COUNSELS OF THE AGED TO THE YOUNG

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COUNSELS OF THE AGED TO THE YOUNG


Archibald Alexander, 1844
 

It is a matter of serious regret that young people are commonly so little disposed to listen to the advice of the aged. This prejudice seems to have its origin in an apprehension that austerity and rigor naturally belong to advanced years; and that the loss of all susceptibility of pleasure from those scenes and objects which afford delight to the young, produces something of an ill-natured or envious feeling towards them. Now it cannot be denied that some of the aged are chargeable with the fault of being too rigid in exacting from youth the same steady gravity which is fitting in those who have lived long, and have had much experience in the world: not remembering that the constitutional temperament of these two periods of human life is very different.

In youth, the spirits are buoyant, the susceptibilities lively, the affections ardent, and the hopes optimistic. To the young, everything in the world wears the garb of freshness; and the novelty and variety of the scenes presented keep up a constant excitement. These traits of youthful character, as long as sin and excess are avoided, are not only allowable, but amiable; and would in that age be badly exchanged for the more sedate and grave emotions which are the natural effects of increasing years, and of long and painful experience.

But it is greatly to be desired that the lessons of wisdom taught by the experience of one set of men should be made available for the instruction of those who come after them. We have, therefore, determined to address a few short hints of advice to the rising generation, on subjects of deep and acknowledged importance to all; but previously to commencing, we would assure them that it is no part of our object to interfere with their innocent enjoyments, or to deprive them of one pleasure which cannot be shown to be injurious to their best interests. We wish to approach you, dear youth, in the character of affectionate friends, rather than in that of dogmatic teachers or stern reprovers. We would therefore solicit your patient, candid and impartial attention to the following counsels:

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1. Resolve to form your lives upon some certain principles, and to regulate your actions by fixed rules. Man was made to be governed by reason, and not by mere accident or caprice. It is important, therefore, that you begin early to consider and inquire what is the proper course of human conduct, and to form some plan for your future lives. The lack of such consideration is manifest in the conduct of multitudes. They are governed by the reckless impulses of the moment, heedless of consequences. They have fixed no steady aim and have adopted no certain principles of action. Living thus at random—it would be a miracle if they went uniformly right. In order to your pursuing a right path, you must know what that path is, and to acquire this knowledge, you must divest yourselves of thoughtless giddiness, you must take time for serious reflection.

It will not sufficient, to adopt without consideration the opinions of your acquaintances, for they may have some sinister design in regard to you, or they may themselves be misled by error or prejudice. People already involved in dissipation or entangled in error, naturally desire to encourage themselves, by the number of followers whom they can seduce into the paths of vice. As reasonable creatures, therefore, judge for yourselves what course it is right and fitting that you should pursue. Exercise your own reason independently and impartially, and do not give yourselves up to be governed by mere caprice and fashion, or by the opinions of others.

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2. While you are young, avail yourselves of every opportunity of acquiring useful KNOWLEDGE. Reason should guide us; but without correct knowledge reason is useless; just as the most perfectly formed eye would be useless without light. There is in every man a natural thirst for knowledge, which needs only to be cultivated and rightly directed. All have not equal opportunities of obtaining important knowledge: but all have more advantages for this object than they utilize. The sources of information are innumerable: the principal, however, are books and other people. In regard to the former, no age of the world which has passed was so favored with a multiplicity of books as our own. Indeed the very number and diversity of character and tendency of authors now create one of the most obvious difficulties to those who are destitute of wise advisers. It would be an unwise counsel to tell you to read indiscriminately whatever comes to hand. The press gives circulation not only to useful knowledge, but to error dressed up plausibly in the garb of truth. Many books are useless, others are on the whole injurious, and some are impregnated with a deadly poison. Waste not your time in works of idle fiction. Touch not the book which exhibits vice in an alluring form. Seek the advice of judicious friends in the choice of books.

But you may also learn much from listening to the conversation of the wise and godly. There is scarcely a person so ignorant, who has lived any time in the world, who cannot communicate some profitable hint to the young. Avail yourselves, then, of every opportunity of learning what you do not know; and let not pride prevent you from seeking instruction, lest by this means you should betray your ignorance. Nourish the desire of knowledge, and keep your mind constantly awake and open to instruction from every quarter.

But, especially, I would recommend to you the acquisition of self-knowledge. "Know yourself" was a precept held in such high esteem among the ancients, that the honor of inventing it was claimed for several of their wisest men; and not only so, but on account of its superlative excellence, it was believed by many to have been uttered by the oracle of Apollo at Delphi; at which place, as Pliny informs us, it was conspicuously written in letters of gold, over the door of the temple.

And this species of knowledge is also inculcated in the Christian Scriptures as most useful and necessary. "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" (2 Cor 13:5) And in the Old Testament the value of this knowledge is also fully recognized, where we are exhorted "to commune with our own hearts", (Psalm 4:4) and "to keep our hearts with all diligence". (Prov 4:23) And the possession of it is made an object of fervent prayer: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts" (Psalm 139:23)—"Examine me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind." (Psalm 26:2)

As this knowledge is necessary to all, so it is placed within the reach of all. But it cannot be acquired without diligent self-examination. To this duty there exists in human nature a strong repugnance, partly from natural and partly from moral causes, so that by most it is entirely neglected, to their exceeding great detriment. But, when it is attempted, we are in great danger of being misled by self-love and prejudice. To acquire any true knowledge of ourselves, some good degree of honesty and impartiality is essentially requisite. But an honest desire to arrive at the truth is not the only prerequisite to self-knowledge. The mind must be enlightened in regard to the standard of rectitude to which we ought to be conformed. "The entrance of your Word gives light." (Psalm 119:130) The Word of God should dwell richly in us, and by the rules and principles of the sacred volume we should form all our sentiments respecting ourselves. This is the candle of the Lord which searches the inward parts of man; and without such a lamp it would be as impossible to obtain any considerable degree of self-knowledge—as to distinguish the objects in a dark room without a light. Self-examination, accompanied with a careful perusal of the Holy Scriptures, will lead us daily to a more thorough knowledge of our own character.

Beware of the common illusion of forming your estimate of yourselves from the favorable opinions of those around you. They cannot know the secret principles from which you act, and flattery may have much influence in leading them to speak in your praise.

Seize favorable opportunities of judging of the latent strength of your passions. The fact is that, until some new occasion elicits our feelings, we are as ignorant of what is within us, as other people.

Study also your constitutional temperament, and consider attentively the power which particular objects and circumstances have over you. You may often learn even from your enemies and calumniators what are the weak points in your character. They are sagacious in detecting faults, and generally have some shadow of truth for what they allege against us. We may therefore derive more benefit from the sarcasms of our foes, than from the flattery of our friends.

Learn, moreover, to form a correct estimate of your own abilities, as this is necessary to guide you in your undertakings.

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3. Be careful to form good HABITS. Almost all permanent habits are contracted in youth, and these do in fact form the character of the man through life. It is Paley, I believe, who remarks that we act from habit nine times, where we do once from deliberation. Little do young people apprehend the momentous consequences of many of their most frequently repeated actions. Some habits are merely inconvenient, but have no moral quality; others affect the principles of our conduct, and become sources of good or evil to an incalculable degree. As to the former, they should be avoided, as detracting from our comfort and ultimately interfering with our usefulness; but the latter should be deprecated, as laying the foundation of a wicked character, and as standing in the way of all mental and moral improvement.

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4. Be particular and select, in the company which you keep, and the FRIENDSHIPS which you form. "Tell me," says the proverb, "what company you keep, and I will tell you what you are." "Bad company ruins good morals." (1 Cor 15:33) Vice is more easily and extensively diffused by improper companions, than by all other means. As one infected sheep communicates disease to a whole flock, so one sinner often destroys much good, by corrupting all the youth who fall under his influence. When wicked men are possessed of wit and fascinating personality, their influence is most dangerous to the young. We would entreat you, dear young friends, to form an intimacy with no one whose principles are suspicious. The friendship of profligate men is exceedingly dangerous. Listen not to their fair speeches, and warm professions of attachment. Fly from contact with them, as from one infected with the plague! Form no close alliance with such. No more think of taking them to your bosom, than you would a viper! Gaze not on their beauty, nor allow yourselves to be charmed with their fascination of manners. Under these specious appearances, a deadly poison lurks!

"Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers", (2 Cor 6:14) is the exhortation of Scripture. And what can be more unfitting and incongruous, than for an amiable and virtuous woman to be indissolubly united to an unprincipled debauchee? Or, for a good man to be married to a woman destitute of piety and virtue? Be especially careful, therefore, in forming alliances for life. Seek friendship with the wise and godly, and you will become wiser and better by converse with such.

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5. Endeavor to acquire and maintain a good REPUTATION. "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches." (Prov 22:1) A ruined fortune may be recovered, a lost reputation never. Young men are often laying the foundation of a bad reputation, while they are thinking of no such thing. They never dream that the character which they attain at school or college will probably be as lasting as life. The youth who is known to be addicted to falsehood, knavery, treachery, etc., when arrived at the age of man, will be viewed by those who know him with distrust. A stain on the character is not easily washed out; at a distant period the faults and follies of youth may be revived to a man's confusion and injury. But especially is the female character exquisitely delicate. A small degree of imprudence will often fix a stigma on the mirthful young lady, which no subsequent sobriety can completely erase.

We do not mean that the young should nourish a false sense of honor, which would lead them to fight and contend for reputation. The reputation which we recommend must arise from a life of consistent and uniform well-doing. Prize such a character, as of inestimable value to your own peace, and as a most powerful means of usefulness. The most potent human engine of utility is influence; and this depends entirely on reputation.

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6. Manage your FINANCIAL concerns with economy and discretion. Avoid the inconvenience, embarrassment, and vexation of being in debt. Conduct your business with attention and diligence; and have your accounts in such a condition, that you will be at no loss to ascertain the true state of your affairs. Men often become unjust, and injurious to others, without having intended any such thing, merely by a confused and careless manner of transacting their business. Such a man, after a while, feels an unconquerable aversion to a scrutiny into his affairs. He shuts his eyes against the ruin which he is bringing on himself, and heedlessly rushes forward in the path which habit or fashion has rendered agreeable. When, at length, an exigence arrives which constrains him to adopt some measure to extricate himself from his difficulties, he is placed under strong temptation to resort to a course which is not strictly honorable. He persuades himself that, if he can save his credit for the present, he will be able to rectify everything by diligence and good fortune, and to preserve his friends from suffering on his account. But these efforts to recover lost ground commonly prove ineffectual, and render the situation of the person more involved than before. He finds, at length, that he is sinking; and this discovery often produces a desperate recklessness. He plunges deeper and deeper into debt, and often drags to ruin, not only his own family, but some of his friends who confided too implicitly in his truth and integrity.

It is also too common for men who have failed in trade, to resort to means for the support of a helpless family, which a sound moral faculty never can approve. The temptation arising from the tender love of wife and children is indeed very strong, but not invincible. In the commercial world, there are many illustrious examples of merit, honor, and the strictest honesty in men who had it in their power to defraud their creditors, or deeply to involve their confiding friends; but who chose rather to look haggard poverty in the face, and to see their beloved families descending from affluence into the valley of obscurity, than to be guilty of a dishonorable act. And in the long run this turns out more to the benefit of those people, than any advantage obtained by a resort to shifts and evasions not entirely consistent with the highest integrity.

He who sacrifices reputation for present comfort buys it at too dear a rate. The merchant who, when he fails, loses his reputation for truth and integrity, will meet with but little favor from the world, and will have very little chance of rising again. But he who has been unfortunate, and yet maintains his integrity and preserves his character unsullied, is often able to enter again into business under favorable auspices; and is encouraged and aided in his attempts to gain a living, by men of wealth and standing. Such a man is often successful to such a degree, that he has it in his power to compensate those from whom benefit was derived in the day of his calamity.

cont

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Beware of being governed by ambition in your commercial enterprises. The pride of doing a large business, and of being considered as at the head of the profession, seduces many aspiring young merchants: and 'greediness of gain' tempts still more to engage in hazardous speculations, and to trade to an extent not authorized by the capital which they have at command. In this way bankruptcies become so common, that the event ceases to excite much surprise. Families delicately raised, and long accustomed to the luxuries as well as the comforts of life, are reduced to poverty.

Multitudes of such families are found in our large commercial cities, who are really more properly the objects of charity, than is the common beggar who clamorously solicits your charity. The real privations and sufferings of such are not fully known; for, from the desire of avoiding the contempt and the pity of vulgar minds, such people spread a decent veil over their indigence, and prefer to pine secretly in poverty, rather than to seek relief by a public disclosure of their necessities. The Christian philanthropist will, however, seek out such sufferers, and will contrive methods of bestowing relief upon them in a way consistent with the delicacy of their feelings.

The above remarks are particularly adapted to those who engage in commerce; but they are not inapplicable to others. It is true, integrity is the soul of a merchant; but it is a sterling quality which every man ought to possess; and all men are liable to be reduced to a state of indigence by a long series of adverse events. My counsel then is, that you commence and pursue business with prudence; and when unfortunate, that you so act as to preserve your integrity and your reputation, by resorting to no equivocal means of relief; but resolve to act in conformity with the strictest rules of justice and honor.

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7. Aim at CONSISTENCY in your Christian character.  There is a beauty in moral consistency, which resembles the symmetry of a well-proportioned building—where nothing is deficient, nothing excess. Consistency can only be acquired and maintained by cultivating every part of the Christian character. The circle of Christian virtues must be complete, without chasms or insincerity. A character which is well proportioned and nicely balanced in all its parts, we are not very frequently permitted to witness. For, while in one branch there is vigor and even exuberance, in another there may be the appearance of feebleness and fruitlessness. The man who is distinguished for virtues of a particular class, is apt to be deficient in those which belong to a different class.

This is so commonly the fact, that many entertain the opinion that the same person cannot excel in every virtue. Thus it is not expected that the man of remarkable firmness and courage should at the same time be distinguished for meekness and gentleness. But after making due allowance for a difference of constitutional temperament, we must maintain that there is not, nor can there be, any incompatibility between the several virtues of the Christian life. They are all branches of the same root, and the principle which affords nourishment to one, communicates its virtue to all.

As all truth is harmonious, however it may, on a superficial and partial view, seem to be contradictory; so all the exercises of moral goodness are not only consistent, but assist and adorn each other. This is so much the case, that symmetry of Christian character has, by some distinguished writers, been laid down as a necessary evidence of genuineness. And it has been insisted on, as probable, that where one virtue seems to exist in great strength, while others are remarkably lacking, it is a mark of spuriousness.

There is much reason in this view of the subject; for men are frequently found whose zeal blazes out ardently and conspicuously, so as to leave most others far back in their shadows, while they are totally destitute of that humility, meekness and brotherly kindness which form an essential part of the Christian character. Some men are conscientious and punctilious in the performance of all the external rites and duties connected with the worship of God—who are inattentive to the obligations of strict justice and veracity in their fellowship with men. And on the other hand, many boast of their morality, and yet are notoriously inattentive to the duties of religion.

Real Christians, too, are often chargeable with inconsistency, which arises from a lack of clear discernment of the rule of moral conduct in its application to particular cases; for while the general principles of duty are plain, and easily understood by all; the ability to discriminate between right and wrong in many complicated cases is extremely rare. This delicate and correct perception of moral relations can only be acquired by the divine blessing on our assiduous exertions. It is too commonly taken for granted that Christian morals are a subject so easy, that all close study of it is unnecessary. This is an injurious mistake. Many of the deficiencies and inconsistencies of Christians are owing to a lack of clear and correct knowledge of the exact rule of moral conduct. On no subject will you find a greater diversity of opinion, than in regard to the lawfulness or unlawfulness of particular practices. And even godly men are often thrown into difficulty and doubt respecting the proper course to be pursued.

cont

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But while many cases of inconsistency arise from  ignorance of the exact standard of rectitude, more must be attributed to heedlessness and forgetfulness. Many Christian people do not act sufficiently from principle, but too much from custom, from fashion, and from habit. Thus many actions are performed without any inquiry into their moral character. There is an dullness in that person's moral sensibility, which permits evils to pass without censure.

Another cause of the inconsistency so commonly observed, is the prevalence which certain passions or appetites may obtain, in the time of temptation. The force of the internal principles of evil is not perceived when the objects and circumstances favorable to their exercise are absent. As the venomous adder seems to be harmless while chilled with cold, but soon manifests his malignity when brought near the fire—so sin often lies hid in the bosom, as though it were dead—until some exciting cause draws it forth into exercise. And then the person himself is surprised to find the strength of his own passions, above anything which he had before conceived. Thus men often act, in certain circumstances, in a way altogether contrary to the general tenor of their conduct.

It is by no means a fair inference from a single act of irregularity, that the person who is guilty of it has acted hypocritically in all the apparent good actions of his former life. The true explanation is, that principles of action which he has commonly been able to govern and restrain, acquire, in some unguarded moment, or under the power of some strong temptation, a force which his good principles are not at that moment strong enough to oppose. The man who is usually correct and orderly may thus be overtaken in a fault; and as all people are liable to the same frailties, there should exist a disposition to receive and restore an offending brother, when he gives sufficient evidence of penitence.

Man at his best estate in this world is an inconsistent creature. The only people in whom this defect is not observed are the men who by grace live near to God, and exercise a constant jealousy and vigilance over themselves. But when faith is weak and inconstant, great inconsistencies will mar the beauty of the Christian character.

cont

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Young people ought, therefore, to begin early to exercise this vigilance, and to keep their hearts with all diligence, lest they be ensnared by their own passions, and overcome by the power of temptation. I counsel you then, my young friends, to aim at consistency. Cultivate assiduously every part of the Christian character, so that there may appear a beautiful proportion in your virtue.

The reflections to which I have been led in speaking of consistency of Christian character, suggest the importance of urging upon you the government of your passions. A man who has no control over his passions is justly compared to a ship at sea, which is driven by fierce winds, while she neither is governed by the rudder nor steered by the compass. By indulgence, the passions gain strength very rapidly; and when once the habit of indulgence is fixed, the moral condition of the sinner is most deplorable, and almost desperate.

To preserve consistency, it is necessary to be well acquainted with the weak points in our own character, to know something of the strength of our own passions, and to guard beforehand against the occasions and temptations which would be likely to cause us to act inconsistently with our Christian profession. Many men have successfully contended with their own passions, and although naturally of a hasty and irritable temper, have, by constant discipline, brought themselves into a habitual state of calmness—so that however they may be conscious of the strugglings of the natural passions, they are kept so completely under restraint—that to others they do not seem to exist!

The anecdote which is related of Socrates and the physiognomist is instructive on this point. When the latter, upon examining the lines of the philosopher's face, pronounced that he was a man of bad temper, and exceedingly irascible, the disciples of Socrates laughed him to scorn, as having betrayed the weakness of his art by so totally mistaking the true disposition of their master. But Socrates checked their ridicule by acknowledging that his natural temper had been truly represented by the physiognomist, but that by self-discipline, he had been able to acquire such a mastery over his passions, that their existence was not apparent.

To achieve a victory of this kind is more honorable than to conquer in the field of battle; according to that of the wise man, "Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit than he who takes a city." (Prov 16:32) And again, "He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." (Prov 25:28) Learn then, my young friends, to bridle your passions, and govern your temper, from your earliest days.

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8. Be CONTENTED with the station and circumstances in which Providence has placed you. Never repine at God's dealings towards you, nor envy those who are above you in worldly advantages. Consider not so much what you lack, as what you have; and look less at those above you, than at those in inferior circumstances. Accustom yourselves to look on the bright side, rather than the dark side of the picture. Indulge not in unreasonable fears, nor give way to feelings of despondency. Exercise fortitude and maintain tranquility of mind. Be not ruffled and disconcerted by every little cross event which may occur. Place not your happiness at the disposal of everyone who may be disposed to speak an unkind word, or to do an unkind thing. Learn to possess your souls in patience, believing that when appearances are darkest, the dawn of a more comfortable day is near.

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9. Let your fellowship with others be marked by a strict and conscientious regard to truth, honor, justice, kindness and courtesy. We should certainly have recommended politeness, as a happy means of polishing social fellowship, and affording pleasure to those with whom you are conversant; but many are accustomed to connect an unpleasant idea with this word. But surely, genuine politeness, if not itself a virtue, spreads a charm and a beauty over that which is virtuous. And certainly there is no merit in awkwardness and clownishness. But our chief object under this particular is to urge upon you a constant and meticulous regard to the social virtues. Be honest, be upright, sincere, men of your word, faithful to every trust, kind to everybody, respectful where respect is due, generous according to your ability, grateful for benefits received, and delicate in the mode of conferring favors. Let your integrity be unsuspected. Never resort to any base or underhand measure: but let your conduct and conversation be characterized by frankness and candor, by patience, and a spirit of generosity and forgiveness. In short, "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you". (Matt 7:12)

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10. Do not live merely for yourselves, but also for the good of others. Selfishness contracts the soul, and hardens the heart. The man absorbed in selfish pursuits is incapable of the sweetest, noblest joys of which our nature is susceptible. The Author of our being has ordained laws, according to which the most exquisite pleasure is connected, not with the direct pursuit of our own happiness—but with the exercise of benevolence. On this principle it is, that he who labors wholly for the benefit of others, and as it were forgets himself—is far happier than the man who makes himself the center of all his affections, the sole object of all his exertions. On this principle it was, that our Savior said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35) Resolve, therefore, to lead lives of usefulness. Be indifferent to nothing which has any relation to the welfare of men. Be not afraid of diminishing your own happiness, by seeking that of others. Devise liberal things, and let not covetous or avarice shut up your hand from giving to him who has a genuine need, and to promote the cause of piety and humanity.

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11. Be faithful and conscientious in the discharge of all duties which arise out of the relations which you sustain to others.  'Relative duties' are far more numerous than all others, because the occasions requiring their performance are constantly occurring. The duties of parents, of children, of brothers and sisters, of neighbors, of masters and servants, of teachers and pupils, of magistrates and citizens, of the learned professions, of trade, of the rich and the poor—occupy a very large portion of the time and attention of every man. And these furnish the proper test of character. "He who is faithful in little—is faithful also in much." (Luke 16:10) And he who is not attentive to the daily recurring duties of his station—in vain claims the reputation of virtue or piety by splendid acts of public beneficence. "Though I give all my goods to feed the poor, and have not love—it profits me nothing." (1 Cor 13:3)

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