He told his parishioners, "As the Lord so taught us to pray..." and the parish responded with the Lord's Prayer.  And after they were finished, Father John again said, "As the Lord so taught us to pray..." and again, the confused, but willing parish responded with the Lord's Prayer.  And for a third time after the prayer was finished, Father John said, "As the Lord so taught us to pray..."  But then, before his willing congregation could have obliged him for the third time, Father John stopped, and he fainted, and then Father John died.  And once again, Father John had stopped his prayer, and held out his arms, and he answered the one who called out to him.

Edward B. Mullen

[HisDaughter]

If I Could Do It, You Can Too!

     I began life, literally, with nothing.  Given p as an infant by my biological mother, an unmarried young woman from the small town of Moose Jaw in Saskatchewan, Canada, I was adopted by a poor middle aged couple, John and Mary Linkletter.
     My adoptive father was one of the warmest men I've ever known, but he had absolutely no ability as a businessman.  A part-time evangelical preacher, he also tried selling insurance, running a small general store and making shoes, all rather unsuccessfully.  Eventually we found ourselves living in a charity home run by a local church in San Diego.  Then Dad Linkletter felt called by God to become a full-time preacher, and we had even less money.  And what we did have was usually shared with whatever neighborhood derelict happened to be looking for a meal.
     I graduated from high school early and hit the road as a hobo at the tender age of 16 with the idea of finding my fortune.  One of the first things I found, however, was the wrong end of a pistol: my traveling companion and I were held up by a couple of toughs who found us sleeping in a boxcar.
     "Put your hands straight out and lie flat!" one of the men ordered.  "If this match goes out and I hear anything more I'll shoot."  As they searched our pockets and felt around our middles, I wondered if money was all they wanted.  I was frightened because I had heard stories of older hobos sexually attacking young boys.  Just then, the match went out...and was hastily re lit.  We did not move!  The thieves found $1.30 on me but missed $10.00 I had sewn into my coat lining.  They also took two dollars from my friend, Denver Fox.
     The match went out again and I could tell by their hesitation that they were undecided about something.  As Denver and I lay there, inches apart in the darkness, I heard the hammer of the pistol click back and a cold chill ran down my back.  I knew they were considering killing us.  There was little risk for them.  The rain hammering down on the outside of the boxcar would drown out any noise.  Frozen with terror, I thought of my father and how he would have prayed for me had he known.  Suddenly fear left me, and peace and calm returned.  As if in response to my own restored self-assurance, they moved back toward us.  Then I could feel one of the men push something against my arm.
     "Here's your thirty cents," he said.  "Breakfast money."
     Today I can look back on 45 years as star of two of the longest running shows in broadcasting history; I can reflect on the success I've had as a businessman, author, and lecturer; and I can be proud of my wonderful family life - 58 years with the same wife, five children, seven grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren.  I mention this not to be boastful but to encourage others who are at the lower rung of the economic ladder.  Keep in mind where I started and remember, if I could do it, you can too!  Yes --you can!

Art Linkletter

[HisDaughter]

TWENTY FIVE REASONS I OWE  MY MOTHER





1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB  WELL DONE .

'If you're going to kill each other,  do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me  RELIGION.

'You better pray that will come out of  the carpet.'

3. My  mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

'If you  don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you  into the middle of next week!' 

4. My mother taught me  LOGIC.

' Because I said so, that's why.' 

5. My mother taught me  MORE LOGIC.

'If you fall out of that swing and  break your neck,
you're not  going to the store with  me.'

6. My mother  taught me FORESIGHT.

'Make sure you wear clean  underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY 

'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry  about.'

8. My mother  taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

'Shut  your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about  CONTORTIONISM.

'Will you look at that dirt on the  back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about  STAMINA.

'You'll sit there until all that spinach  is gone.'

11. My  mother taught me about WEATHER.

'This room of  yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about  HYPOCRISY.

'If I told you once, I've told you a  million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF  LIFE.

'I brought you into this world, and I can  take you out.'

14. My  mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. 

'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY  .

 'There are millions of less fortunate children  in this world
who don't have  wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about  ANTICIPATION.

'Just wait until we get home.' 

17. My mother taught  me about RECEIVING .

'You are going to get it  when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL  SCIENCE.

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes,  they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP. 

'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 

20. My mother taught  me HUMOUR.

'When that lawn mower cuts off your  toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN  ADULT .

'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll  never grow up.'

22. My  mother taught me GENETICS.

'You're just like your  father.'

23. My mother  taught me about my ROOTS.

'Shut that door behind  you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me  WISDOM.
'When you get to be my

age, you'll  understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE 

'One day you'll have kids, and I hope  they turn out just like you!!

[HisDaughter]

Heaven's Grocery Store

I was walking down Life's Highway a long time ago
One day I saw a sign that read, "Heaven's Grocery Store"
As I got a little closer, the door came open wide
And when I came to myself, I was standing inside!
I saw a host of Angels; they were standing everywhere
One Angel said, "My child, shop with care".
Everything a Christian needed was in that grocery store
And all you couldn't carry, you could come back the next day for more!
First I got some Patience; Love was in the same row
Further down was Understanding; you need that everywhere you go
I got a box of two of Wisdom, a bag or two of Faith
I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost, for it was all over the place!
I stopped to get some Strength and Courage, to help me run the race
By then my basket was getting full, but I remembered to get some grace
I didn't forget Salvation, for Salvation, that was free
So I tried to get enough of that, to save both you and me!
Then I started for the counter to pay my grocery bill,
For I thought I had everything to do my Master's will
As I went up the aisle I saw Prayer and put that in
For I knew when I stepped outside, I'd run right into sin.
Song and Praises were hanging near, do I just helped myself
When I said, "How much do I owe?"
I got a smile; "Just take them everywhere you go."
But I insisted, "How much do I really owe?"
He just smiled and said:
"My child, Jesus paid your bill a long, long time ago."

Lorine Woody

[HisDaughter]

Communion

     Of all the rituals and colorful ceremonies that children see performed in church, perhaps the most misunderstoon of all is the sacrament of Communion.  Seeing the bread and wine (or grape juice) used in this rite, children often think that refreshments are being served.

Attending his first Mass, one small boy listened as the altar boys rand the bells for the consecration, and yelled, "Come and get it!"  Whereupon those who were to take Communion went and got it.

A boy of three was intrigued by the Communion rite and watched every move of the priest until he finished by wiping the chalice.  Then the boy turned to his mother and said, "He's doing the dishes, Mom...now can we go home?"

After doing her best to explain the ceremony to her daughter, a young mother went to the Communion rail.  As she returned, the girl asked, "When will it be my turn to eat lunch with God?"

Kneeling beside his mother at Mass after she returned from taking Communion, a boy asked, "How does that pill taste?"  Since she was praying silently to herself, she didn't answer.  The he tried again: "It's the kind of pill that puts you to sleep, huh?"

Dick Van Dyke

There are several of these so I will spread them out over the weekend.

[HisDaughter]

Communion

(cont.)

Trying to acquaint her five-year-old son with the ritual of the Mass, a mother gave her boy a picture missal so he could see in front of him what was going on at the altar during Communion.  The boy watched as the priest opened the tabernacle, removed the chalice, and drank the wine.  Then the boy pointed to the tabernacle in his book and asked, "Is that the little refrigerator where he keeps his drinks?"

While visiting his aunt in Columbus, Mississippi, a second grader attended the local Methodist Church with her.  after they knelt at the altar and partook of the Communion bread and wine, the boy asked, "Aunt Audrey, is that all we'll have to eat up in Heaven?"

A young married couple who were baptized into the First Presbyterian Church in Hollywood brought along their seven-year-old son, Michael, to see the ceremony.  His mother explained in advance about baptism, but she had forgotten to explain that Communion would also be offered to the entire congregation.  After the service, she asked him what the thought of the morning's events.  "Well," he said, "I didn't think much of the cookies, and there wasn't enough juice."

Another woman brought her grandson along for Episcopal services.  The boy watched as the priest at the altar prepared Communion and said, "Look, Grandma...God is making Kool-Aid!"

Dick Van Dyke

[HisDaughter]

Communion

(cont.)

When his father returned and knelt in prayer after receiving the Blessed Host, a 14 year old asked, "They got any chocolate ones up there?"

Not all children are disappointed by what's served at Communion.  A teenager's mother tells me he came home after a week at church camp to report that Communion was the only decent meal they had.

A boy over heard his parents talking about going to the Lord's Supper and told his brother, "I hope we have chicken!"

The last word on Communion comes from a four-year-old Catholic boy who told his dad what had happened in church that day: "The Father called on some of the people to come down front, and he gave them each an Alka-Seltzer!"

Dick Van Dyke