Hurting and have doubts-need help

[Needhelp]

Ok here I go....This is my first post to this board and I really need to get somethings out and need guidance!
First of all let me say my wife and I were very active Christians at one time and have seriously backslid. Here is our story.
We were very active in a church until our business made us move to an unknown town. We were in church for about 4 yrs str8 and then when we moved after trying numerous churches (what we considered to be dead churches) we gave up. You can imagine the devil had a feild day with us. Dont get me wrong I understand we all have free will. My wife and I made alot of sinful choices. We gave up on trying to find a church. I became resentful toward God for not allowing us to find one when we were in such a vulnerable transitional period in our life. Within 3 years and 8 mths without God in our life this is where we ended up. As of yesterday my wife and I got on our knees and confessed our sins and and prayed for forgiveness. We willfully sinned after being in the grace of God.  The story of David w/ Basheeba gives us hope that we are truly forgiven but the verses in Hebrews 6:4/10:26-29 really make us doubt if God will take us back in his fold.  Is this the devil trying to keep us from God's Grace or is this our knowledge of what these words in Hebrews seem to mean that we truly are condemned. 
About 8 mths ago my wife and I sought out and got involved with a private swingers club and all the sexual deviancy that goes along with it. We have had plenty of convictions about it throughout the 8 mths but just kept pushing them aside each time our hearts growing harder. My wife and I finally got on our Knees.  Does it matter or is it too late for us.  Make no mistake about the fact that we are christians with fairly conservatives views.  3 yrs and 8 mths later with no spiritual leadership and the natural depravity of man without God as an active role in our lives and woolah! You have my wife and I.   
I, the husband am not writing this to be judged by other Christians but to seek guidance on where to go from here.
Before willingly walking away from God I knew all we had to do was confess and ask for forgiveness but Hebrews opens up some serious doubts that really scare the heck out of me.
Please, mature, prayed on christian responses. I understand the theological doctrines can of worms this could open up but I need concise Biblical answers Now. Please dont make the mistake of saying we must have never been christians in the first place because, our prior expriences with God while we were in His light and His will has proven otherwise.
Thank you for your time - Hurting

[nChrist]

Hello Needhelp,

WELCOME!

I sincerely hope that you enjoy Christians Unite.

First, I will tell you that you and many other people grossly misunderstand Hebrews. It is a difficult book to understand because of contrasts between Law and Grace and many specific problems that Jews at the time of CHRIST had and still have. Hebrews is a lengthy and very difficult study. We do have several threads on the forum that address parts of Hebrews. At this point, I simply tell you from what you said that you are misunderstanding it.

There is only one unpardonable sin since JESUS and the CROSS: Rejection of JESUS CHRIST as Lord and Saviour. All Christians still have need for forgiveness on a frequent basis, and I do mean all. We are no longer under the Law, and that's wonderful. If we are guilty of one sin, we are guilty of all according to the Bible. The sin in the mind is also the same as the deed - BUT REMEMBER WHAT JESUS CHRIST DID ON THE CROSS!

PRAY - REPENT - ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS - AND YOU WILL BE FORGIVEN. I'm not trying to minimize this at all, rather I'm telling you to stop seeking answers from the Law - GO TO THE CROSS. Hebrews is a beautiful book because it makes dramatic contrasts between Law and Grace. One must remember the huge conflict that raged at the time of Paul, specifically with Jews and Jewish Christians who were still trying to justify themselves with the Law. The other Apostles were guilty of causing some of this conflict, and they didn't understand everything that happened at the CROSS until it was explained to them. It was still a matter of conflict then, and it's a matter of conflict now.

Please don't misunderstand what I tried to tell you. Again, I am not minimizing what has been done. I am saying that GOD will forgive you if you pray, repent, and mean it. I hope this helps some. King David committed a like sin in the Old Testament, and we know that he was a man after GOD'S own heart. This was before the CROSS, and I think that we all know what happened. David was punished and suffered loss, but HE is Saved. David's crime was a physical death penalty offense at the time, but we know that David truly sought forgiveness. David will spend Eternity with JESUS. Now we have an advocate and mediator who is also our judge - JESUS CHRIST, our Lord and Saviour forever.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Psalms 9:9-10 NASB  The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble;  And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.

[Needhelp]

Thank You for taking time out of your life to give guidance Blackeyepeas. I know we have a long road to recovery for our family but I thank you for giving me hope.   We have been in the Word all day and praying. Please pray for us.
I know this is the only way to start. I also know what we have done is horrible and I pray never to see such dark days in my journey again.  I pray that God will bless This ministry for it has been invaluable to me because I dont have a church I can call home yet. As of this week we will be going to our friends church.

[nChrist]

Hello Needhelp,

You are most welcome, and I will be praying for you and your wife. I think that many will read this and also be praying for you.

Love in Christ,
Tom

1 John 2:1 NASB  My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;

1 John 2:2 NASB  and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.

[Soldier4Christ]

Hi Needhelp,

Welcome to Christians Unite.

I will be praying for you and your wife in this and that the Lord will lead you to a proper Church.

[Needhelp]

Wow! I took Hebrews way out of context. Throughout my sinning I never doubted there was  God or that Jesus died for my sins. I did however live for the flesh rather than for God. The Hebrews passages were trying to clarify between the old Law and the New Covenant of Jesus Christ Blood to the Jews. If You dont believe that Jesus's Blood was the final sacrifice for our sins than there is nothing else that can be done because Jesus cant be crucified again.
It is all so clear to me now and I thank this message board and God for revealing the truth to me.
I know I am not the first person who has misinterpreted Hebrews but in my humble opinon it is about the context of the passages and to who it was written.

[nChrist]

Hello Needhelp,

I literally fell asleep at the computer last night. So, I took an old-guy nap.   

I'm very happy that you know now that you can be forgiven. We can all be forgiven because of the perfect and completed work of JESUS CHRIST on the Cross.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Romans 8:26-27 NASB  In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 

[Allinall]

Hey Needy!  I'm Allinall.  Actually, I'm Kevin, but I go by Allinall.     I thought I'd just offer this bit of encouragement:

And he said, "There was a man who had two sons.  And the younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.' And he divided his property between them.  Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living.  And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs.  And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
   

 "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger!  I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."'  And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.  And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'  But the father said to his servants, 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.  For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:11-24

I was there myself once.  Different circumstances, but the end result was the same.  I was in the pig pen looking back towards home.  I got up, brushed myself off, stopped serving the unclean desires I had, and went home.  I expected a back row treatment...but I got the hug, the kiss, the provision, and the relationship I had forsaken.  So.  Does God want the two of you back?  You might have to ask Him to tone down on the hugs, the blessings, the celebrating before He gives you His most affirmative - YES.   Welcome home guys!   

His,

Kevin

[Allinall]

Thank You for taking time out of your life to give guidance Blackeyepeas. I know we have a long road to recovery for our family but I thank you for giving me hope.   We have been in the Word all day and praying. Please pray for us.
I know this is the only way to start. I also know what we have done is horrible and I pray never to see such dark days in my journey again.  I pray that God will bless This ministry for it has been invaluable to me because I dont have a church I can call home yet. As of this week we will be going to our friends church.

Oh!  This one too!

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.  Only let us hold true to what we have attained. " - Philippians 3:13-15

I love this passage because it speaks of our focus.  Forget the past.  Be wary of your own temptations, but forget the failures.  Press on.  From here on.  Move on!  Don't let yourself focus on what you've failed to do, or have done, but focus on what God HAS done for you and IS doing in you!   

His,

Kevin

[Soldier4Christ]

focus on what God HAS done for you and IS doing in you!

AMEN!

[heirtoHisriches]

Hello, this is wonderful to hear "read".  I recently have held a discussion about a like matter with a group I keep.  It was entitled "Sin Free?"  and was a discussion about whether or not we could live "Free of Sin."  Although we had concluded that it was possible (only through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ), we were able to establish that it no other way obtainable.

We were also able to dive into another discussion about the differences Salvation and Sanctification.  Salvation is only through Jesus Christ and is given not earned.  And though we have been called to "Sanctification" (being set apart) or in other words "try to be good", that too is only through the strength, protection and guidance of God the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost.

Here were a couple of the realizations that were concluded:

The word says greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. So i feel living a sin free life is only possible through Jesus. With Him we can do all things but without Him we can do nothing but fail. I always tell my children, friends and family that the more of God you put in you the more of Him that will come out. Living sin free is a process but it is truely possible if you have the desire to seek God's face daily. the more of the world you put in you the more of the world is going to come out.

and the other...

Totally awesome reply! I agree, with you. Thank you for such a response as this. It is possible, though we (as a people) have a habit to reflect more upon suffering, sinning and repentence. With meditating on the Word both Day and Night it makes it so much easier to see the truth and walk it out.

It's a thing about committment and dedication, seeking His face everywhere and seeing that He gets the glory in everything. We will definitely go further into detail about that statement 'what comes out is dependant upon what goes in'.

and a favorite...

regardless of our personal oppinions and experiences, the word of God clearly speaks that we no longer are of the same nature(2 Corin 5:17,18); we have been made the "righteousness of God in [Christ]"(2 Corinthians 5:21). without any glorious vocabulary or astonishing syntax, you could very easily and justly say that because of the absolute core of our being, it is Definitely possible, and expected by our God, that we live free of sin in action. not to mention the fact that our entire system of salvation and belief in Christ is built upon faith, meaning it is not of us(2 Corin 3:5,6) that we accomplish anything on this earth but of our trust in the power of God and the immaculate helpmeet we know as the Holy Spirit.

Honestly, how could God glory in us before this system that we live in if we do something that is possible by our own ability?

I hope that I don't complicate the situation as I see that you have received quite the substantial of excellent information prior to my response, but I must say that redemption is not of us and can only be lost if we don't accept it.  Even if you don't have a church of your own (I don't either right now and understand your circumstances), the battle over your heart and mind is won or lost in your environment.  What are the things that you surround yourself with.

If you control what you hear, see, touch, feel smell and taste then you control what the enemy can use against you as he tries to "re-separate" you from God.

[nChrist]

Oh!  This one too!

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.  Only let us hold true to what we have attained. " - Philippians 3:13-15

I love this passage because it speaks of our focus.  Forget the past.  Be wary of your own temptations, but forget the failures.  Press on.  From here on.  Move on!  Don't let yourself focus on what you've failed to do, or have done, but focus on what God HAS done for you and IS doing in you!   :)

His,

Kevin

Amen and Amen Brother Kevin!

The Bible and you just spoke volumes. We are all unworthy, but our Lord and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST, is completely worthy. All of our hopes and promises are in HIM.

Brother, it's great to hear from you. We've been missing you. I hope that you had a beautiful Christmas in the LORD. I can tell you that I did. I really like to celebrate and thank JESUS every day, and I think that most Christians feel the same way. Every day belongs to HIM - "Let us be glad and rejoice in it."

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Brother Jerry]

Needhelp,

A few days late to the party.  But I am here.  Let me first state a hearty welcome to CU.

And you and your wife have come to the right place...no I do not mean CU...but your knees.  It has already been pointed out that God is not coming to you but waiting for you.  He is standing at the door holding it and waiting to greet you as the prodigal son.  As it has been mentioned.

Take heart that you are not alone in anything you have done or will do.  Christ was there with you.  And I know there are others here, like myself that have have fallen flat on our faces and then were thankful we were there so that we could pray

And go at the church searching in the same manner.  With prayer.  Bible believing, Bible preaching, and yes fundamentalist are what to look for.  You know what you want in a church, but ask God what you need in a church and He will show you His house to visit.  If the focus is on Him then you know you cannot go wrong

[ludwig]

dear needhelp
I have been there like you once
I felt empty I did not feel like a Christian.  I didnt even know if I still had the Holy Spirit.  I thought I had backslided beyond recall. I couldnt get back
to God.  I felt like I was an unbeliever.
then I asked a Christian friend if I was still a Christian.
The beautiful answer which can only come from God or be inspired by Him was 'Do you still believe that Christ died for you?'
my answer was 'YES'.  i still believed. I have always believed and never STOPPED BELIEVING!  The heavens opened and it was a
beautiful revelation.
If you seek hard enough our Father in heaven WILL SURELY confirm your salvation in a very real way like what happened to me.
PRAISE THE LORD. May the Lord bless you and your wife and keep you in His love and embrace.  Amen.