Mushroom Smothered Steak (joke)

[Debp]

Mushroom Smothered Steak

Five couples in a neighborhood decided to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, they formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month.

When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price was far more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "I think we aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive."

He said , "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."

She said, "No, I have heard that wild mushrooms can be poisonous."

He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some mushrooms. She brought them back home and washed, sliced, and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful, putting a mess of bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady she knew from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.

About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but being this early we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."

It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They looked pretty peaked sitting around the living room.

About that time, the hired lady from town came in and said, "You know, I think the fellow that drove the ambulance looks just like the one who ran over Spot an hour ago, but he didn't stop so I can't be certain."

[HisDaughter]

I came over here because the title caught my eye as I'm hungry and it's almost lunch time.  Think I'll have a sandwich!

[Jon-Marc]

I've never liked mushrooms anyway.

[Shammu]

I've never like mushrooms anyway.

H00 W00!!!!

Another one like me, that doesn't like shrooms!!!!!

[David_james]

How can you not like mushrooms?  They are one of the best foods our Lord has made.

[HisDaughter]

Mushrooms on steak
Mushroom burgers
Mushroom gravy
Mushroom soup - alone or cook with it
Grilled mushrooms
Mushrooms in green salad
Pickled mushrooms
Mushrooms on pizza

I know there is more, but need I say more?
Love em'!

[Jon-Marc]

How can you not like mushrooms?  They are one of the best foods our Lord has made.

It's a fungus like what I've had growing in a corner in my RV from all the rain. The reason I don't like them is because they smell and taste NASTY! I wonder how some people don't like some things I like too--like coconut. I LOVE it, but my daughter says it's like chewing on fingernails. I think coconut tastes a LOT better than fingernails, and it's not as tough to chew. 

[Soldier4Christ]

Mushrooms on steak
Mushroom burgers
Mushroom gravy
Mushroom soup - alone or cook with it
Grilled mushrooms
Mushrooms in green salad
Pickled mushrooms
Mushrooms on pizza

I know there is more, but need I say more?
Love em'!

mushrooms in spaghetti or liver and onions with mushrooms.   

[Soldier4Christ]

It's a fungus like what I've had growing in a corner in my RV from all the rain. The reason I don't like them is because they smell and taste NASTY! I wonder how some people don't like some things I like too--like coconut. I LOVE it, but my daughter says it's like chewing on fingernails. I think coconut tastes a LOT better than fingernails, and it's not as tough to chew. 

lol ... I think the mushrooms are a bit more nutritious and much better tasting than what's in the corner of your RV. Coconut isn't too bad as long as it isn't straight from the coconut.

[HisDaughter]

mushrooms in spaghetti or liver and onions with mushrooms.  

OH YEAH!  Forgot about those.  Ummmm Liver and onions!  I like to put them in my lasagna too.  And omletts!  Actually there good anytime except with the Captian Crunch. 

[Soldier4Christ]

Actually there good anytime except with the Captian Crunch. 

  I think I would have a problem with them there also.

 

[Shammu]

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I really like my liver and onions!!

Lose the shrooms!!

[Kris777]

LIVER!!!! (YUCK)

[Shammu]

LIVER!!!! (YUCK)

Pass the liver sister.....................

[HisDaughter]

Pass the liver sister.....................

Oh Yeah!  Actually haven't had that in while.  Makin' me hungry!