Is itwrong ......

[carsncandy]

Is it wrong to pray for my mom to die?
My mom is terminally ill. She is 72 years young and wasting away. She lives in a nursing home now because she requires 24 hour care. I know that in her condition she is often neglected and most certainly lonely (she has told me that)
She has become almost completely unable to communicate with anyone who isn't EXTREMELY patient.She is nearly blind. Worst of all she is totally cognitive, fully aware of what is happening to her. Many times she has told me she really wishes it was over and I in the past have told her all the verses in the bible I could think of, now sometimes to say that there is purpose in this way, seems somehow cruel even ridiculous, because how can that be true. We have prayed and I realize that even though this is happening so slowly, it is going to happen, I hate the thought that the only relief will be in her death. But she'll be in the arms of her Savior, so I pray it could be over for her, that she wouldn't have to face the things this disease has in store. I'm not asking for the easy way, believe me, she has suffered so much in this life, including every abuse and abandonments you can think of.
I know God is God.I know  He is Holy. I do trust Him. I have searched the scriptures and cannot find any answers that satisfies this question.
Do you believe that He answers this prayer. I just want her suffering to be over. I hate how lonely and scared she is.
What do you think?

[Soldier4Christ]

I fully understand your feelings on this. I had to witness my Dad's suffering as well as many others. It is not an easy thing to do. I do not think that we should pray for ones death. Instead I would think that a prayer requesting that God ease her suffering might be better. If He sees fit to take her home on order to do that then that is His will. In the meantime all we can do is make them as comfortable as possible.

[nChrist]

Hello Carsncandy,

I agree with Pastor Roger. I was one of the primary care-givers when my dad was dying. We used Hospice and I'm glad that we did. They are extremely kind and loving, and they also have many resources for patients and families in difficult times. I honestly believe that they make many patients more comfortable at home than a hospital does when your loved one is in the hospital. They also have their own doctor who specializes in issues of pain and discomfort. If it comes my time before JESUS comes to take all Christians home, Hospice is what I want. It's much more personal and everyone involves seems to love the patient and their family.

I will also be praying about this.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Matthew 5:14-16 NASB  "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden;  nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

[carsncandy]

Thanks so much for the response and especially your understanding.
I do wish that hospice was an option for her. Unfortunately, for many reasons, including that she no longer has a home and she is now completely funded by the state, nursing home care was what was available when I was no longer able to care for her a few years ago.
I have been praying for His mercy and for her suffering to be lessened. It is just this that I 'm struggling with.It just seem pious to say "just trust in the Lord" etc... as if that can make it better, or not as complicated. I just don't understand and it grieves me to see this slow and undeniably hard way to go through life. I realize I sound angry, maybe I am. I am defiantly saddened.
Thanks for listening.

[Soldier4Christ]

I realize that it is not easy to understand nor to deal with. Anger as well as many other emotions are quite normal and understandable. God is not to blame for man's failures. Jesus Christ had to suffer tremendously on the cross for us. Are we any better than He that we should not suffer in this life. Unfortunately this is all a part of life in this sinful world. I thank God that He has made a way for us that we do not have to suffer eternally. I do pray for your mother that the Lord will at least lesson her suffering that she must go through in this fleshy body.

[Amorus]

Hello CNC,
I experienced something of the sorts with my Mom about six months ago.  I believe God never makes a mistake.  I truly feel that he has a perfect purpose for everything and although at times it is extremely difficult to deal with such things, the end always seems to make sense to me.  I remember praying for my Mom to be healed.  I came to this website and asked that all would pray for her.  As I was standing beside her hospital bed the night she left I felt the strangest feeling, like the Lord was speaking to me.  He had my Mom in his arms her entire and short lived life and not once did he ever leave her side, not even through her suffering.  At first I thought my prayer had not been answered when she didn't pop up out of the bed and start walking around.  Then I realized that it was answered.  He had healed her, healed her completely and now she is with our wonderful Lord and Savior.  I'm not telling you how to pray or what to pray for, but know that you will be in my prayers, especially during this difficult time.  May you always trust in the Lord.  There is a greater purpose!

Blessings to you!
-Am-

[carsncandy]

Amorus, I'm sorry you lost your mom.
Tom and P.R. I am sorry that your dads have gone too.( I am glad they where each saved!)
I also truly believe God has a purpose.
I don't blame God. I blame Satan.
I know that there is a day coming when all will be answered and she will be healed, remembering none of the former pains and sufferings in this life. I as much as you each thank Him for that. Not just for her but for me and yo as well.
I guess I wanted to know if you all felt it was wrong to pray for such a thing.
Is it a sin to not want to endure pain or witness such things or to say "no fair!" and to pray to the contrary?
I feel very conflicted by what I know about the Lord and His word (that His ways ARE better than mine and His will IS the best way)and what I feel about this situation.

Thank you so much for your prayers and insight. I am tremendously grateful for this forum because I have really needed to talk to someone about this.
Blessings back at you!

[nChrist]

Hello Carsncandy,

I've been ill, so I'm answering this late. I think that I completely understand your question. If you pray with the Will of GOD in mind and heart, you can't be wrong. GOD loves to hear our prayers, and the HOLY SPIRIT living in our hearts helps us when we need help in knowing what to pray for or how to pray.

I remember having the same thoughts you do when my dad had been suffering for such a long time. I know that GOD used my dad to witness and minister to others until just a few days before he died. I finally did start praying that GOD would take him home, but only if it was HIS Will. GOD'S Will is all important through a Christian's short life here and the end of this short life. I hope that you understand the significance placed on "GOD'S Will. I don't think that I did anything wrong in my prayers during those last days. I know that I didn't do anything that showed disrespect to GOD. Some might disagree, but I would pray the same way again - if it be GOD'S Will.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[airIam2worship]

CNC, I don't think I've had the pleasure of welcoming you to CU. So I'd like to extend a fond welcome.

I know how hard it is to see a parent die or suffer. My dad was on a breathing machine and he had tubes all over, he had been in a coma and when he woke up he begged me to take him off the life support that was doing the breathing for him. He had tears in his eyes, but I had to tell him "No", I couldn't do it instead I prayed with him to receive Jesus and for Him to give my dad the strength to bear the situation he was in. My dad patted my hand as though he understood. He died the same night, at 63.

It is so very hard to see parents suffer I lost my mom 4 years ago, but I find comfort in knowing that one day I will see them again in Heaven. I took the opportunity to witness to one of my brothers right at my mom's wake and he received Jesus as his Savior. We have to make the best of every situation that we are challenged with and always keep in mind that no matter what the enemy may throw at us we are more than conquerers thru Christ Jesus. We have to let satan know that he no loger has dominion over us, our God is more than able to see us and our loved ones through every single battle.

I am praying for both you and your mom.

[carsncandy]

Thanks.
Since my last post I have really gained some understanding. God is so faithful!
I have cried out to Him for a little bit of understanding and He replied with many Scriptures regarding affliction and compassion,
such as Psalms 119:67..." before I was afflicted I went astray.,vs 75 "and in FAITHFULNESS you have afflicted me"
Lam. 3:19-33 
These pertain to my mom so very well. Before she was saved she practiced witchcraft and many other occult things, she had searched all of her life for things of "spiritually" and rejected God' but when this illness started, she had no choice except to rely on my help. When this happened she had to leave her home to come here and eventually she gave her heart to the Lord.( I'm sparing alot of time and details here) So I understand some things now that I didn'tbefore and am so deeply moved by God's love and great compassion. I still hope that she will go to heaven soon,( maybe for Christmas.)because watching this is so hard and it's really breaking my heart. But I will no longer give over to great struggling over her suffering. He will take her home when it's time.

How precious that He would hear and answer. I see His love and faithfulness and I could not really ask for more.
Thanks again for your prayers. Much appreciated !

p.s. Tom I hope you're feeling better.

[nChrist]

Hello Carsncandy,

Thanks for asking about me. I'm much better. I'm late in answering this because I just got back from visiting all of my children and grandchildren in St. Louis for Christmas. It was a wonderful time in the LORD and something I will remember for a long time.

I was just thinking about how wonderful it is that we can all pray for each other, and GOD loves to hear our prayers. GOD also wants us to enjoy fellowship with each other, strengthen each other, and encourage each other in the LORD. We will definitely have times of trial, illness, and other bad things during this short life - BUT we must always remember that our citizenship and real home is not in this world. Our citizenship is in Heaven, and our Home is in JESUS for Eternity. The life that awaits is without pain, sadness, or sorrow of any kind. The negative things of this short life here on earth will be as nothing in comparison to what WILL BE.

Love In Christ,
Tom

John 17:24 NASB  "Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.