marriage problems

[sdp7280]

HI LADIES  --I am new to this forum and izineed prayers and some good christian feedback!!I was divorced  in 1991-waited several years to look for a husband because I loved my 1st husband so much!! and prayed we would reunite and it did not happen-  starting in 2000 I looked on christian single websites and after a while- met a man-we saw each other 4 times in person for about   6 days each time- -then I moved to his place about  500 miles away-we lived together for 5 months--(That was a bad mistake) then we got married--married now about 1 year--I wish I had moved up here and gotten my own apartment and dated him ( a platonic relationship) and then maybe I would have known what to expect but MY problem now is I am very unhappy !!with this man--- I know the Lord does not like divorce --But I also know The Lord does not want us to be miserable--Does anyone know some good scriptures I could read about a situation in marriage like this-? -I have not said anything to him-I am not sure if he senses how I feel or not- He is one of those guys that STUFF goes right over his head  you know what I mean?--I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place--I want to go home and get this marriage annulled!!!! but  don't know what I can do and not expect punishment from GOD-maybe I would not -but I am not sure- I am a christian for many years  now--but not as learned as I could be about bible scriptures etc.- PLEASE HELP WITH SOME ANSWERS HERE    Thanks and God Bless--Please write soon I am so anxious about this mess I am in

[Psalm 119]

I'm sorry to hear that you are having difficulties, but your problems may aslo be the consequences of sin. I don't want to beat you over the head...You realize that you have made mistakes (sins) so I'll direct you to the Word of God. He alone is the truth giver. I hope you will read them and pray,and ask for His divine direction. Obedience to His Word is where the real contentment is.

Love,
Psalm 119

Read the following passages regarding marriage:

I Corinthians 7 (whole chapter)
Matthew 19:9
Matthew 5:32
Luke 16:18
Malachi 2:16

[sdp7280]

Hi thanks for the reply and I DID READ all the scriptures you suggested--I know when We lived together before we married that it was wrong -I have prayed for forgiveness and know that i am forgiven and would never do anything like that again-I mentioned to my husband about a month ago about the fact that I get criticized etc so often and said to him maybe some marriage counseling would help-He emphatically said to me "I WOULD NEVER GET MARRIAGE COUNSELING"-which of course is not a good idea -he  has trouble seeing his own faults-I AM open to reading scriptures and talking to the pastor about our problems (which he thinks we do not have)-in fact th pastor is coming to our place tomorrow night-we are not sure why he is coming he just mentioned sunday at church he wanted to stop by-I feel I should mention something to my husband tonight before he comes over that I think some marriage counseling is in order--I thank you for your response-Please pray for us--If I had it my way I would pack my bags-move home-but I know according to th bible I have to do it the LORD's way--My husband is so hard to live with at times -after  1 1/2 years of living with him- I just feel I could burst with stress-he has a lot of anger from what happened in his first marriage-she committed adultery on him--he is still vey Angry about all of this-- I understand it-but he has to let go of that anger-I feel I am getting the brunt of his anger because of the failed marriage-He was only divorced  barely  2 years when we remarried--so I feel like My whole world is falling down on me--Just pray for us OK  thanks and GOD BLESS

[Psalm 119]

sdp,

I just wanted to also share that I've been married to the same man for nearly 28 years. We married young and were unsaved. I came to know the Lord after 4 years of marriage, he didn't until we were married 16 years. Although, he was a "good" husband he was an  unsaved husband. This would put a strain on our household at times; especially with child rearing.

All the while I wanted God to get a hold of him; God first wanted to deal with me. Yes, I was saved, but I needed to grow up in the Lord. And when I quit striving about my husband; God miraculously saved him; and in a big way.

Were all the trials worth it; you bet!

God wants us to be faithful to Him, above all things. And allow the Lord to deal with your husband.

Jesus, I just pray right now, that you would touch sdp's heart and mind. Give her a heart of forgiveness. Make her into the woman that you intended her to be. Convict her husband of his anger; and lead him to repentance. Lord make this a Christ honoring home....in Jesus precious name."

Psalm 119

[Willowbirch]

  Pray!

[sissy_momof2]

I came across the following today in my devotional.  Although it covers suffering in general, I think it might help.  I hope it does.  Heavenly Father, may she be comforted through this article & scriptures. In Jesus Christ's Name, Amen.  
Yours in Christ,  
--------------------------
Excerped from an article on suffering:

The Good News
Suffering may belong to this world and us with it while we live here, but the good news is that we do not belong to this world forever. Jesus saves us in at least three ways by His grace through faith:
1. By His death on the cross we have been saved from the penalty of sin – past
2. By His resurrection we can and are being saved daily from the power of sin – present
3. By His ascension we will be saved from the presence of sin - future
We are not to be conformed to this world but are called to present ourselves as “living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God” (Romans 12:1-2). When we allow Christ to transform us, we will “be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
God’s will is not for our comfort, convenience, safety, security, health, personal rights, prestige, position, authority and power. But because the will of God is for us to be conformed to the image of His Son, all things work together for our good.
We suffer adversity:
 in order to be glorified with Him (Romans 8:16-19)
 in order that the life of Jesus may be manifested (shown) in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:7-11)
 to cease from sin (from lust to the will of God) (I Peter 4:1-2)
 for our blessing (I Peter 4:12-19)
 to perfect us, confirm us, strengthen us and establish us (I Peter 5:8-10)
 to produce eternal glory (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
to help us to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
 to produce perseverance, proven character, hope and love of God in our hearts (by the Holy Spirit) (Romans 5:3-5)
 to keep His Word and learn His statutes (Psalm 119:67, 71)
 as a testimony and encouragement to other Christians and to be able to experience God's comfort and so comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)
 in order not to trust in ourselves, but in God (2 Corinthians 1:8, 9)
 to be a living demonstration of God's power, to keep us from exalting ourselves; to show it isn't our strength (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
 to prepare us to reign with Him (2 Timothy 2:9-12)
 to produce endurance (James 1:3, 2 Timothy 4:5)
The Choice
The real issue is not what happens to us, but how we respond.
1. Negative Response - a response of unbelief characterized by
a) Blaming someone else (Galatians 5:15; Romans 12:14, 17-19, 21)
b) Indulging in self-pity (I Peter 4:12; Hebrews 12:3-13)
c) Fostering unforgiveness - bitterness, resentment, hostility, withdrawal (Hebrews 12:15; Matthew 6:14-15, Mark 11:24-25
d) Fighting against suffering - attacking others, self-justification (James 3:13-18; Matthew 5:44; 2 Timothy 2:24,25)
2. Positive response - a response of faith
a) Affirming that God loves us (Romans 8:1, 31-39)
b) Remembering that Jesus understands (Isaiah 53:1-12; Hebrews 4:15, 5:1-9, 12:2-4)
c) Affirming that God can use all things for good (Romans 8:28)
d) Specifically giving thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
e) As a step of faith, considering it joy (James 1:2-4)
f) Exulting in tribulation (Romans 5:3)
We cannot escape suffering, but we can choose to respond in faith. Christ is our hope, our salvation, our comfort and our refuge.
Supplemental Verses:
Philippians 3:20-21, 4:6-7
1 Corinthians 15:50-58
Romans 8:17-39
1 Peter 4:1-3, 4:7-19, 5:7-11
John 8:44
James 4:7
Hebrews 11:39

[Tamara]

What a lovely reply Sissy.  In a condensed version.  Ask Father to take control of your life.
He will never leave you nor forsake you.  
SD, just relax and ask Father to take control.  A Christian Singles Website would suggest that you were desperate for a loving christian marriage.  But, it doesn't happen that way as sometimes the men there may just be looking for a good christian wife and. may no truly be christians at all!
Obviously, you have a close walk with father, so I would suggest you just relax and let Him take over the steering wheel of your life completely.
There is one thing to be thankful for; there are no children to the marriage.  
So sit back Darling, and just relax.  Father has His own way of taking control.

Love...Tamara.

[emp821]

I am sort of having the same problem as you only my husband is abusive. But I just wanted to ask you for prayer and tell you that you arent alone. YOU HAVE MY PRAYERS and if you come up with any answers let me know and vice versa.

[sissy_momof2]

Hello  
It's been a very long time since I signed in on this forum, but something prompted me to check in again and I read this thread.  I don't know how life is going for sdp7280 (the thread starter), but as for your question emp821, I will say this.  Our bodies belong to the Lord and it is His temple.  If you have a physically abusive spouse, the Lord Jesus doesn't expect you to live with such a man.  He does not respect or honor the fact that the Lord owns our bodies.  Our bodies are for us to use while we are here on this earth.  We are not to abuse them, and most defintely a person who took a vow to honor and protect us should not abuse us.  I know perfectly well that my response will not help you in the real sense or solve your current situation, but that is the way I understand the Bibical teaching of such an issue.  I pray that your situation will change for the better.  Sometimes we don't understand hardships at the time, but later it becomes clear that it was for a reason.  I was married to an abusive man in every sense of the word for almost 6 yrs.  I know that even though I never had a clear understanding of why I entered into that marriage that the Lord had a plan and that I learned something from that experience.  It was painful, but necessary.  I have been married to a good man for 26 yrs.  Right now my husband is going through a spiritual "draught" and I have been impatient for the situation to clear up.  However, you and I must remember that God's time is very different from the way we count time.  I have been given peace in my heart that this is something I must also endure and if I remain faithful to God and His Son, Jesus Christ - I will be content and at peace with my life.  I hope this has helped somewhat, but pray you have other believers in your life who can be of assistance.
Yours in Christ

[emp821]

thank you sissy. you made a point that really helped me. i felt that if God was a god of love that there would not be a reason to stay, my father who is a retired minister has made it plain that if i leave my husband, that i am in sin, and that i must remain married until my husband leaves me, the thing is i dont believe that, i know divorce is wrong, but how can God, a god who loves me want me to remain in that situation? it made no sense. my father will basically disown me if i leave, but then it because a matter of him and God not me and God right? because wouldn't he be sinning himself?