Love and Balance

[remnant]

1Co 13:4 Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or 1Co 13:5 rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. 1Co 13:6 Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. 1Co 13:7 Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. 1Co 13:8 Love never fails! Everyone who prophesies will stop, and unknown languages will no longer be spoken. All that we know will be forgotten.

Part of that balance is having the greatest gift in operation in our lives which is Love... oh how we need to get a hold of what it really means to love one another and be patient with our brothers and sisters as Christ was patient with us while we were making mistakes and trying to get it right. It is my prayer that we as leaders will grasp what the Father is saying concerning Love and begin to really walk in it.

remnant

[Symphony]

Thank you, remnant...


   

[Whitehorse]

This is a great question. And I would like to get some advice, too, if I could. Is it possible to love our enemies too much?

[Royo]

Very nice Remnant.

I can only agree.

[Symphony]

This is a great question. And I would like to get some advice, too, if I could. Is it possible to love our enemies too much?

What is "too much"??

But, it's a good point...

[Whitehorse]

Symphony, that's exactly my problem. I don't know what too much is. It just seems like I care too much. It's one of those things you know on a gut level, but you really, really want to see some of them to be saved, and heaven only knows which ones I choose for what reasons. But...isn't there a difference between the house of God and that of His enemy? I know what Jesus said on the cross to whom and for what reason. "Father forgive them, for they know not wha they do." But I don't know...something about it doesn't sit right with me. I don't do anything they do. I don't want anything they want. I love the One they hate. I hate what they love. But I still care. Too much, maybe. Not sure.

[Romans8_1]

This is a great question. And I would like to get some advice, too, if I could. Is it possible to love our enemies too much?

I think the love must come from God, through us. Here's what I mean by that.  If the love comes from us, it can be distorted and actually be harmful.  I can love my children in my way and end up protecting them, or spoiling them, or whatever and, although I may be giving them what they want and helping them in the short run, in the long run it will hurt them.  Sometimes we have to do things we don't like, and it may have the appearance of being un-loving, but like God, we must look at the bigger picture.  When it comes to our enemies, I try to do what God wants me too.  Yes I love them in my heart, but when it comes to action, I must let God direct me.  For instance, if I take on one of their burdens because I want to help, if God is not asking me to take on that burden, I could actually be hurting/hendering them.  I think too often we Christians take on burdens that God is not calling us to take on.  Let's say that by them carring that particular burden, God was going to be able to use that experience to bring them to Him.  It's really a fine line to know when to help and when not to.  The bottom line, is that if we are surrenduring to God, and trying the best we can to be in tune with God, then whatever we end up doing, God will bless it.

I don't know how this post came across and hope it didn't come out wrong.  I am a huge advocate of unconditional love.  I guess I'm just trying to point out the difference between feeling the love and know what actions to take.  Only God knows the big picture, and if we trying to do it on our own without consulting Him, we could be working against Him inadvertently.

[Whitehorse]

Romans, this post is a jewel. Very sweet to my ears. Thank you.

[Shylynne]

I think this article is excellent!  

To Know You Is To Love You


How do you show someone you love them? Do you buy them expensive gifts? Spend quality time together? Make personal sacrifices just to see them smile? Dedicate a song to them? Write a love letter or note of encouragement? Become their cheerleader? Those are wonderful things to do but my question goes deeper then those types of activities, even beyond your romantic partner. Think about your parents, your children, your best friend, your sister, or your brother... anyone you love. How do you really show them that you love them? Reverse the question if you like - how do you really know if someone loves you?

The answer lies in getting to know them. To truly love someone is to care about them to the very depth of who and what they are, what they believe, what they like, what they dislike, how they respond under pressure. It's so much more than what's their favorite color? Who's their favorite musician? All time favorite movie? It's knowing that they don't like fruit flavors in their colas, no cherry or lemon cokes. It's knowing just what temperature she likes her bubble bath. It's knowing that he prefers wearing cotton and why. It's knowing the perfect birthday present when they didn't even know what to ask for. It's looking at each other across a room and sharing a private joke without saying a word. Loving someone is the ability to see past the polite response to "How's it going?" and knowing that they really aren't "Fine, thanks."

How do you get to that point? You watch them. You observe them. You ask them questions. You really listen to their answers. You figure it out. Why do you put so much time and energy into it? Because you love them. Because they fascinate you. Because you really don't have anything more important to do with your time. You are really truly present. You don't ever stop. How many relationships fizzle because we simply grow apart? We grow apart because we aren't paying attention to each other anymore. We are no longer connected.

Maybe you're bitter because your own needs aren't being met. Fair enough. It sucks to be in a one sided relationship. No argument there. Tell them. Tell them you feel ignored, unimportant, distant, like it just isn't special anymore. Tell your mother you miss being really connected and close. Tell your lover you feel like the two of you are running on autopilot and it just isn't that incredible close relationship that you once had. Tell your teenager that you hate the distance that's growing between you. Reach out afterwards and ask them to share their heart's secrets with you. "Tell me who you are. Tell me what you dream of. Tell me, do you still love chocolate ice cream with Oreos on the side for breakfast? Tell me what your soul's made of, and I'll tell you about mine." Then listen, really listen. Hear their answers.

Nobody can truly be close to me and not know that Melissa Etheridge sings to my soul. You can't listen to her song Talking to my Angels and not think of me. If you really loved me enough to know me personally, you'd know that they'll be playing her song, This War Is Over at my funeral some day. You'd know that I long to visit Ireland and that I love fairies because I think they're our guardian angels. You'd know about "those two people" that I write these articles and stories for. You'd know what "the Winnebago Years" are all about. You'd know that when I'm really angry and losing control that you need to distract me with something logical to wrap my brain around and I'll suddenly start pulling myself back together. You'd know that lying is my biggest pet peeve.

What do I know about the people I love? I know that she doesn't drink caffeine anymore and always orders strawberry lemonades when we go to lunch. I know when he lies to protect me and when he lies to protect himself. I know by the look in their eyes, when my children are starting to get sick. I know why she keeps trying to become a vegetarian and why she fails at it. I know that music haunts his soul even though he's stuck working as a salesman. What would I know about you if I loved you enough to really get to know you?

Are we so wrapped up in ourselves, our careers, our own personal schedules and goals that we forget to really connect with our loved ones? When was the last time you really checked into the hearts and minds of those you profess to love? We all change, grow, evolve. Are they still the same people you fell in love with? How would you know? I'm not who I was fifteen or twenty years ago, or even the same person I was five years ago. Are you? Are they?

What's the greatest gift you can give someone? Your full attention and focus. Take the time to really get to know them after all these years. Fall in love with them all over again. Get to know them as if you've just met. Of course you have to honor their secrets, be loyal, don't use the information to play power games or to ever belittle them. That destroys trust. Use the information to pick out the perfect Valentine's gift, to plan the perfect vacation, to surprise them with a movie they've never seen but will love, or to simply bring them their coffee with the perfect amount of cream and sugar before they even realized that they wanted some.

It can be as simple as asking them, "Tell me about yourself. Tell me what the world looks like through your eyes." Create the little moments that say 'I love you' by knowing what 'I love you' looks like to them.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

[Shylynne]

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, If you have been opened by life's betrayals, Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own. If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes wiithout cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can dissapoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty everyday. And if you can source your own life from it's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"  It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

author unknown

[Shylynne]

"Don't Tip The Scale"
 
 There once was a young woman who was seeking fulfillment in her empty life. During the time of her search, someone told her about a man and all of His goodness. But she continued to seek other means of contentment to no avail. Her soul just wasn't satisfied with what the world had to offer.  She thought to herself  "Why not try Jesus".  

She went to a local house of prayer and felt God's presence in such a way that she had never experienced before. She now understood why so many people praise Him the way they do. She joined that local assembly and began to worship and serve there.

She went to all the Sunday programs, all of the mid-week programs, and any other services or church meeting that were being held during week. If that wasn't enough, she joined two choirs, the intercessory prayer group, the pastor's aid club, and every church auxiliary available. Even though, she didn't have any children, she made her available for children's church. She was at the church so much, the leaders felt the need to give her a key. This was fulfilling for a while until she found herself getting tired and drained, becoming bored and dissatisfied all over again. She found herself feeling the same way she did before she ever joined the Church.   Then she thought, "wait a minute this is not suppose to be this way". She thought once she had found this man she heard so much about,  her life would never be boring and dissatisfying again. Then what could possibly be the problem?   She got caught up in doing a lot of church work and forgot to have a relationship with Jesus.


We sometimes get so caught up in doing church work that we loose site of the reason we are there, which is learning to have a relationship with God.   We then loose site of what He would have us to do.  Developing a relationship with God does not depend on how much time you spend in church or how much work you do in the church.  There is life outside of the church walls as well.  If you are married, stay home sometime and bake your husband a cake.  Spend some quality time with your children.  You be the one to cheer them on at their basketball games.  Instead of sending them to the movies, take them to see a movie together.  They will remember and appreciate it later.  Family is important to God.  After all, He created family before He created the church.  


Keep in mind that Church work is important, because there is much work to be done in your local church.  However, working in the church has its proper place just as does all other day to day functions.  The body of Christ has many members, so don't feel as if you have to be the one to do it all.  


From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.  Ephesians 4:16


Also while striving for perfect attendance, sometimes family and friends are forgotten?  Take time out and just enjoy life. God came to give us life and give it more abundantly. There is noting wrong with getting together with friends and family and having fun as long as you keep it holy. Sometimes we can be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good.


A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight.  Proverbs 11:1


It grieves God when we are off balance. He can't use us if we are burned out. We are of no us to Him, which means we are of no use to ourselves or anyone else.


The usual symptoms of burnout are becoming bored and tired, doing job because of habit or because of a routine. You may even go so far as trying to rebuke the devil and his spirits of boredom, fatigue, and slothfulness, when in actuality the problem is that you have allowed yourself to get off balance.  There are simply going to be times when situations arise and you can't make it to church.  Don't let condemnation become your friend.  The building will still be standing, the choir will continue to sing and service will go on as usual.  Who are you being more loyal and faithful to, God or people?


In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.  
                                                                                                                                                                          Psalms 56:4
In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.  
                                                                                                                                                                Proverbs 56:11


Don't worry about people, because if you are being lead by the Holy Spirit then you will do what God's word says concerning His people.  People may never approve of you, but as long as God approves, all is well.


Therefore, if you find yourself getting bored, restless, or dissatisfied in your Christian walk, home life, work, or whatever, it is very possible that you are off balanced and headed straight for burnout. We serve a great big and powerful God. There is no room or reason for us to get bored, restless, or become dissatisfied in Him. There is just too life in His presence, too much glory to be revealed, too much work to be done, and more than one way to do it.  


In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  Proverbs 3:6


Stay focused and stay balanced !!


God bless you.

author unknown

[TrueFreedom]

"Christ was patient with us while we were making mistakes and trying to get it right."

  And I believe we still are trying to get it right, Remnant, and Jesus is still patient.  
I agree. I believe our growth in love, hinges upon & revolves around our personal relationship with Christ, though. If it is genuine, honest & maintained, this area is addressed. Over the years, I've noticed a huge change in myself towards others, and this kind of love is not something I could "drum up" from within myself (other than "excercising myself unto godliness)", but is worked into our character as we walk with Jesus, learn & grow. As our personal relationship with Christ grows, we begin at some point--to share the same heartbeat as God, to sincerely care about the things He cares about....our relationship with Him matures, going from all about "me" & what I need or want...to all about HIM & what He wants. I also think that people who were hurt or abused in their upbringing, might find the Love of I Corinthians 13 a bit more of a challenge. But God knows how to get us there, as long as we hang in there with Him. I think the hardest thing for me to learn--was that God's love is not selective about whom it extends itself to. And I learned that loving someone is not about always being "syrupy" & sweet, and soft with others, ("Behold the goodness & severity of God") but sometimes love can only bear & endure & be patient......and firm. It's goal & focus is always for that other person's best interest. And sometimes love must pull back & leave the person in God's hands through prayer, when they abuse the love extended to them continually. Sometimes, all love can do is pray. Yet God shows us how to apply His love. As we grow in Him & see how He relates with us personally, we too begin to share His character & become skillful at loving.

[remnant]

Amen bless the Lord for the responses to this post.


Remnant

[lampwicke]

dear Whitehorse,
Is it possible to love to much? I believe that love and forgiveness cannot operate,without the balance of which Remant speaks of.If we look at  Peter asking Jesus how many times are we to forgive,He responded "not seven times,but seventy times seven",meaning infinite,without limit.This is also IMO,how much love we are to give others.
The flesh within,not understanding the ways of our God,does battle against our very spirit,it is deeply concerned for others and their eternal outcome. The Spirit of God knows,that since the Father did predistinate,He also sanctified and consecrated,who he consecrated He also justified through Jesus Christ. Hell will be filled with many who will make the choice of unbelief,even when Jesus is seen coming in the clouds,with their own eyes they will deny Him.It is noble,and a human trait,to be concerned for all those who will not get to heaven,but this is one aspect of the Fathers plan. He would that all be saved,but also knows that His creation has that "choice " which He Himself has given them. Rejoice,in that you have been chosen, for many have been called,but few will accept Jesus.He came not for prestige or love, but for unbelief to save the lost,(for those who would accept Him?)
About unconditional love, at our salvation, we are given among other things small portions of a measure of faith,Gods Agape love(the only true unconditional love),humans cannot perceive what this is,Oh! they speak the words,go through the motions,and through their spiritual walk with their God will perfect this one aspect of their God ,along with His truth,and His highest order of that truth, His Wisdom.There are many more bits and pieces of Gods qualities given us within our salvation,and we are to develop these portions,like our faith,etc. in order to emulate our Jesus.There will come a time while we walk this earth, if we have been obedient to learning Gods Agape, that we can over time,present ourselves with some degree of purity and spotlessness before our Lord, and comply with the desire of Jesus within us and be healed through Him in us, and allow Him to again walk this earth through us,so that we can carry others burdens,cry their tears, lift and encourage them for the stronger must help the weaker.Only in wellness, and wholeness can we do this,and only in Christ Jesus can we attain this,and only to the point of our humanity, for perfection can only come  when we possess a glorified spiritual body,this is our great hope.
In His love,       lampwicke      xxx

[Shylynne]

Counterfeit Love


      Some form of the word "love" exists in scripture 543 times and is, conceivably, one of the most abused, excused, and misused words in modern lingo today.

      I love your style. I just loved that show. I love the way you fix your hair! I love ice cream. Oh, I love what you've done with this room! I love you in that dress. I love it when you make me laugh.

      I LOVE YOU ... unless I get hurt ... just don't ask me to help ... only when my needs come first ... though not if it means listening to you ... barring when I can take credit ... when it's convenient ... if you love me ... as long as you do what I say ... but not your children ... unless you get in my way ... until I think of some good jokes at your expense ... except you put on a few pounds ... omitting when friends are around ... whenever it benefits me.

     Let's make love. If you love me, you'll do it. Never mind that I'm sleeping with someone else, it's you I love. You're just stupid - you know I love you.

     I love you, but I won't forgive you. I'm sorry for hurting you, again, but you know I love you. I told you once that I love you, that ought to be enough. What do I have to say to make you believe me ... I (bleep, bleep) love you, all right? If I say I love you, then I love you. I can see others and still love you.

     When you measure up to my expectations, then I'll love you.

     Some speak most eloquent words of love. Fewer show it in their lives. But, whatever they speak, actions speak even louder.

     Surely, God must prefer to disassociate from situations where people misuse words that describe His character. And, wherever He isn't, it isn't love.

     It is impossible to love until we (know God and) begin to love others as He loves us, because God is love and it's His Spirit that loves through us (1 John 4:8, 12b-13).

     Anything less is counterfeit.

amen.

©2004 by Joyce C. Lock